AN: After careful consideration I decided to write a sequel to “Lonely” since I know you guys want to know if Duo found Hilde. Okay, so Hilde has been gone for a good long while, it took Duo at least four months to get off his ass and go look for her so it has been enough time for Hilde to have given birth.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its characters. I also do not own the song, it belongs to Frankie J. Beautiful song it is too. Spanish and English. I had to get his CD, I’ve loved him since his Kumbia Kings days…

Forget the Pain

Duo was nervous. His heart fluttered in his chest and it was going a million miles per hour. He couldn’t believe he’d found her. It had taken him a whole month but he had finally picked up her trail and now here he was. He sighed and knocked on the door of the house. It was in a nice neighborhood in a good part of L2.

At first he couldn’t believe she had stayed on the colony and after a couple of weeks of searching and finding no records of her leaving the colony he’d started to search there.

His nervousness faded and was replaced by delight when he saw the pixie on the other side of the door. He struggled for words for a few seconds and they just stared at each other. He gave her a sad smile. “Hi,” he said quietly.

She was shocked to see him. She couldn’t say or do anything but shake her head at him. “What are you doing here?” she whispered after a few long minutes. She shook her head again not wanting to meet his eyes.

He looked hurt, sad, delighted and happy all at the same time. Gathering up his courage he said, “I want to talk, may I come in?”

She hesitated for a few seconds before moving aside to let him step in the house. “Take a seat,” she said making a sweeping motion with her hand. “Do you want coffee?”

“Um… yes, please.” He was nervous all over again. He’d practiced what he was going to say to her for hours on end with the mirror in the bathroom but even then he couldn’t get it right. He would stumble with his words or they would get jumbled together. He knew he was in the wrong and he was the one that had to apologize to her, but knowing that didn’t make it any easier for him. He still had to swallow his pride and lay himself open to her.

He took a few seconds to look around her house. It was small but nice. He searched for any sign of a toy or anything that would indicate that tiny person he knew she’d given birth to during their separation. He didn’t see anything but kept quiet, deciding to ask about that when they were done with their conversation.

After a few minutes she came back with a tray and all the ingredients for coffee and a few cookies on a plate. She gestured for him to make his coffee and began doing that same.

The small living room was filled with tension, and it was so thick that you could choke on it. The didn’t talk or say anything or a long time. Neither one knew what to say, least of all Duo.

“I’m sorry,” was all he said. She didn’t say anything so he took this as a sign that she was going to let him talk until she thought it was enough. “I know I said, and I did, a lot of things, Hilde, but I didn’t mean them.” His nose began to itch, a sure sign that he wanted to cry. He swallowed the lump in his throat and waited to see if she responded.

I can’t believe you had the nerve to say the things you said,

They hurt so bad that they ended our relationship

I can’t believe it, four years gone down the drain

Oh how I wish things would have happened so differently

I tried to save us many times but still you couldn’t see

You kept insisting and resisting that you would not fall again

Hilde felt tears in her eyes. She had promised to be strong when she finally confronted him. She knew that one day she would eventually see him and they would both have to face up to al the mistakes they’d made during their time together. “It’s very easy to say sorry, isn’t it, Duo? With hindsight everything is much easier.”

“I know I was an ass the last time we saw each other and I know I don’t deserve to come here and tell you that I’m sorry, but it’s still the way I feel. I’m sorry for everything I did to you. I’m sorry for all the yelling, all the fights and all the pain I caused you during those last few months Hilde. But I’m being sincere, I do mean what I’m saying. I’m so sorry, Hilde.”

And now you’re trying to tell me that you’re sorry

And you’re trying to come back home

You’re telling me you really need me crying,

Begging both knees are on the floor

But baby I…

She let the tears fall down her cheeks and angrily wiped them away. “I’m sure you mean it Duo. You’re the most honest person I know… and that’s why I forgive you.”

She knew that Duo was very immature and that he longed to have the life of a normal young man, the life that the war had taken away from him so easily.

She looked up at him and saw him smiling. She felt angry at him for thinking that she would take him back so easily. “But it’s not that same, Duo. And it will never be the same.”

“I know that,” he said quickly. He stood up from his seat across from her and sat next to her on the couch. “I know it can’t ever be the same, but I love you.”

“I love you too, Duo, but…” She hesitated.

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

Don’t wanna try no more

You keep insisting when you know our love is out the door

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try ‘cause all we do is fight

And say the things that hurt so bad to where we both begin to cry

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

I’ve ‘bout just had enough

It’s been a rough road baby just let it go

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

Don’t wanna try no more

Tell me what’s the use of holding on when all we do

Is hurt our love

“We can’t be together anymore. I don’t want to try to make this relationship work when I know it won’t. Everything that could possibly go wrong in a relationship went wrong in ours. We need to let this go, Duo.”

She brought her eyes up to meet his and regretted it immediately. His eyes were twin pools of pain and disappointment. The emotion in his eyes was so raw, so naked that it scared her. It scared her to know that he could feel so much, so many emotions at the same time and they all showed in his eyes at that moment.

The tears she’d so angrily wiped away before came forth unchecked this time. “All we do is hurt each other, Duo. What kind of future can we have when all we do is hurt each other and our love? The love is still there but we can’t make it work. I love you, Duo, and you’re… the one I want to be with together but I know we can’t be together. We had so many dreams and so many aspirations, Duo. Where did they all go?”

“Hilde we still have those dreams, Hilde… and we have a baby.”

You and I had many conversations on the telephone

Talks about one day we’re having a place of our own

Wake up in the morning and have breakfast ready on the table

But all of that just seems so far away from me

Had to wake up, face reality

It all just seems too good to be true,

After all you put me through

“No we don’t. We don’t’ have anything, just a love that will not be enough to save us from ourselves in the end.”

He stared at her with wide eyes. “What do you mean “we don’t have anything” Hilde? We have a child together!” This wasn’t the way he’d imagined this reunion. He hadn’t expected her to welcome him with open arms, but he wasn’t expecting her to say she didn’t want to try one more time.

She looked down at her hands on her lap. She didn’t want to bring those memories back. She had already made her peace with it and she didn’t want the anger, the disappointment and the frustration to come back.

And now you’re trying to tell me that you’re sorry

And you’re trying to come back home

You’re telling me you really need me crying,

Begging both knees are on the floor

But baby I…

“I can’t do this, Duo. No, please don’t make me say it. Please just leave and leave me alone. We can’t be together and I don’t want to try.”

“Why not? Why don’t you want to be with me anymore? I love you and you love me, why can’t we be together again? Why can’t all three of us be together?” he asked her, taking her hand in his and squeezing it lightly.

“Because we hurt each other more than we love each other and… because there is no baby anymore, Duo.”

His eyes widened for the second time that day. No baby? “What do you mean?”

She looked down at her feet, not willing to meet his eyes again. She didn’t want to see the pain her statement would cause. Her own pain was enough, she would not be able to take his pain too. With a shaky sigh she told him. “I had a late term miscarriage. It was a few days after I left, Duo. Almost six months ago.”

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

Don’t wanna try no more

You keep insisting when you know our love is out the door

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try ‘cause all we do is fight

And say the things that hurt so bad to where we both begin to cry

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

I’ve ‘bout just had enough

It’s been a rough road baby just let it go

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

Don’t wanna try no more

Tell me what’s the use of holding on when all we do

Is hurt our love

She still refused to look up at his face. She would not look up. She couldn’t. She’d come to terms with it and he had to too.

“We have nothing, Duo. I don’t want to try. Please leave.”

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

Don’t wanna try no more

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

Ohhhhhh…

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

Don’t wanna try no more

Don’t wanna try, don’t wanna try

Don’t wanna try no more

Ohhhhhh…

The End

AN: Sad huh? Sorry, I just couldn’t let them have a happy ending. I hope you guys liked it. I worked on it for a few days. My bf is coming back tonight so I’m really not sad anymore. I think the first one had more feeling than this one, but I still like this one. I hope the song fit. I really like this song. The title comes from one of the lyrics from the Spanish version of “Don’t Wanna Try.” Review. And be nice!