This chapter is one of two prologues, which basically serve to introduce our characters. This one is from Inuyasha's POV, and takes place about four years before our actual story begins. The song is by "Brand New" titled "Sic Transit Gloria...Glory fades". It gave a good angsty feel, and the chapter was written very much around the lyrics. Enjoy!

One and only disclaimer for story: I don't own anything about Inuyasha, so don't even bother suing me!

Ja ne

~Sabichan

in italics: lyrics

'in italics': thoughts

"in quotations": I'll give you one guess...duh...

Prologue

Fierce wind whipped the already stinging rain across his face. For a moment he wondered if it was nature's way of telling him not to go inside. The downpour that bordered on biblical proportions had begun last night. The night she had tried to kiss him. Shifting his weight from foot to foot, he let out a long sigh.

When this all started, everything has been so innocent. Her soft smiles and little endearing nicknames. The way she would lean in when she spoke to him. The way he began to trust her. She was the only person who had made an effort to speak to him since he had moved into this hellhole. Her apartment had become something of a sanctuary from his own, a place away from the suffocating depression of his mother. Yes, she was an angel in disguise.

Then...things had changed. She had changed, including the way she treated him. Her little nicknames took on a sexual connotation; instead of just leaning in to hear him, she would touch his face, his hand, play with his hair. These things coupled with the new provocative way she dressed had been more than confusing. Then there was the Kiss.

Or rather the attempted kiss. He had pulled away at the last second and ran. Ran like a little boy.

He had fled from what would have been his first kiss like the child he was.

'How disgusting.' he thought and wiped away some of the rain from his face. `how could she even stand to look at me?'

'still....'

Her words that had floated on the air after him when he ran now echoed in his head:

`"I'll still be here when you come back."

And he didn't doubt that she would. She would be waiting for him, ready to free him this sickening innocence, to make him a man. She would gladly take his virginity. She had said so herself. Right before she had leaned in.

Now all he had to do was walk up those stairs and through her door.

He was terrified.

But he took the first step and made his way into the building he had called home for the past six years. It took an eternity to reach her apartment, exactly one floor above the one he shared with his mother. Her front door was unlocked. He had expected as much. He walked silently and slowly to her bedroom door.

Before he could even reach to knock, she called to him.

"Don't knock...Come in."

He complied and stepped into the pitch black room. Suddenly a match flared in the darkness and he saw her.

She was already nude, and lying on her bed. She touched the match to the candle on her nightstand and the room took on some light. She looked up at him and laughed softly. Probably from the look on his face, from the fact that he looked like a drowned dog. Probably from the fact that she knew he would come back, and here he was.

"Inuyasha, you're soaking wet...take off those clothes and come here."

`Kikyo'

He could say her name perfectly in his mind. But when he tried to give voice to it, his breathing hitched and he chocked on the word.

"Don't be so scared, Inu. I won't hurt you."

`Keep the noise low [She doesn't want to blow it]

Shaking head to toe while your left hand does the "show me around"

Quickens your heartbeat

It beats me straight into the ground

"I-I know.." he finally whispered.

"Then come here."

You don't recover from a night like this

He walked to her bed and sat down. She didn't seem to mind that he was so wet. In fact she didn't seem to care for his clothes at all.

"Here, let me help you..."

A victim still lying in bed completely motionless

A hand moves in the dark to a zipper

Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets barely whisper

"This is so messed up"

He's wet from head to toe

And his eyes give her the up and the down

His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up...

Before he knew what had happened, he was also nude and she had laid down behind him. Her arms snaked around his waist and she nuzzled her face against his back....

"I've been waiting for you, Inu."

But the body on the bed beckons forward

and he starts growing up

It was there again. The urge to run. The urge to fly down the flight of stairs and throw himself into his own bed, in his own room, in his own home, in his own world. Far away from worrying about how she would feel about him the next morning. About how his mother would feel when she found out her 16 year old son had slept with the 34 year old woman who lived above them.

More than twice his age.

Two more lifetimes than his.

A woman of pure experience and mature beauty.

And yet...why not? No one else even close to his age had ever wanted him like this. Not a single girl, not one bit of interest of even dating him. `Kikyo...'

But he couldn't get over the blood-chilling thought that she was just using him. That's what Miroku had told him. He seemed to be suspicious from the very beginning. And he had so far been quite accurate in predicting what would happen. Miroku seemed to know that Kikyo would try what she had. His most trusted friend had seen this coming. It was hard not to have doubts about her intentions.

She had never told him how she felt about him, if she felt any love for him. She had so far only given voice to her desires.

Her lips pressed against his neck brought him out of his frenzied thoughts.

`oh shit...'

The fever the focus

The reasons that I had to believe you weren't too hard to sell

Die young and save yourself

The tickle the taste of

It used to be the reason I breathed but now it's choking me up

Die young and save yourself

Then the candle went out.

She hits the lights, this doesn't seem quite fair

Despite everything he learned from his friends

He doesn't feel so prepared

She was suddenly in front of him and pushing him back down onto the bed

"Are you scared Inuyasha?" she whispered softly.

"Yes" he barely panted out.

She's breathing quiet and smooth, He is gasping for air

His heart felt like it was about to burst. He wasn't just scared-he was paralyzed with fear.

"This is the first and last time." he says

She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his

He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides

He's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like

He is the lamb, She is the slaughter

She was on top of him now. She slowly brought her lips down to meet his, then stopped at the last second and smiled. Her eyes flashed in amusement.

"Don't I excite you?"

Suddenly he felt her hand gripping his arousal. Or lack thereof. He wasn't even close to being turned on. This woman radiated lust and it was smothering him. He gasped as she slowly began to stroke him, trying her damnedest to make him want her.

She's moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her

Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect

He whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for...

"D-do you love me, K-Kikyo?" He asked suddenly. She looked confused, but answered without hesitation.

"Sex isn't about love, Inuyasha. You'll learn that someday."

Alarms rang in his mind. That's not what she was supposed to say. Your first was supposed to love you...you were supposed to treasure your first time, it was supposed to be beautiful...not like this.

"Come on, Now! What the hell are you so afraid of? I'm just trying to make you grow up."

Anger had suddenly overtaken her. The look on her face said enough for him. Her words had explained everything.

He snapped.

no

No

`No'

"No."

Kikyo must have been very confused and more than pissed to find herself on the floor of her bedroom, alone in the dark. Her front door slammed and she winced at the force at which her walls shook.

And what a sight he must of been, running down the stairs, naked except for the soaking bundle of his clothes he held before him. And the smile on his face. Triumph. Success. Sure he had left that room a virgin, but he had more than definitely left a man.

Up the stairs, the station where the act becomes the art of growing up...

Finally he reached his apartment, and quietly walked inside. He made a beeline for the shower, turning the hot water up as much as he dared to. He needed to wash her off of him, off every part of him that she had seen and touched. Wash off her control and her manipulation and her sickening desire.

Wrapping a towel around his lower body he stepped out. The small bathroom was still full of steam, the mirror fogged so thoroughly, it might as well of been part of the wall. He wiped part of it clean and looked at his reflection.

He had never seen himself so clearly before. Gone were the black shadows his eyes had carried for as long as he could remember. The dark circles under them from lack of sleep were fading quickly. And he was smiling for the first time in days.

He wasn't weak for leaving. He was stronger than most could ever believe. He had saved himself from what could definitely be seen as rape.

"I win." he whispered.

A light knock on the door startled him from his thoughts.

"Inuyasha? Are you okay?" He walked to the door and quickly opened it. There was his mother, bedraggled and eyes rimmed with red. She had been crying , that was obvious. But she also had not slept more than an hour or so.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't come home last night."

"What happened....where did you go?" He could hear the fear in her voice.

"I stayed at Miroku's-"

"Why didn't Faye call me then?!" she exclaimed excitedly, tears springing back to her eyes.

"She didn't know I was there, Mom. Miroku didn't tell her."

"Oh....Inu....why did you leave? What's wrong, don't you want to talk about it?"

"Mom, nothings wrong anymore, I`m fine now. We'll talk tomorrow, but please go get some sleep, okay? You know you don't have to worry about me." Her face softened at his words, her eyes still intense.

"But you're all I have, you know that....I was afraid." She embraced him, burying her face in his chest.

"Well I'm home." He said softly and pulled her closer.

"Inu...did you take a shower?"

"Yeah... I got caught in the rain earlier and I wanted to get warmed up...you know..."

"What rain?"

He quickly glanced to the window across the hallway. Sure enough not a drop fell and the sky had cleared to a gorgeous dark blue. He couldn't remember ever seeing the stars so clearly before. He smiled as he stroked his mothers hair lovingly. `I'll be damned.'

"Well it was raining..."

"Inu...."

"Yes mom?"

She pulled back to look into his eyes. They were haunted and darker than usual

"Come sleep in my room tonight please? I had a nightmare again."

There was no question that his absence had only made her chronic nightmares worse. He sighed softly and held her close again.

"Of course Mom...You know I'll always take care of you..."

tbc…

AN: hope you liked it! Oh Kikyo, how could you?