To Share Your Presence

By Oyuki

Chapter 4

“Are you still mad at Duo?” asked Relena. The argument had been over a week ago and neither Hilde nor Duo would budge and talk to the other.

At that moment they were sitting in their living room watching some cartoons and trying to study for their AP English test, which would determine one third of their whole grade for the first semester of the year. Relena was sitting on one of the three couches and Hilde was sprawled out on the floor with her elbows resting on a large pillow.

“Yes, I’m still mad at Duo,” Hilde said without looking up from her poetry book.

Relena sighed. “Are you going to be mad till next week?”

Again, without looking up from her poetry book Hilde said, “Yes, till next week.”

“Is he still you’re other best friend. The one you had before me, your real, real best friend?” she asked in an attempt to gain any reaction from Hilde.

Hilde still didn’t look up, but she did say, “What are you talking about? You’re my best friend.”

Relena sighed again. It wasn’t the answer she was fishing for! “But he was your best friend first. So he’s your best friend and I’m your other best friend, remember?”

This time Hilde did react. She closed her poetry book with a little too much force, stood up from her position on the floor and glared at Relena. “Relena, you’re the only best friend I need. Duo doesn’t need me to be his best friend anymore. He’s got Adriana! He doesn’t need ME to hang out with in his spare time, he’s got a girlfriend to fuck instead!” She crossed her arms and frowned.

“So... you’re still mad at him?” Relena asked in a small and timid voice.

“What are you getting at, Relena? I don’t care about Duo or his stupid girlfriend. I don’t care that they make out in public! I don’t care that everybody knows they slept together when she still had a boyfriend and while she was trying to bag my boyfriend! I don’t care that she’s not right for him at all! I DON’T CARE ABOUT DUO!” she shouted at her.

Relena opened her mouth to say something but Hilde reacted first.

“I’ve given up on him. I understand now, I know now, that he will never be attracted to a person like me. I’m not the type of girl he likes. I don’t have long legs, I don’t have the hair! I don’t wear the make-up or the cute clothes! Yes, Relena, I got that! You don’t have to bring any of this up anymore! I’ve moved on with my life! And now I’m with someone who cares about me as a person, who doesn’t see what others see when they look at me! And he’s super hot! I don’t give a fuck about what other people think! So now, if you please, let us not speak another word about this! Stop bringing Duo INTO THIS CONVERSATION!” Hilde was panting by the time she finished talking, but her eyes burned into Relena.

Relena didn’t want to set her off again so she sat further into her seat and whispered, “Okay.”

Taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, Hilde sprawled out on the floor again and began reading her poetry book again. But as soon as she got her concentration back, someone burst in the door. Hilde all but growled at the person standing directly above her. “What?” she spat out.

“Hilde, we need to talk!” said Duo hurriedly. He was supposed to meet Adriana in ten minutes, but he really needed to talk to Hilde so he took the opportunity. “Can we go somewhere, I only have about ten minutes till I have to meet Adriana?”

“Oh, so our conversation isn’t that important then? It’ll only take ten minutes? Well if that’s the case then I don’t want to talk at all, Maxwell,” Hilde said standing up to him. He was much taller, but with all the hot anger radiating from her, she still intimidated him.

“Hilde, come on,” he begged her. “This isn’t like you, you’re being bitchy,” he whined.

“Oh yes, Duo. This is just like me, it’s just that you’ve never seen me as what I am... a girl. And girls are bitchy!” she said closing her eyes as assurance.

He looked at Relena hopelessly and she smiled at him while nodding her head. She went back to her book and tried to pretend she couldn’t hear them. She looked back at them startled when she heard Hilde’s screams. What she saw made her blue eyes widen and her pretty mouth turn up in a smile.

“What are you doing? Lemme go!” she yelled at the top of her lungs. What Relena saw was Duo swinging Hilde over his shoulder and walking way from her up the stairs. “Lemme go, Maxwell or you’re going to regret having such long hair because I’m gonna hang you with it!” Hilde screamed while pounding on his back.

‘How barbaric,’ Relena thought. She smiled wider.

“Come on Hilde!” he shouted as he headed up the stairs up to her bedroom. Once there, he opened her door and kicked it closed. He sat her on her bed and glared at her. His nostrils flared and his violet eyes flashed with anger.

Hilde glared back. “Just what is it you want, Maxwell?” she asked angrily. She stood up and looked up at him crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Duo sighed. She’d called him Maxwell for the third time, that meant she was really pissed off at him. This was going to be more difficult than he’d first thought. “Hilde, I just want to talk. Can’t I talk to my best friend without having to kidnap her? I want to talk, you know like we used to; it’s been so long since we’ve talked and I find myself asking why? Why Hilde?”

Hilde looked straight into his eyes. “I think you should be asking yourself this question, Duo, not me. I’ve tried to talk to you, to hang out with you, but unlike you I don’t ask why. I know why!” she said.

“Then tell me why?” he shouted.

“I think you can answer that question yourself! Who is it that doesn’t have time for his friend anymore? It isn’t me! It’s you, Duo! You!”

“Me?” he asked incredulously. “How can you say that?”

“Yes you! Since you started seeing Adrian you never have time for me anymore! You spend every minute of every day with her, but I understand! She’s your girlfriend, you should spend time with her! But that doesn’t give you an excuse to ignore me since junior year and come waltzing in and tell me that I’m the one that’s not making any efforts to hang out! I always ask you to do something but you never have time! Last month I asked you to go to the soccer game with me, you said yes but then you flaked that day and left me waiting the whole fucking day for you!”

“But--”

“And I still forgave you! And two months ago I asked if you would help me with my physics project and you said yes, but didn’t show up to any of the scheduled ‘help sessions’! Don’t try to make me feel bad when it’s you that isn’t making any efforts to spend time with his best friend!”

“I’m sorry Hilde but--”

“No more excuses, Duo! If you don’t want to be my friend anymore then just tell me! Don’t hide behind the fact that your girlfriend doesn’t like me! And I just know that that’s the reason why you don’t want to be my friend anymore because Adriana hates me--”

Before she could finish Duo walked closer to her and placed his hand on her mouth, successfully shutting her up. “Would you just let me talk for a minute?” he said to her. She glared daggers at him but nodded her head and he took his hand from her mouth.

“Okay, this shouting isn’t getting us anywhere. Let’s try something okay?”

“Fine. What do you suggest we do that will prevent us from doing any shouting?” she asked sharply.

“I’ll ask a question, then you answer, then you ask a question and I answer. Is that okay?” he asked calmly. This wasn’t going like he’d planned.

“Okay, it’s fine. Ask away, Duo.”

“All right, my question is why are you acting strange with me?”

“Strange? Specify,” she said not looking at him. He could clearly see that she was pouting and it brought a smile to his lips. She was angry, there was nothing better than having an angry Hilde.

“You get a boyfriend and you don’t tell me, and when I find out that you have a boyfriend you don’t want to tell me his name!” he said.

Hilde took a deep breath and let it go. “I didn’t think you’d care, simple as that. You had been ignoring me for the last few months and whenever I tried to talk to you, you’d either leave or Adriana would come and put her tongue so far down your throat that you were unable to utter anything intelligent,” Hilde said crossing her arms again. She had turned her back on Duo, she didn’t want Duo to see her raging emotions. She was hurt, badly. It hurt so much when he just ignored her and left her waiting for him like an idiot.

He couldn’t see the anger and hurt in her eyes, but he heard it in her voice. It didn’t quiver or anything, but he could hear it. It was something he had learned to do from all the years he’d known her... since they were born. Their mothers had been friends and had been pregnant at the same time. “I’m sorry, Hilde.”

She sighed again, well aware that it was her turn to ask a question. “Why have you been acting strangely around me for he last nine months, Duo?” she asked quietly. She already knew that answer, but she needed to hear that it wasn’t just Adriana that had torn them apart. She needed to hear that he did care... about that.

“I think we both know the answer to that,” he said looking down at his shoes. He had not gotten the courage to talk to her about... that... since it had happened.

“I want to hear YOUR answer,” she said impatiently.

“Adriana told me,” he said simply.

“Elaborate Duo!”

He hesitated. He didn’t know if he could say this to her. He’d been trying to psyche himself up for this for the last nine months. “I didn’t know how to react to the news, Hilde. You had always been my best friend, and hearing that you... had feelings for me... I didn’t know how to handle that. And the way that Adriana told me... well you get it, right?”

“Yeah, I get it,” she said. “Your turn.”

He looked at her, afraid to ask his next question. “Are you still in love with me?” he asked.

Hilde scoffed. “You had do ask that!” she said loudly. “Does it matter anymore, Duo? You obviously don’t feel the same way,” she said but soon regretted the way she’d phrased the answer.

“Hilde I--”

“Don’t say anything, Duo. I’m trying to move on. I’m trying to find someone who feels the same way that I do.”

Duo moved towards her and embraced her. It had been too long since he’d held her like that. He loved the way she smelled, the way she put her head on his shoulder despite their height difference. He felt an overwhelming need to just hold her and resisted the his need to kiss her.

“You wanna go watch a movie with me?” he asked her. She nodded.

*~*~*~*

Downstairs, Relena looked at her watch. They had been up there for more than half an hour and she’d heard Duo say he had to meet Adriana in ten minutes. She smiled. “Ah... young love,” she said to the empty house. A wicked smiled touched her lips. “Adriana’s going to be pissed...”

Chapter 5

Hilde and Duo walked home later that night. They both had an early morning class so they had to get home early. Duo chewed his lip lightly, deep in thought. Too late he had remembered that he had a date with Adriana, but he couldn’t tell Hilde that they couldn’t go out to watch the movie. They had been discussing the fact that he’d flaked on her so many times that he had decided to flake on Adriana. She would understand... he hoped. He looked at Hilde who walked behind him, also lost in her own thoughts.

She sensed his gaze on her and turned to look at him. She smiled brightly at him. “What are you thinking about?” she asked him.

He was going to tell her the truth, that his thoughts lingered on Adriana, but he thought better of it. “Nothing,” he said smoothly. “You?”

She hesitated a little. “Duo, is Adriana keeping us apart?” she asked quietly.

“Hilde... I like--” he started but she interrupted.

“No, not romantically apart. Is she creating a gulf between us? Is she the reason you don’t want to be my friend anymore?”

“I thought we already had this conversation, Hilde. I would hate myself for the rest of my life if I let you go! You’re my best friend...” he said quietly. He never wanted to lose her, she was a very important part of his life. She had been his constant companion since birth almost. He could admit to himself that he couldn’t live without her in his life.

She hugged him. “You’re my best friend too,” she said into his shirt. She wished she could do more than just hug him. She wished she could kiss him, even if just once, just to see what his lips felt like... tasted like. But she couldn’t do it. As much as she hated Adriana, she would never try to take her boyfriend from her in that manner. That was her style, not Hilde’s. And she had Ryan... even if their relationship depended on her and Duo getting together, she still had her loyalty. If Duo wanted to be with her, then he had to tell her, that would be the only way she would ever allow herself to kiss him even if he was technically still with Adriana. He already know her feelings now she had to know his. That is, if he had any feelings towards her.

That was Hilde, loyal to a fault.

They let go of each other, too engulfed in their own thoughts to actually know just how long they had been in each other’s arms. They started to walk home again.

‘There’s no better time to approach the subject,’ thought Duo. “Hilde, about Ryan,” he said aloud. He heard her sigh.

“What about Ryan?” she asked him patiently.

Duo searched for the right words. He had to choose them carefully, she had a volatile temper, just like he did. “He’s not right for you, Hilde,” he said gently.

Both of them once again stopping so they could speak, but this time they found a bench to sit on. The parks were safe to walk in at night in New Horizon Preparatory, the ‘parents’ kept them safe with no criminal. To actually get to attend Freedom Preparatory your parents had to have money and the ‘parents’ did made sure you were not a criminal.

Hilde shook her head. “You can’t tell me that and expect me to listen! Why would he not be right for me?” she asked raising her voice.

“Because he has the reputation of a male slut, Hilde! That’s why!” he said loudly.

“And so do you! You have no room to talk!”

“Hilde, he’s just not your type. You’re... you’re just not like him. You’re innocent and naive and you don’t know anything about guys,” Duo said calming down. He knew that if he started shouting she would never listen.

“You think I’m that stupid? And how else am I supposed to learn about guys if I don’t go out there in the world get to know a few, maybe even fuck a few of them, Duo! This has nothing to do with you.”

“If you’re doing this because you think that you have to prove yourself to someone then you’re making a big mistake.”

Hilde glared at him. She HAD started this to prove something, but she was doing it to prove something to herself. Not Duo, and certainly not Ryan! “I have nothing to prove to anybody, Duo. And you have no right to question my actions, either. If I want to fuck Ryan, then it’s my prerogative! I can go around school and screw every guy I lay my eyes on and you wouldn’t have a say in it!” she said dangerously.

“I’m just worried about you, Hilde! I’m afraid that Ryan is going to break your heart and that you’re just too damn naive to see that! He has a lot of girls, I assure you that you’re not his only girl right now! You’re just a convinient fuck to him!” he shouted and soon shut his mouth. He knew what was coming next.

Hilde’s mouth formed an O of surprise. “How dare you say that to me?” she said and lunged herself at him. Her right fist caught him square in the eye and her left one in the stomach. Duo stood there holding his stomach. He’d anticipated a slap, not a beating! But what came next erased all thoughts from his mind and took all the air out if his lungs. It brought him to his knees. It brought tears to his eyes.

Hilde had kicked him in the balls... hard.

“Ow,” he said very, very quietly.

She stood over his bowed form, her nostrils flared and she was breathing hard. “You fucking bastard. I’m going to forgive you for that, but if you ever, EVER say something like that to me ever again, I won’t hesitate to kick you in the balls again. And not just once, Duo, but many, many, many times. I’ll kick you so fucking hard that your doctor will have to perform a surgery in order to look for your balls! Did you hear me?” she asked angrily.

Heero was still clutching his crotch on the ground. His knees were touching the pavement and so was his cheek. He didn’t respond. He just kneeled there. “Mm hmm,” he mumbled.

“Remember that if you want to see little Duos running around sometime in the future!” she hissed and walked away.

*~*~*~*

Adrian sat on her couch with an ugly scowl on her pretty face. That asshole had never shown up. He had stood her up! But she was going to make his life hell if he had blown her off for his buddies. She would have justice! Nobody, but nobody stood her up! Especially not male slut Duo Maxwell!

“You better have a good excuse, Maxwell,” she said under her breath. She didn’t particularly care about Duo. She was just with him because he was the hottest guy in school and every girl in her right mind wanted a piece of him. She especially wanted him because Hilde had wanted him. And she hated Hilde. And Duo was good, convenient fuck...

“I would do anything to keep him away from Hilde,” she mumbled.

*~*~*~*

Duo finally got his strength back and stood up rubbing his balls lovingly. “You okay, boys?” he asked looking down at them. “Ow,” he said again. “I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t think we deserved THAT! I know I hurt her feelings, but she didn’t have to kick me quite so hard,” he said to the empty street.

He finally let his balls rest and touched his face. He was going to have a black eye tomorrow, and his stomach was going to be sore. “Damn it, Hilde, why’d you have to hit so hard?” he asked.

She was right, though. He had no right to say what he’d said. But the thought of her with Ryan didn’t sit well with him. He couldn’t fathom Hilde as the kinky girl Ryan had talked about before they had all found out it was Hilde. She was sweet, innocent, naive, and she didn’t hit like a girl...

He guessed it came from growing up with so many older brothers and a boy for a best friend. He smiled as he remembered she always did what her brothers did. She never wanted to be left behind even if she was the runt of the family. And she always did things better then all of them too.

She was his best friend, and he’d be damned if he lost her to some other guy. She deserves so much better than Ryan.

He dusted himself off and limped his way back home. His pride was hurt, and so were his balls.

When he walked into his house he scowled. There was Ryan sitting on the couch, with Hilde on his lap. Her head was bowed and her faced was covered by her bangs, Ryan was laughing at something. Duo slammed the door to get their attention.

Hilde lifted her head and glared at him. “Back for more?” she growled.

Ryan took one look at him and burst into a fit of hysterical laughter.

“Yeah, yeah,” Duo said. “I’d like to see how you look when she kicks you in the balls!”

Chapter Six

“That’s hilarious, Hilde! Oh I wish I could have been there! You kicked him in the nuts!” said Ryan before bursting into a fit of laughter all over again. He was lying on his bed and Hilde was typing away at his computer. “Baby, you’re so unpredictable,” he said. He got up from the bed and walked over to her, placing a kiss on her neck.

Hilde looked up at him. She smiled despite herself. “It WAS pretty funny,” she said, emphasizing the ‘was’. “But he pissed me off! He seriously hurt my feelings, Ryan.”

Ryan looked at her with concern. All she had told him last night was that she’d fought with Duo in the park and that she’d gotten a little violent with him. “What did he say?”

Hilde took a deep breath and then let if out in a big gush. “He said that I was just a convenient fuck to you,” Hilde said looking at his face.

She wasn’t expecting his reaction. One minute he was staring at her with shock on his handsome face, the next he was out of the room in a rage. “Ryan? Ryan! Ryan come back!” she shouted as she ran after him. “Ryan, come back!”

Ryan headed to Duo’s room. The door was partially open so Ryan kicked it open all the way. Duo was reading his literature book on the couch. He looked up when his door was kicked open. “Dude, what’s up with you?” he asked frowning.

Ryan walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, forcing him to stand up. “You’re a fucking ass hole!” he shouted.

“What the hell are you talking about, Ryan?” Duo asked taking Ryan’s hands off his collar and roughly pushing him away.

Ryan was breathing hard. “You had no fucking right to say what you did to Hilde!” he shouted. He swung a fist at Duo, but he dodged. Ryan wasn’t done though and with his other fist he punched Duo in the stomach.

The air was knocked out of his lungs, but this time Duo could retaliate against his offender. He quickly regained his oxygen and lunged at Ryan. Both boys fell to the floor and wrestled for dominance.

And that is how Hilde found them. She had followed the shouting. “Heero! Quatre!” she shouted at the other occupants of the house. “Stop it, Ryan! Duo! Stop it!” she yelled at them.

“The hell’s going on?” asked Heero Yuy behind her. “What did Duo do this time?” he asked.

“What’s going on?” asked Quatre behind both of them. His hair was damp as if he’d just gotten out of the shower.

“Duo and Ryan are fighting,” said Heero matter-of-factly.

Hilde stared from one to the other. Both young men just looked on as their two roommates wrestled on the floor. Hilde was speechless. “A little help would be nice?” she asked angrily.

Quatre and Heero walked into the room reluctantly, a little miffed that Hilde wouldn’t let them enjoy the fight a little longer. They would have stopped it eventually.

Heero grabbed Ryan and Quatre went for Duo. Ryan’s eye was definitely black and his bottom lip was split. Hilde walked to him and rolled her eyes. “What were you thinking?”

Heero was struggling a bit with holding Ryan back. He was out for blood. No one, no one said that about Hilde. They could talk shit about him all they wanted, but he was not going to allow Duo to say anything bad about his girlfriend. They may not be emotionally attached but she was still his girlfriend. He tried to shrug Heero off but he had a firm grip.

Duo was a little more calm. He was still breathing hard but was struggling less against Quatre’s hold in him. But he really wanted to kick the shit out of Ryan. He’d wanted to since leering that he was going out with Hilde. “Alright, let me go Quatre,” he said.

“What the hell is all of this about?” asked Heero letting go of Ryan. He looked down at Hilde. She rolled her eyes at him, her lips set in a thin line. She was very obviously angry.

“It’s nothing,” Ryan headed to the door. Hilde ran after him.

Tbc…