Hey Minna!
I'm glad you guys liked the last
chapter, I wrote it only a week before I posted it.
Well, I told you to get ready for a
time jump and this is it. It took me a while to decide how long, but I feel
this worked out the best.
Sorry guys I'm super tired right
now. Was gonna write some shoutouts to reviewers but I haven't had much sleep
as I closed last night at eleven and opened at five thirty. Not to mention I
spent most of my night writing a new chapter and posting one. I know, I know,
it's my own fault, but I couldn't help it.
Oh and I've got a heads up. As I was
sitting on my break, wallowing in a sleep-deprived, nicotine induced stupor, I
got the greatest idea for a new fic, a Sess/Rin pairing.
When I catch up on my sleep, I'll
let you all know more, but for now, please enjoy, and take into consideration
the time jump.
Thanks for reading!
Ja ne!
~Sabichan~
****1 year later****
I saw the sign and
It opened up my eyes
I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up
To get into the light
Where you belong
But where do you belong?
**K POV**
I sighed for umpteenth time that
day, trying to shake off that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I had woken up with a knot of
apprehension in my stomach, and was still trying to decide what exactly had
caused it. I wasn't sure if it was the dream I'd had about Inuyasha last night,
or the fact that the record suit was coming to my show tonight
Either way, I couldn't stop the
other feeling gnawing at me.
The one that had been with me since
the first week after I had left my home.
I looked in my face in the mirror,
noting how I had grown in so short a time. I wasn't the same little miko who
lived on her family shrine-I was a woman now, living on my own, working for
myself.
I was out on a high wire here, and
there was no net to catch my fall-if I failed or if I succeeded....either way,
there was no going back.
My eyes began to darken and water as
I thought back to the times before I sat here.
After I had left my lifelong home, I
went east. I had gone off to pursue a dream, one that once had had so little
hope. I went in search of beauty, of peace, and hoped to find that in the
places the calendar had showed me. I got halfway through my journey when I
realized that it meant nothing-how was I going to find peace when all I felt
was alone?
So I went to the "big
city" on the east coast, following the allure of lights and distraction. It
worked it's charm on me and I did my best to settle in.
I took a job as a bartender, using
my best flirty eyes to get the manager over the fact that I was actually under
21 at the time. Surprisingly, it took very little effort as one of his
employees had just quit a few minutes before I walked in.
And that was how I made my living. I
stopped using the credit card Naraku had given me, but had made a few large
cash withdrawls a couple states back. I only used the money when it was an
absolute emergency. Otherwise, I wanted to be independent, to support myself
and not live on his fortune.
Recently though, I had been quite
capable of taking care of myself. I got a promotion a few months after I
started working at the club.
Now I was the main act, a singer. It
was something I never really knew I had in me. And being up on stage set me
free. No where else did I find that independence I had searched so hard for. I
was most at peace when the lights were dimmed and the music played. I was Me.
I'd gained a bit of a following
since then, and usually sang to a packed house. The owner had become like my
manager, and had done a lot of advertising-eventually he caught the eye of a
record suit, who in turn had sent a scout out to see me. He had returned to his
boss, impressed with my performance and now the exec himself was here to listen
with his own ears.
All of this had gone on unbeknownst
to me, until last night when my "manager" had informed me of our new
business opportunities. At the time I had simply shrugged, walked away, and
gone home to my single apartment.
I'd cried myself to sleep that
night. Not because I was angry that he was only just telling me, and not
because this wasn't what I had wanted to do with my life. No it was nothing
anyone could have understood, no matter how I would try to explain it.
The fact was, that whether I came
away with a contract or not, whether I won or lost, in the end it would never
really matter. Just like my journey before this, I found no peace, no beauty in
the life I lived.
I was alone and in the loneliness, I
found little solace in anything.
It had been remarked that my singing
could move men to tears, and in all truth I was not surprised.
I sang from my heart, and my heart
was in pain. It had been so ever since I'd pushed him away and out of my life.
Since I'd left his...
My only relief was when I was indeed
singing onstage. Up there, I would imagine one of my most favorite memories,
the night of my twentieth birthday, when we had sat together beneath the
Goshinboku tree. The night he had asked me to sing for him.
I closed every night with that song,
and it was my only moment of happiness in my 24/7 world of sorrow and guilt.
"Inuyasha..." I whispered
softly, gazing at the picture from my birthday that I kept on my dressing room
vanity.
A loud knocking at the door broke me
from my nostalgia and I realized it was time to play my part. I stood,
smoothing my long black dress and sighed yet again.
I would go and give the best damn
show I could, if not for me, then for my memory of him. He would be happy for
me, because he loved me-he had told me so himself. But the one thing, the
regret I would live and die with still rang true. The cause for the gnawing
deep inside my soul.
I only wished I could have told him
I loved him too.
I squared my shoulders and took a
deep breath. The hallway to the stage was empty and silent, but the noise of
the showroom echoed throughout. I took a single deep breath and stepped up on
stage.
The bar was dim and smoky, the stage
lights warm upon my skin. A cheer erupted from the small packed in crowd,
drunken loyalty and excitement abound. I walked to the stool that sat in the
middle and picked up the microphone, smiling at the feeling their applause was
creating in me.
I winked at my piano player for the
night and took a seat on the stool. I turned to my audience and laughed
lightly.
"Wow, sure are a lot of
familiar faces in here tonight!" A cheer and some catcalls. " And a
few unfamiliar ones. Welcome to all the fresh meat." A round of laughter.
"Really, I am glad to have so
many of you here, it brings me a lot of joy to have so much support. I didn't
come to this city to be a singer, and I didn't come here to be a bartender
either. But I'll tell ya, it sure is great to be able to finally be in here
legally."
Another round of laughs.
"I have something different
planned tonight, a few new things I know you'll like, and some you probably
won't, but fuck that, it's my show."
A large round of cheers and laughs. I
smiled. Talking to my crowd was a great way to get me warmed up.
"Okay okay calm down. How bout
we get down to business and we have a little fun tonight?!"
An hour later, I was still heavily
into my show. I'd changed my line up a bit, trying my best to show off my vocal
range. I was feeling pretty good, and more than a little confident from the
Vodka Collins I occasionally took a sip of. Soon, I was leading into my last
song, my very favorite. The lights dimmed and I closed my eyes, letting my
memory take me back.
I saw myself sitting under the God
Tree, Inuyasha's jacket around my shoulders, his eyes boring into mine. That
had been the hardest thing to get out of my head-those eyes. As I sang, I
thought about those golden depths, that flashed with his emotions, darkened
with his sadness, brightened every morning when we first said hello.
`If only I could change what
I've done to him...If only I could go back...'
I continued to imagine him, so close
to my face as the words flowed from my heart and out past my lips.
Right before he had leaned into kiss
me that night, he had looked so lost, but not in a bad way like one would
think. No, he wasn't afraid at all, not with me, not like he'd been with my
aunt.
When he looked at me that night, he
had been absorbed in me, enchanted and happy-he had been so happy to be so
close to me.
I opened my eyes then, looking at my
audience with shimmering eyes. I wanted to cy, to just break down, but I help
myself together like I always did and sang on.
I met the eyes of everyone there,
trying to reach inside of them, to feel their souls, to sympathize with the
pain they also hid inside. I saw their envy, not of my voice, but of the fact
that I had a way to let it out, a way to try to heal.
Blue, Brown, Green, Hazel, a sea of
colors in various degrees of intensity and depth. I saw into each one and
buried my sorrows there. After I had stared into a pair of particularly blue
eyes for a moment I realized I was on the last verse of my encore. Almost
sadly, I brought my gaze the last pair there, intent on relieving my pain as
best as I could with the time I had.
But when I looked I almost choked at
what I found staring back at me. I heard my voice begin to shake a little and I
fought to keep my composure. But it was so hard, so very hard to stay calm
under the steady golden gaze being
held on me.
Tbc…
wow, it's been a while, but...
DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!