AN & Disclaimer: I don’t own anything,
not even the idea for this story!!! Okay so here is the next chapter. WARNINGS:
slight language, out of characer, and slight AU! You’ve been warned.
Three hours later they were on their way to Earth with Hilde on one of the four
beds. It would be a long trip, so Dr. Rayo had thought it would be much better
if Hilde slept most of the way there. It would surprise her a great deal to
know that she was on Earth, but it was better that way.
Hilde felt warm, warm and comfortable. She had a soft bed and soft sheets to
cover her. ‘Must be one of my better dreams,’ she thought. She stretched and
opened her eyes to a strange ceiling. It was metal and had strange lights she
had never seen. She raised her right hand to rub her eyes but she noticed there
was a needle stuck to her hand with tape. She followed the tube that was
attached to the needle on her hand only to find that it was attached to a bag
of blood, the kinds that the nurses put your blood in when you donate.
Hilde blinked her eyes a few more times until her vision was a little more
clear. She still felt drowsy and she knew that if she closed her eyes she could
fall asleep. Maybe if she fell asleep again, when she woke up she would be in
her cell again. Yes, this must be a dream, a very real dream. Maybe all the
time in the prison had finally gotten to her, she’d finally snapped and she’d
been placed in the mental facility of the colony.
When Hilde was about to fall asleep again she saw an all too familiar face. She
tried to open her eyes, to blink them into clearness but sleep refused to let
her go. It had her in its grasp and would not give up until it claimed her
again. As much as she wanted to find out why the face had appeared in front of
her she could not fight the pull of dreams. She closed her eyes and promptly
fell asleep again.
“Is she still asleep, Duo?” asked Sally from the bed across from Hilde’s. They
took turns sleeping, piloting the shuttle, and watching Hilde because Dr. Rayo
had told them that sometimes Hilde had nightmares. It had taken some convincing
from Sally and Heero to make Duo sleep for a couple of hours since he didn’t
want to leave Hilde alone. Sally had explained that it would serve no purpose
for him to stay with her for a long period of time since she was asleep, but
Duo insisted. Now it was time for Sally to watch Hilde and for Duo to sleep.
“She opened her eyes for a second and looked at me, but she fell back asleep,”
he answered.
“It’s the medication and the fever. Her temperature finally went down but when
we reach earth she may need to be admitted into a hospital. Her anemia could
become even more serious than it is now, though I think it can be controlled.”
For a strange reason, Heero had not wanted to watch over Hilde while she slept.
Sally thought it was because he’d had a death wish for Hilde. The man had
wanted to kill her himself. Sally would bet anything that Heero had wished
Hilde had been given the death penalty for trying to kill Relena. She hadn’t
though because she was only seventeen at the time. “Duo, go relieve Heero. He
needs to sleep too and we still have a hours to go before we reach earth.”
Duo was ready to argue when he saw Sally’s face; the face that said ‘do it or
else’. “Yeah, okay,” was all he said.
Duo walked to the cockpit and tapped Heero on the shoulder before saying, “Boss
lady Sally told me to tell you to go get some sleep.”
“Fine,” growled Heero. They both knew it was useless to argue with Sally. It
wasn’t surprising since she was the only one that could put up with Wufei. She
even went as far as to agree to marry him! Heero shuddered and walked to where
Sally was putting something into the needle that went into Hilde’s hand.
“What’s that?” asked from behind her, making Sally jump in the process.
“I need her to wake up for a little while. If I tell her what’s going on before
we reach Earth she’ll have more time to get use to it. And I want to see if she
can keep some food down. Her anemia is serious, we don’t want it to get worse.”
“You have her medical records from the prison?”
Sally frowned and asked, “Yes, why?”
“I just want to know if she had been sick or something. Isn’t it a little
strange how they didn’t run any tests on her? I mean she was there for five
years, I’m sure she got sick sometime during all that time,” he explained.
“Actually, Hilde had been in the infirmary a few times, but it wasn’t due to
any illnesses,” Sally said quietly. “I didn’t want to tell Duo this but Hilde
was raped, and it wasn’t just once.”
Heero shook his head. He just know something like that would’ve happened. His
face paled and he closed his eyes. He ran both his hands through his unruly
chocolate brown hair and sighed. Hilde was probably going to need psychological
help after this, how were they going to tell Duo? “He’s going to find out
sooner or later,” he stated.
“I know. I feel sorry for him. He went through such bad times when she was
arrested, and he felt horrible a few months later. He used to tell me that he
should have seen it coming. He used to ask himself how he could have trusted
someone like Hilde; and now that she is free he feels like shit for testifying
against her and having all of those bad thoughts about her.”
Heero was about to say something else but they both heard, rather than saw,
Hilde stirring. She shook her head and tried to get out of the bed. Her
breathing became shallow and the screen monitoring her heart showed that her
heart rate and blood pressure were rising.
“I think it’s a nightmare,” Sally said turning away from Heero. “Hilde,” she
said to the younger woman. “Hilde, wake up. Wake up!” she ordered.
“No! No, no, no, no leave me alone! Don’t ’ touch me! Don’t touch me!” screamed
Hilde at the top of her lungs. She was thrashing wildly on the bed, her
flailing arms almost hitting Sally, who was trying to keep her on the bed. The
screaming and the moving just got worse when Sally tried to restrain Hilde. She
fought even more to get away from the arms that held her. “Please, please let
me go,” Hilde said in a softer voice.
“Hilde, nobody is going to hurt you. You’re on a shuttle heading to Earth.
Nobody is going to hurt you here. Hilde did you hear me?”
Hilde stopped struggling and tried to calm her breath. She opened her eyes to
see Sally looking down at her. She was on a strange bed with Sally looking at
her. She sat up and took in everything she could about the place she was in.
Sally still had her hands on her shoulders so Hilde shrugged them off. Physical
contact was something that made her uncomfortable. She rubbed her eyes with one
hand and asked, “Where am I?”
“On a shuttle to Earth--”
“Why?” she said before Sally finished talking.
“You were found innocent--”
“How? When?” she interrupted again.
“Just let me finish telling you okay? Okay, somebody place a letter and a video
in Duo’s house. The letter wasn’t signed and we don’t know who send it, but the
most important part was the video. It was the security tape from your old
house. It was a copy of the original, but it contained what happened to you and
Relena. That is how we found out you were innocent. We came to get you as soon
as we could. Somebody framed you, Hilde,” Sally finished and looked at her.
Hilde didn’t even bat an eyelash. ‘Obviously somebody was trying to frame me, I
may not remember what happened but I know I didn’t do it. I didn’t try to kill
Relena,’ Hilde thought. Out loud she said, “Where are we going?”
“To Earth,” Sally answered.
“To Earth where? I don’t have anywhere to stay.”
“We will all be staying in one of Relena’s mansions. The people who did this
are obviously going to strike again, and soon. We have to be alert, and in
order to protect Relena, and you,” she added quickly before saying, “we have to
have you with us 24/7.”
“I don’t want to stay with any of you! I want nothing to do with any of you!”
Hilde replied harshly.
“We are only trying to keep you safe Hilde.”
“No, you’re just trying to keep Relena safe and trying to make yourselves feel
better by keeping me there saying you’re trying to protect me! In the prison, I
learned that you can't trust everybody, and I don’t trust you!” she said
getting up from the bed. She got dizzy but it soon passed and she asked where
the shower was.
“They bathed you in the hospital before we left, Hilde,” said Sally.
Hilde turned and glared at her. “Well, they didn’t do a very good job because I
still feel dirty.” With that she turned around in the direction Sally had
pointed and slammed the door of one of the two bathrooms. With her back resting
on the door she slid to the floor. She covered her face with her hands and took
deep steadying breaths.
Hilde started thinking about what had taken place in the last few years of her
life up to a few hours ago. First she is left an orphan by a war, that same war
made her a child soldier. As a soldier she met a wonderful boy who made a
little sense in all of that chaos the war had caused in her life. This same boy
later asked her to move in with him. When the war ended they found they cared
for each other and became something more than friends. Sure, everybody thought
they were crazy because they were living together at sixteen, but she hadn’t
cared, and neither had Duo. When everything was finally looking up someone had
decided to take it all away from her! Someone whom she didn’t know, someone who
didn’t know her either.
She's accused of trying to kill her best friend, and all of the people she
thought were her friends turned their backs on her. The boy-- no the man-- she
thought she could trust with her life didn’t trust her in return. He’d looked
upon her with contempt in a courtroom full of people who wanted her dead. He
sat in the witness’ stand damning her for something she didn’t do, for
something she would never be capable of doing.
For the first few months after she arrived at the prison she’d thought that
they were going to discover new evidence to free her. She used to cry each
night hoping that when daylight came there would be news about her case. As
more and more days passed the little flickering flame of hope she’d held in her
heart began to blow out. Suddenly it wasn’t just days that went by, it was
weeks, months, and finally years. By the middle of her second year Hilde, more
or less, knew she was going to end her days in the damp stinky prison. Her
flame of hope had died and nothing could rekindle it. Then her hell began. What
is even worse than being a secluded colony made precisely for cold-blooded
killers for something you didn’t do? Being raped by guards who thought you were
bellow them! Guards who thought you were put on this ‘earth’ for their pleasure
and nothing else.
Through all of that there had only been one person who truly believed in her
and that could comfort her. Moira. The only other female on the god-forsake
prison. She was five years older than Hilde and when Hilde arrived she had been
the there for four years. She had been just as young as Hilde when she arrived
there. And there had only been one difference between then. One difference
which Hilde learned to ignore after a few months. The difference between them
was that Moira was guilty of committing horrible crime after horrible crime.
She had killed, she had stolen... God what hadn’t Moira done? She had done
every dirty deed you could think of, and there she was comforting a lonely
teenager who had nothing left in her life, not even hope.
But that was all over, Moira had the infection, the damned infection that
doctors knew nothing about, had killed her. Hilde had woken up to find herself
alone in her cell one night. Hours later she had been called to the infirmary
to say her last good-byes to her only true friend. Afterwards, Hilde had wanted
to die. How was she going to survive without Moira’s advice, without her help?
‘Moira, in the short time I knew you, you were my only true friend? In the last
few hours I don’t know how many times I’ve wished that I hadn’t been found
innocent. The uncertainty of what I will face in this not-too-distant future is
killing me, and I don’t know how I will handle this,’ she thought.
Hilde stood up and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. She turned on
the water and adjusted the temperature to her liking. It had been so long since
a real shower. In the prison they were only allowed to take two showers a week
because they needed to save water. The spray of hot water made her wince a little,
she wasn’t used to hot showers anymore, but it would feel so good to be clean
again... if only in one way.
*~*~*~*
Heero, who had remained silent during Hilde’ss and Sally’s little conversation,
stared at Sally. “I don’t think that went very well,” he informed Sally.
“You think?” she asked sarcastically. “She thinks we betrayed her--”
“And didn’t we? We all accused her of something she didn’t do and we expect her
to be nice to us just because we got her out of that prison? That’s a stupid
way to think!”
“I know, Heero, and she’s right. We aren’t even thinking about what she wants
to do. We made all of these decisions for her and we didn’t consider how she
would react to living with us. We didn’t think about what she thinks of us!”
“I think that she’ll get over it. She’s right in wanting nothing to do with us,
but when she sees that we are keeping her safe she’ll get over it. She has to,”
he added more to himself than to Sally.
“I hope you’re right. Or else we’re going to have more problems in our hands
than we can handle.” Sally sighed and added, “Get some sleep. I’ll keep watch
over Hilde and then I’ll go relieve Duo.”
*~*~*~*
Hours later they were in one of the spaceports of San Francisco, California.
They would be staying in a secluded mansion near there belonging to Relena.
Hilde had said pretty much nothing the rest of the way there. She had eaten a
little, her organism once again getting used to receiving larger amounts of
food than the ones she received in the colony. She had refused to talk to Duo
more than it was necessary, Heero had said nothing to her, and Sally tried to
talk to her but Hilde only answered yes or no when it was necessary. All in
all, it had not been a very pleasant trip. A whole day in a shuttle where the
tension could be cut with a knife.
As they exited from the shuttle, Hilde turned once again to Sally and said, “I
told you before that I don’t want to stay with you people. I just need some
money to stay in a hotel until I can find a job and I’ll go on from there.” there
was an awkward pause before she said, “I’ll pay you back when I can.” She could
not stay with them. These people had hurt her, they had betrayed her, turned
their backs on her and now they expected her to live with them for an uncertain
period of time? There was no way in hell she was going to do that.
“Hilde, we just want to keep you safe. We all know you don’t like us at the
moment, but it’s for your own safety,” said Duo patiently. Now that she was
back he wasn’t going to stand back and let her go because he knew that if it
was left up to her she would make sure she never saw any of them again.
“Don’t like you at the moment?” she asked incredulously. “At the moment I more
than dislike you! I hate you, I despise all of you!”
“Don’t be rash, Hilde. You might regret your words later, and you’re making a
scene!” whispered Sally harshly.
Hilde got the message but did not calm down. She whispered, “I will not regret
my words. I mean them! I don’t want to stay with any of you! And if you don’t
give me money I’ll just live on the streets, it’s not like I haven’t done so
before, and I doubt it is worse than spending five years in a prison with
millions of men and only one other woman! Believe me, I know how to take care
of myself.”
Heero’s eyes narrowed. He’d had enough of her arguing. All he wanted to do was
go home and see his girlfriend and Hilde was making it hard on all of them. He
put his hand on her arm harshly and dragged her out while saying, “Listen, you
can decide what to do when we get home. Until then would you please be quiet.”
“No, I will not be quiet! And don’t touch me!” she yelled as she pried her arm
from his strong grip.
Duo chose that moment to speak again. He pleaded with his eyes while saying,
“Please, Heero is right. When we get home you can decide what to do. Just go
with us, everyone is waiting there.”
“This isn’t some happy reunion, Duo. I don’t care if you are all sorry about
what happened. I will never forgive you, any of you.!”
“Hilde, if you don’t do what we tell you to then I will be forced to drug you,
and believe me, I will not hesitate. I will drag you outside to the cars myself
if need be,” said Sally looking directly into her eyes. ‘She grew taller,’
Sally mused in her mind. ‘Aside from being so thin and looking so tired she
looks like a grown woman.’
“Fine,” Hilde growled as she flipped her long hair from her shoulder onto her
back. It had grown so much during the last five years. It was the only good
thing that had come out of that place she’d been in for so long. It was almost
mid-back. All four of them walked out of the spaceport onto the parking lot.
They rode on two different cars since Duo and Heero had arrived in one car and
Sally had arrived in her own car. Duo and Heero rode in Heero’s car while Sally
and Hilde rode in Sally’s car. In the passenger seat Hilde stared out the
window at what she could see of the passing scenery in the darkness of night.
“I bet it feels good to be back home and in your own clothes, huh?” asked Sally
quickly glancing from Hilde back to the dark road.
All Hilde wanted to do was ignore her, but since she’d asked a very direct
question she had to answer. Without looking at her Hilde said, “These aren’t my
clothes, and I’m not going home.”
“I know, I just meant that... that you must feel good not to be in that
horrible place anymore,” said Sally quickly. She should have known better than
to try to say something nice. She would never be the same person she was before
this, Hilde had lost her sweet nature... they had destroyed it. They all felt
extremely guilty over all of this and all they were trying to do was make it up
to her, but she wasn’t making it easy.
The four people in the two cars rode in silence, but Duo’s and Heero’s was of a
different nature. They both thought about their part in Hilde’s ‘sentence’.
The two cars finally reached the mansion forty-five minutes later. Sally got
out of the car and went to the back of the car for her bag of luggage, which
consisted of only one bag. Hilde reluctantly got out of the car. When she had
closed the door she looked up at the top floors of the lighted mansion. It was
huge, like out of dream. “Too bad I won’t enjoy my stay here,” she whispered.
“Hurry up Hilde!” called Sally from the front door. A butler opened the door
and to Hilde it felt that the doors of hell were opening up to let her in. She
closed her eyes for a second then walked to the door. The bright lights hurt
her eyes. She had not been in a place this luxurious in quite a while. She
didn’t want to be here, but it still took her breath away.
Quatre, Wufei, Trowa, Catherine, and Relena were waiting there. They all smiled
when they saw them. Hilde looked from one face to another. Trowa didn’t say
anything he just looked at her, Quatre gave her a shy smile and looked at her
with tenderness in his eyes. Catherine also looked at her with a small smile,
they had never me. Relena was the worst of them all. She smiled at Hilde
genuinely, with warmth and the look in her eyes was one of someone who had just
seen her best friend after many years. Too bad Hilde couldn’t return the
sentiment. She didn’t want anything to do with her even though she had not been
directly involved with the trial. A part of Hilde couldn’t help but blame her
for what had happened, and another part of her knew that it hadn’t been her
fault. Relena had never wanted to be who she was.
“Welcome home, Hilde,” said Relena coming closer. She enveloped her in a warm
hug, which Hilde didn’t return. She just stood there with her arms at her sides
just waiting for the moment when Relena would let go and she could escape to
the room she knew she had prepared for her.
Relena felt her friend’s reaction to her happiness at seeing her. She had been
so happy when she’d heard the cars outside and when she saw Hilde, that she
thought it would be like old times. She’d thought that Hilde would still care
about her, be her best friend again, but she’d been wrong. When she stepped
away from Hilde she could see the coldness in her eyes... and the lack of the
sparkle that used to be there. She’d lost her innocence and there was no way of
getting it back or making it up to her. She hated them.
“My room?” was all Hilde said to her. Oh God, she felt like crying! How she
wished it could be like it used to. How she wished she could go back in time to
prevent anything of this from happening. ‘It’s too late for that, they can’t
take away the pain they inflicted by turning their backs on me!’ she thought as
Relena led her to the room she had prepared for her.
“Your room is on the same floor as ours; it’s right next to Duo and you have
Quatre on the other side. My room is across from yours,” she said feigning
cheerfulness.
Hilde just muttered a “thank you” before she opened the door to her room and
all but slammed it on Relena’s face before she could say anything else. When
she had closed the door she sighed again and gave free reign to the tears she’d
wanted to shed downstairs. Her cool facade crumbled and she slumped to the
floor on her knees as she walked to the bed. “Why did everything have to turn
out like this? Oh God, you know that I can’t ignore what they did! What they
accused me of!” she whispered. When her tears stopped a few minutes later Hilde
noticed the room she was in. It was very elegant with a four poster king-sized
bed one side. Wide balcony doors on the opposite side, a bathroom across from
the door. She walked around the room looking at the vanity, the TV, the stereo
and in the closet. The closet was a walk in one and it contained clothes in her
size, well the size she used to be. She didn’t know what size she wore anymore
since she had never been given new clothes at the prison. She had been allowed
to take a few items of clothing with her, but that was it. She had chosen to
take two pairs of jeans and two sweatshirts with her; that was the maximum she
could take besides the items she had already been wearing. She walked back to
where the stereo was.
Beside the stereo was a CD holder and she noted that it contained much of the
music Relena knew she used to listen to. She took a CD and put it in the
stereo. She pressed the PLAY button and the opening music filled the room.
Hilde listened to it and softly sang along when the words joined the music.
As soon as Hilde had seen the cover on the case she had recognized it as the
one that contained her favorite song. Listening to it brought memories rushing
back to her. The first time she’d heard it was with Duo. They had been having a
quiet dinner at home one night when the song came on. Hilde didn’t know why she
had like it so much but she just had. The radio had been tuned to an oldies
station and the song came on. The next week Duo had surprised her with the
CD...
Her reverie was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. At first she was a
little startled as to why someone would knock at her door, but then she
remembered where she was. She walked to the door and opened it enough so she
could see outside. She saw Duo standing uncomfortably with his hand raised
ready to knock again.
When he saw her he didn’t say anything. He just looked down at her pale face
with his violet eyes for a few seconds before clearing his throat and saying,
“Uh... dinner is ready. We are waiting for you to come down.”
Hilde considered eating in the dining room with everybody else for about half a
second before she said, “I’m not hungry,” and closed the door on Duo’s face.
*~*~*~*
Duo walked back down the stairs. He was hurt, Hilde hadn’t said more than ten
words to him since they’d arrived at the colony. He knew it was too much to
hope for to have Hilde still love him, but the last thing he lost was hope. He
didn’t know how to apologize to her, he didn’t know what he could do to make
her forgive him. All he knew was that he still loved her, he’d never stopped
loving her and that she had to forgive him. ‘Please Hilde, you have to get pass
this. I know you suffered, but you have to live your life now that you’re not
in prison anymore.’
When he arrived in the dining room all eyes turned to him. “Hilde’s not
hungry,” he said nervously. Nobody had wanted to go get her and he had
volunteered to go. “I-- I think that I’ll have a plate made for her and one for
me and we’ll eat upstairs.”
Duo went into the kitchen and had the cook prepare two plates of dinner. He
came out with a platter filled with food and two bottles of water and some
wine. He climbed the stairs and knocked on Hilde’s door with his foot.
Hilde opened the door a moment later and he said, “I thought we could eat up
here. It will also give us a chance to talk.”
tbc...
AN: Here's the next chapter. It's just as long as the first one. Please review!
It means a lot to me! Thank you.