Here's a little lime for you minna!
Thanks so much for reading, you guys
are the best!!
Ja ne!
~Sabichan~
Sometimes I'm a strong man
Sometimes cold and scared
And sometimes I cry
But that time I saw you
I knew with you to light my nights
Somehow I'd get by
First time I saw you
I knew with you to light my nights
Somehow I would get by
Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains
Stay with me stay
I need you to love me
I need you today
Give to me your leather
Take from me...my lace
**I POV**
The shower turned out to be less
sensual than I had planned. She kicked me out after a few minutes because I
wouldn't stop touching her. That and the fact that she could feel me pressing
up behind her, ready for seconds.
I let her have some peace as I dried
off and finally got dressed. Walking out of the bathroom, I made my way slowly
down the dim hallway, blowing out the candles as I went. I was getting kinda
paranoid, and really didn't want my apartment to burn down. I hated to kill the
romantic atmosphere, but what could I do?
Once the living room was well
extinguished, I sat down at the table in the kitchen. I had left the door to
the bathroom open, and could now hear the wonderful sounds of Kagome's voice
floating down the hallway.
"She sings in the shower...how
cute." I muttered to myself.
Taking a sip of the glass of water
I'd poured, my mind began to race.
My day had started like any other
day. I'd woken up, had my crappy bachelor breakfast, and the now ritual burning
of my hands. Then, Faye had called. And after that point, my entire routine had
changed once again, right when I was starting to get used to it.
After my impromptu concert, and
shopping "adventure" with Miro and Sango, I'd almost been relieved to
get to the mailroom. I used to hate it there, being alone for hours, with
nothing but the beeping of the scanner to keep me sane.
I'd spent so much of the past year,
especially the time there, thinking about what my life would be like when
Kagome came back to me.
And now that she had...I was
terrified again.
I could handle the intimacy. It was
easy. I had always known that Kagome and I would never have trouble with the
physical aspect of our relationship. And after what had just happened, I had
pretty much reassured myself that I was right about that.
But now....
Now came the hard part.
Seeing her waiting at that bus stop,
in the pouring rain, under the same umbrella that had first brought us
together...that was a dream come true. My uncharacteristic patience had paid
off, and I would forever remember the feeling of when I realized she had come
back to me.
But there were things that had to be
talked about, explanations, and most likely a lot of tears on her
part. It could not be avoided. If I
wanted things to work with Kagome Higurashi, I had to make sure she was on the
same level that I was. Leaving the first time had been hard on her, there was
no doubt about it. But the second time...the second time is always easier. And
if she ever got so frustrated with me, that she found it necessary to walk away
once more...I knew in my heart that I would not be able to take it.
I couldn't go through that hell
again. The shock, the numbness, then the overwhelming despair of being alone. Then....then
there was the anger. There had been a point, although very short, where I had
been so pissed off at her. Everyone avoided me for weeks as any little thing
could set me off. And I mean, anything...
I'd almost hit my best friend for
merely mentioning her name. Miroku had been scared shitless when I'd raised my
fist, just barely able to restrain myself.
It took a lot of strength for me to
let go of all that anger. First I came to realize that it hadn't been caused
solely by Kagome's departure. No, it had been building up inside me for a long
time.
For more than half of my life, I'd
been left behind. I'd been teased and taunted throughout high school because of
my looks, I'd been saddled with responsibilities that no kid should ever have
to shoulder. I'd never had a chance, was never even given one, and never even
bothered to take one. I had just been...breathing to live.
I was angry at my father, for being
so stubborn, for always working twice as hard to make up for his disability. If
he had just let us in, past the facade of invincibility, I could have been by
his side in his last moments. I could have said goodbye.
I was angry at my mother, for not
being one. She had let me down, left me burdened with her sorrows, eventually
forcing me to seek sanctuary with Kikyo. And that had only led to more
troubles.
I was angry at Sesshomaru, for the
obvious reasons. He had abandoned me at the worst possible time, offered me no
support for eight goddamn years. And I was jealous that he had been there when
my father died. What I would have given to see him one last time...
The Houshi's had done me no real
wrong. They'd had their troubles as it were. Shippo's illness when he was
younger, tough times for business, and all of those things had begun to take a
toll on a seemingly perfect marriage. I could not be angry with them...
But I was definitely angry at
Kagome. Her above anyone else.
Why?
It took me some time to figure it
out. But after a lot of thinking, it seemed so obvious.
Number one: She left me, just like
Dad, just like Sess. But what had hurt most was the fact that she already knew
how their disappearances had affected me. Did she really think I wouldn't
have abandonment issues? Well...there was no changing that now. What was done
was done.
Number two: She was the first and
only thing in my life that I ever felt was worth living for. Meeting her,
falling in love with her had been like waking up after sleeping through my
entire adolescence.
She'd made me feel like no one else
could. She'd brought me to life.
And then, as suddenly as she had
given it to me, she'd taken it away. She'd let me bang away at her door in pure
misery, proclaiming love I felt with every inch of my being, and had not even
given me a chance.
When she left, it was like she had
shot an arrow straight through my heart. I had felt so much like the half demon
of legend, and just the fact that it seemed like our love had been doomed from
the start...that had angered me to no end.
I remembered, the night after I'd
almost hit Miroku, standing in the bathroom, staring at my reflection.
My face, constantly drawn in a tight
grimace. My eyes, dark with rage, red and bloodshot. I admit now, I even scared
myself.
At that point in time, I hadn't
known who that man staring back at me was, or why he was so controlled by his
rage. I only knew I didn't want to be him anymore.
The next evening, I came home to
find my mother waiting at my apartment. She'd cooked dinner for me, and by the
look in her eyes, I knew she'd come for much more than a visit.
We had talked all night, something I
had never actually done with her. She apologized for her actions, for the hell
she'd put me through. She did her best to explain what was going through her
mind all those years, and I was more than surprised to find out just how
similar her thoughts were to my own.
She had been just as angry.
For the first time since I was a
little boy, I looked at my mother and saw her as just that. Not just the woman
I took care of, the woman who cried over a man I'd once called my father. I saw
her for who she had been, for who she was trying to be again.
After that, she'd started coming
over every week, and we'd talk again. Slowly, but steadily, we started to
reforge the bond we'd once shared as mother and son. Sometimes, Sess would join
us, and the family that had been shattered began to pick up the pieces. We
began to move on.
The relationships with my family and
friends were solid. I knew that they would never leave me again, and that I
could always depend on them to help me no matter what.
But my relationship with Kagome was
not the same. This was completely different from the love I shared with the
others. And even now, just the thought of her leaving me again...
Blinking back the involuntary tears,
I took another sip of water. This was going to be tough.
I only hoped Kagome was prepared for
it.
**K POV**
I was stalling.
I wondered briefly if he knew I was
doing it.
After all, I'd kicked him out of the
shower almost twenty minutes ago. My fingers were beginning to prune. But even
as the happy tune fell from my lips, I could feel the fear building up inside
me.
So far, this night could not have
been anymore perfect. He had welcomed me with open arms and an open heart. We'd
made love, and he'd given me the jewel once more. This time, I knew what that
represented.
I'd accepted it without hesitation. And
I'd meant what I'd said. I would never take this jewel off, and I hoped that by
now, I'd regained at least an inkling of my credibility.
Of course, he had every reason not
to trust me. I'd done too much for him not to be wary of my actions. And
honestly, even I was a little bit afraid of what I was capable of.
But...no...
No.
There was no way I could ever leave
him again. I would not let myself become that weak, or ever let myself be that
selfish ever again. My father had taught me better than that.
I turned off the water, and toweled
off. My clothes from earlier were almost dry...but the thought of wearing his
seemed much more appealing. I tiptoed back into his room, noticing that he'd
blown out all of the candles already. I slipped on my underwear and his t-shirt
and took a deep breath.
"You can do this Kagome. You
owe him." I whispered.
Finally, I walked down the dark
hallway to the kitchen, where I could hear him drumming his fingertips on the
table. I stepped softly on to the linoleum, and he raised his eyes to meet
mine.
I could see it plain as day. He was
just as scared as I was.
"Took you long enough. I was
starting to think you'd washed down the drain." He said with a half smile.
"I was distracted. I was
thinking about what I wanted to say."
"So...you know what I'm going
to ask you then, right?"
"I was thinking about you the
whole way home." I walked over and sat across from him. "I was
terrified of seeing you again. I wasn't sure how you'd react. Now of course,
I'm glad I left with Sess."
"You...you don't need to tell
my why you left. I already know your reasons. I just want to know..."
"If I'll do it again?" He
lowered his eyes to the glass before him before nodding slightly.
"On the plane, I wondered the
same thing. And even just now. But I know. I know I couldn't leave you again. Not
knowing what I know now. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
A moment of tense silence passed.
"You hurt me Kagome. You really
did."
"I know. And I know how hard it
must be for you to forgive me, but I hope that you can."
"It's not a question of
forgiveness. I've already done that. I forgave you immediately, because I
understood why you had done what you did." I sighed, and blinked back
tears.
"I don't deserve to hear you
say that."
"I don't really give a fuck. I
did and I'm telling you. But...I have to know. I have to know what you want now
that you're back. And I need you to be honest with me."
I sat in shock for few minutes. This
wasn't what I was expecting. I was anticipating a lecture, or at least a
discussion on the repercussions of my actions. Instead, he was asking me again,
if I would leave him.
"You...you have to believe me. And
I know that's a lot to ask. I'm not going to leave again."
"Tell me what you want
then."
"I want to stay with you. I
don't ever want to be away from you again, Inuyasha."
I could see him smiling, but his
eyes were still hidden by his long bangs.
"You were always better with
words than me. Actually I think even Shippo is better than me. I just fuck things
up, I have a big mouth. It always seems to get me into trouble."
"What are you getting at?"
"I'm apologizing in a very
roundabout way." I frowned, confused. He looked up at me and laughed
softly.
"I love when you do that."
I cocked my head sideways and he chuckled again.
"Yep, that's the
look....Kagome...I'm sorry for what I said that day. You know, in the
hospital."
"You're saying sorry for that?
That was so long ago! You don't have to apo-"
"Yes I do, so shut up and let
me. I got angry that I couldn't protect you. And I let it get the best of me. I...I
know that this whole thing, all these troubles we've had aren't entirely my
fault or yours. But
I can't help but wonder how things
would've been if I had just kept my big mouth shut."
I stood and padded softly over to
him. Scooting back in his chair, I slid onto his lap and wrapped my arms around
him as he did the same.
"Then I probably would have
said something just as bad. Inuyasha...things were meant to be this way for us.
It was meant to be hard. I mean, I admit I over reacted to the whole Kikyo
thing. If anyone is wrong here, if anyone has the most regrets, it's me. I
didn't see what was right in front of me. I left looking for something, even
someone to fill this void inside, and that only made it worse. I should have
known. I should have known all along, from the first day I met you, that the
one thing waiting for me, the one person...they weren't across the country or
even across the sea. He was sitting next to me every morning at that bus
stop. I should have always known it was you."
He was silent, but I could feel him
shaking. The wetness on my chest told me he was crying, just like I was. Finally
he pulled back and looked up at me. His golden depths glimmered, and a small
smile rested on his lips.
"I hate crying. Makes me feel
like a girl."
"You look adorable
though."
"Keh." he glanced away,
slightly blushing as I wiped his face clean.
"I love you Inuyasha. I swear
I'm not going to leave you."
He was quiet again. After a few
moments of thoughtful silence, he spoke.
"I was mad at you. Before. I
started to wonder if I actually hated you."
"I understand."
"I love you too much though. I
love you too fucking much to hate you. I...I've learned a lot this past year. About
my family. My friends. About me too, and that was probably the hardest part. Was
it the same for you?"
"Yeah. I...found out I can take
care of myself. I can survive on my own. I realized that I don't need anyone to
stand by me."
"So then why did you come
back?"
"Because I also realized that I
wanted someone to stand by me. And I wanted to take care of someone. I
didn't want him to be alone. I know how that feels now." He sighed and
closed his eyes.
"I'm...I'm so glad you're
home." He rested his head on my chest as I played with his bangs.
"Me too."
"Kagome."
"Hmm?"
"I...I have something else to
ask you."
"Yes?"
"I um...I need to know...when
you're moving in."
I froze for a second.
"What?" He brought his
eyes back up to mine. He was smirking again, looking so adorably obnoxious.
"I said, when are you moving
in?"
"Why would I move in with
you?" I teased.
"Because you said you wanted to
take care of me. And I'm helpless without a woman in the house. Plus, it's not
like you ever had a choice anyway..." He added, shrugging. I glared at
him.
"What's that supposed to
mean? You're not my master you know!"
"No, but you've got a lot
to make up for. You left me for a year. I expect at least a year's worth of sex
in return." The color drained from my face.
"I can't believe it. You've
become Miroku!"
"Deal with it." He
muttered, crushing his lips against mine. I pushed him away roughly.
"You've got a lot of nerve,
thinking you can boss me around! `Deal with it'? That's real romantic! You
could at least make some sort of effo-"
Before I knew it, I was over his
shoulder and he was walking back to his bedroom. I pounded on his back, kicking
and demanding that he put me down. He eventually did, it just happened to
entail dropping me on this bed.
A minute later, my clothes once
again lay on the floor, discarded.
"I told you, no clothes in the
apartment." He mumbled against my bare skin. As he began to once again
play with my sensitive breasts, I responded between moans.
"Why...why are you
so-oh!....Gods....so..." He stopped for a moment and looked at me.
"Why am I so what?"
"So freakin horny?"
"I've waited a long goddamned
time to get you alone. I've dreamt about this so much, and now," He ran
his tongue over the shell of my ear. "Now, I've got exactly what I
wanted."
"I...just never expected you to
be so wild. You always got so shy when I only hugged you."
"I've always thought about you
like this. You've given me a lot of hentai thoughts." I giggled at the
word.
"Doesn't explain your dirty
mouth." He blushed profusely as he realized what I was hinting at. When
he'd told me to cum for him...that had just pushed me over the edge.
"You don't like that?"
"Did I say that?"
"Well then don't make fun of
me. I mean, do you realize how loud you are?" It was my turn to blush.
"Weren't you busy just
now?"
He grinned wide and immediately
resumed his attack on my breasts.
We made love a second time that
night, a little more gently as I was already sore. Of course going slow had
it's advantages. Like me discovering the joy of being on top. I felt so in
control, and I got to watch his face as he reacted to each and every move I
made.
During sex, it was like we became
two very different people. We were loud and reckless, caught up in the passion
of our lovemaking.
He seemed to be determined to make
me feel good. His hands roamed my body, learning where I was most sensitive,
and a few times, where I was ticklish. After I began to tire, he quickly took
back control and proceeded to drive me insane with pleasure. I was beyond
shocked at how good he was.
It just seemed to come so natural to
him, the rhythm of his thrusts, the speed, his kisses and caresses. If my talk
with Shiori taught me anything, I realized it must run in the family.
When I reached my climax not too
much later, he coaxed me, telling me to cum for him again. And once again, I
complied practically screaming his name to the heavens above and neighbors
below.
The rush of liquid heat inside me
that followed, and his own cries of ecstasy sent more shivers through my body
than my orgasm did. Just hearing him, knowing that I was the reason, that it
was my name he was whispering like a chant...Gods....it was amazing...
Exhausted, he pulled my back up to
his stomach, curling his body around mine. He ran his hands over me, tracing my
curves over and over, whispering softly to me.
"I love you so much...I'm never
letting you go, ever again, you hear me? Never again."
All I could do was nod before I gave
in to sleep.
Lovers forever...face to face
My city or mountains...stay with me
stay
I need you to love me...I need you
to stay
Give to me your leather
Take from me...my lace
Take from me...my lace
Take from me...my lace...
Tbc…