I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its lovely characters. I make no money by writing this.

The Thought of You

She was okay now. Much better than she had been a few years ago. She could smile a real smile, one that reached her eyes. And she could safely say that she could love again. She was in love again and her future looked brighter than ever. And her happiness would be complete with the arrival of her first child. But there would always be that one stray thought that could bring all her happiness crashing down. It didn’t happen too often now, which she was thankful for, but it did dampen her mood still. He was a tiny ache in her heart, but that was mostly occupied by the love she already felt for her unborn child and its father. Adam. He was such a sweet man. They’d been married for almost two years after one year of being together. She’d never felt happier.

As much as she hated to think of her time with Duo, she could not help but compare how she felt then and how she felt now. She was so much happier now. Granted that those had been times of war and nobody who had lived through what they had could live contently, but she thought she had been happy with Duo. But she hadn’t been. It was all an illusion that had been wiped away by his leaving.

It had taken her a whole year after he’d left to go out on a date. Her first date had been Adam. They’d been inseparable since then. Even in those happy times the memory of Duo was still fresh and almost every time she thought about him she would cry. She would feel the pain even after months of being with Adam. She lost her calm and cool exterior at the mere thought of Duo. Her smile would fade and she’d want to lock herself in her room and never come out. Back then, the mere thought of him made her world crumble, her soul shatter into a million pieces. All she wanted was to die.

But that was a long time ago. Four years to be exact. Three years of Adam’s tenderness and loving attention had healed her broken heart. And she could honestly say she was happy. She didn’t love Duo anymore. And with her acceptance of that fact all the pain that had remained inside her had disappeared, vanished as if by magic. But that hidden, stray little thought managed to find its way to her at times. She could never and would never forget Duo, it was impossible, like trying to turn lead into gold, but she refused to let her memories take over her life again. She had let them and her self-pity control her life for one whole year and she would never go back to that.

Adam’s arrival in her life had been like a gift from God. She was so thankful she’d found him. She didn’t know what would have come of her if he hadn’t come into her life. He was her perfect match and she would not trade him for anything in the world. If, somehow, it was possible for her to go back in time and stop Duo from leaving she wouldn’t. She loved Adam with all of her heart and he loved her. Duo had never loved her this way. He never could have loved her this way. Why else would he leave her without an explanation? Why else would he disregard her feelings for him like he did? The truth was that she didn’t blame him for anything. She knew that she would never have found Adam if Duo hadn’t left her, but the distant memory of her pain before Adam was still a reminder of what the God of Death could do to you if you let him. Her love for him had almost killed her and Adam’s love had brought back feelings long-thought dead.

There was no more pain for her with Adam. He would never hurt her, would never leave her. If she never saw Duo again it would be too soon. She would never be ready to face him. She had feelings of regret towards him, but she didn’t think she was capable of forgiveness in that scale. Her crushed her as easily as he could crush a flower in his fist. And Adam made her feel so alive, so much like an equal to him. She had never felt like that with Duo. She always felt that she was in his shadow. But even then she had been content to be his shadow. To follow him wherever he went and wherever he might go.

She felt like herself again. And there was no better feeling.

The End

AN: *shrugs* Just a little something I thought up. Something to break up the monotony of just being at home or at school. This can be a stand alone fic but I think it fits better as a small follow up fic for