AN: I've decided that chapters for this fic will be short. I've
decided this because as I was writing this short chapter I found out that I
will be giving a lot of insight into their minds. Of course there will
be a plot… I think. I have to work it out some more but rest assured that they
will talk things through… someday… and they'll come to a decision… maybe…
Disclaimer: Aoshi Shinomori and
Misao Makimachi do not belong to me. They belong to the creative mind of
Nobuhiro Watsuki.
Chapter
Two: Time Cannot Erase
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
My Immortal— by Evanescence
The nightmares never left. They were torture for a
soul as stained as his. Why did they still haunt him? Hadn’t he repented
enough? Hadn’t he lost enough of his soul to them already? Would he have to
lose his sanity as well? He didn’t think it would ever end. This eternal
damnation he was condemned to. Eternal damnation for living, breathing flesh
and bones. If everything was taken from him, that’s all that would be left.
Aoshi scoffed. Everything had already been taken. He was only a man after all.
Man did not attempt to play god without learning that he was not, in fact, god.
Man could never be a god. He was, after all, only flesh and bones. Easily
broken, easily made to bleed.
Aoshi shook his head. Every day he was more and more
convinced that he was in hell.
His mind returned again to Misao. So loving, so
carefree. So innocent to the lust of power, revenge and greed. Could he really
have her? Him, with his bloody, murderous hands? If she were, by any chance, to
become his, would he dare touch her? Would not his hands damn her as they had
damned him? He would taint her. He would rip away her innocence. Could he, in
good conscience, even dare to think that he could ever have her?
But he could, couldn’t he? He could dare to dream? To
hope? To desire? There is no harm in wishing? Is there?
But deep inside, he knew that he wanted her. He
wanted her to be his. To call out his name in passion, to bear the fruit of
that passion. His children. Her children. He wanted it. He wanted it all. He wanted
her. He wanted his salvation. Would he be denied his salvation? Surely no god
could be so cruel as to deny salvation to a repentant sheep.
Yes. He wanted her. And he would do everything in his
power to have her.
*~*~*~*
Misao yawned and stretched in her futon. These were
strange hours to be awake, but she could not bring herself to close her eyes
and sleep. Her mind was too alert for that.
She had often had encounters with Aoshi similar to
the one this afternoon, yet every time she did she could not help but find
herself wanting to let go of her grudge and tell him of her feelings. It was
getting harder and harder to appear indifferent to him. She loved him. Childish
infatuation had somehow turned into adult love.
She had dreams of letting go of everything and
confessing. But each dream would conjure images of her dead clan members and
her resolved would strengthen.
She had to hide her feelings. She had to be
indifferent. She could not betray their memory. She would not betray her
family. She had a duty as a clan member. For them, she would do anything. Even
if it meant locking up her heart in a frozen coffin.
Tbc…
AN: Sorry for the delay and the shortness but *shrugs* Anyway, I don’t think I’ll be able to get another chapter out till August ‘cause I’m going out of the country in a few days and I won’t have time to write. I’ll be back at the end of July, but then I have to start school. But, like I’ve said before, I’ve only ever not finished one fic and it will stay that way. Now, please read and review!