AN: My first and only Outlaw Star fic! This was inspired by Nelly Furtado’s song “Scared of You”. And yes, I do know what the songs says but I don’t want to waste my time or yours by translating it. The title means You Know I Love You or something to that extent.

Disclaimer: I do not own Outlaw Star or any of its characters. They all belong to Sunrise. I also do not own the song “Scared of You” it belongs to Nelly Furtado.

 

Sabes Que Eu Te Adoro

 

I'm sorry I forsake you
I'm sorry that I left you
I'm sorry I did forget you


Gene Starwind stood in front of the large window, gazing out at the stars. He looked at them, but didn't really see them. His mind was occupied by something, someone, else. She had dark raven hair with the sweetest, most beautiful chocolate brown eyes he'd ever seen. She was beautiful, inside and out. She had a beautiful body, a beautiful mind, and, the most beautiful one of all, her heart. He remembered the warm feeling that enveloped him whenever she'd look at him. Her eyes, pinning him to the spot he was standing on.

Gene sighed. It had been a long time since he'd last thought of her. How long, he didn't know, he just knew it may have been at least a couple of years. Memories of warm smiles, of loving glances filled his mind this night. He didn't know why he'd suddenly thought of her, after all, it had been years since had seen her. But no, it wasn't just this night that his mind was filled with her. It had been a long time that these memories had been sneaking up on him. First it was something that reminded him of her name, then some food that reminded him of the way she cooked, then it was certain phrases that he heard people say and they reminded him of her. And now he couldn't take his mind away from her. It had been nine years since he'd last seen her, but tonight it was as if he'd never left her. She seemed so real in his memories that he could almost smell her perfume.

And I'm sorry that I made myself feel better
By making you feel never good enough
I know you'll shine much brighter than I ever could
Maybe that is why I was
Scared of you
And in everything I do I'm still thinking of you
Oh, you
And I know you were scared of me
But every time I tried to love you I just fell through
Too


Gene sighed and hung his head. It was no use thinking of this now; nine years of solitude and pain filled nights. In his mind, he could clearly see her face when he told her he was living. She had been crushed, and she'd showed it.

*flashback*

"Oh, good morning Gene! I've just finished making breakfast for us, sit down and I'll give you a plate," said Mel with her usual cheerfulness. Gene closed his eyes, unable to look directly into hers. "Something wrong?" she asked, her smile faltering a little.

"Mel..." after a long pause he said, "I have to leave. I'm restless here--"

"I'll come with you, I'm sure Jim won't mind staying here with Aisha and Suzuka."

"No, you don't understand. I have to leave here on my own, find my path in life. I'm sorry, Mel. I've been thinking about this for along time and I don't think this is the place for me," he said quietly. The last thing he wanted to do was cause her any pain.

"But Gene... you said you loved me and that--"

He shook his head. Coming closer to her he placed his hands on her shoulders, "Mel, sometimes... sometimes people say things they don't mean in a moment of passion. I mean, we'd just--"

"Gene, don't go... please. Don't leave me now that I've finally found myself! Now that I've finally figured out where I'm supposed to be!" Tears began to pool in her eyes. She tried hard not to let them fall, but she couldn't force them back. Her chin trembled a little and her tears made tracks down her pale cheeks. She placed her arms around him burying her face in the fabric of his shirt.

"Mel...I'm sorry, really I am. I have to go." He forced her arms back to her sides and walked away, out the door.

*end flashback*

Desculpa-me se eu te ofendi
Desculpa-me se eu te esqueci
Desculpa-me se eu te deixei
Eu te deixei


Gene put his face in his hands.
He sighed, there was nothing he could do about it now. He'd lied to her. She'd been right by saying that he'd said he loved her. He did, he still did. He didn't know if he could go back and change things. Many times, in the last few years, he'd almost gone in search of her, but he never did because he was scared of rejection. Scared that she didn't love him anymore, or that she'd found someone else. Someone who wouldn't leave her to fulfill selfish desires. A man that wasn't a coward when it came to facing his feelings.

But that didn't stop his mind from wondering. Wondering where she was, what she was doing at that moment... or who she was with. He had felt so good with her, with her love. But he'd been a fool; a stupid fool for leaving her. He never should have left her, then maybe he wouldn't have this nagging feeling!

Could he go back, though? Could he go to his old home and see her as if nothing had ever happened, as if he'd never left? There was one thing that hadn't changed though, his love for her. He'd never stopped, and he doubted he ever would. Maybe going to see her wasn't such a bad idea. Maybe he should go see her, if only to see if he could put his heart to rest about her. Maybe if he saw her he'd be able to exorcise her from his heart and mind.

E desculpa-me por me sentir bem com tua dor
Sabes que eu te adoro
Mais sei que tua estrela e major
Do que a minha, do que a minha
E por isso
Eu tenho medo deste amor
Os dias passo pensando em ti
Amor
Medo deste amor
Salva-me porque agora estou caindo
Amor


Gene touched one of the roses with his fingers. He was standing at the door of Melfina's house debating whether to knock or leave. After six months of battling with himself and many days of searching, he was there. And she was just on the other side.

With a trembling hand he knocked. His breath caught in his throat as he heard the locks being unlocked. His mind told him to run before the door opened, but his heart told him that he should stay. He obeyed his heart, and a second later, when she opened the door all the way, he was glad. Melfina's eyes widened and without a word she lunged herself into his arms.

"Gene! Gene, what are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly. She hugged him tightly and ushered him inside.

"I... I came to tell you... that I love you Mel. I love you, and I want to be with you, if it's possible."

She laughed a little and placed her hand on his cheek. "Why wouldn't it be possible when I've never stopped loving you."

Scared of you I was
Scared of you I was
Scared of you
Scared of you
Scared of you

The End

 

So? What did you guys think? I wrote it in about 30 minutes. It’s got angst I know but it ends well. All mushy and stuff. Well, till next fic!