Okay, well I lied again.

I was gonna change the explanation for Shoji's disappearance but....I can't. number one, I would have to re write almost the entirerty of what I have now, and I can't bear to change it.

number two, the only reason I wanted to change it was it's believablity. But I decided that you are intelligent people who can understand why I chose to keep this explanation. I'll say more at the bottom

I only hope you guys have seen "Lorenzo's Oil" or at least know what it's about.

I don't expect good reviews from this chapter, and I have to admit, i'm a little nervous. Either way, I cannot change the story, and this will just have to do.

If ya like it, well then you're the greastest reader ever!!!

If you hate it, Sorry but we can't all get what we want from Sabichan. She's only human too.

Ja ne!

~Sabichan~

*I POV*

We stood before the door to the apartment, silent, and I could only imagine what was going through his head just then.

It had been eight years since he had seen her. Eight years since he had heard her voice.

Now that time was to end, and all he had to do was open that door and walk through it.

His face was expressionless, and though it was nothing out of the ordinary when it came to my brother, it still unnerved me.

`what is he thinking? why is he just standing there...'

Finally without any warning he stepped back. He turned to me, his eyes downcast and spoke low.

"You go in first."

"No, I think it's better if you do."

"Inu, just go in, it'll be better if she sees you first."

"She wouldn't be expecting to see me here either! C'mon Sess, just go in." His voice

raised slightly.

"Don't argue with me just open the cursed door."

"You got two hands, do it yourself!" I yelled back, not to be outdone.

"Inuyasha, do as I tell you!"

"Fuck off, just go in, what are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afra-"

He didn't have time to finish, because the door swung open at that moment. My mother stood there, her eyes wide and tear-filled, hands clenched at her sides. She stared at Sess and he stared right back. It felt like another eight years passed before she finally broke the thick silence that hung in the hallway.

"Sesshomaru?"

He nodded and took a step towards her. Before either of us could realize it, she had flung herself into his arms and latched tightly to him. Her face was buried in his chest and her body heaved with uncontrolled sobs. Mom just kept saying his name over and over again.

Sess was stunned to say the least. But he just wrapped his arms around her small frame and pulled her closer to him. I watched slow, hesitant tears fall down his face. He never really was big with emotions, but when it came to my mother, he was never shy about showing affection.

Eventually she pulled back to look at his face, her slender fingers lightly brushing away his stray tears. She smiled, and he smiled and of course I had to too.

"Sess, my baby...my son...wh...where....why....Oh I missed you so much." she finally blurted out, letting loose a whole new series of sobs. He hushed her, once again pulling against him, and laid his head atop hers.

"I know, I missed you too. But I'm home...I'm not going to leave you ever again. I swear."

I walked past them, inside the apartment and straight for my room. Quickly I changed, wiping a bit of the blood off my chest. We had a lot to talk about, and my own problems didn't need to be brought to light just yet.

I thought back to what Sess had told me in the limo. About our father. About what had really happened.

And suddenly it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. A feeling I had longed for eight long years.

Closure.

I walked back out to the kitchen where my mother was now bustling about in the kitchen, making coffee and chatting so excitedly I thought she might burst.

"....and I heard your voice outside and I just knew it was you Sesshie, no, no mistaking that voice. Not even after all this time would I forget it, and I was right and now here you are! I always said you'd come back, I just knew in my heart that you were still my son and that you still loved us, and well here you are, home...Oh Sess we have so much to talk about."

He sat at the kitchen table looking very amused as she babbled.

"Yes, Mom, we do."

She turned then with the two mugs in her hand and motioned for him to follow her into the living

room. I poured myself a glass of water before I joined them.

`Kagome...' I thought at the aroma of coffee wafted in the air. One of the infinite number of things that reminded me of her.

I did my best to shake the thought of her as I sat next to my brother.

"Well...I suppose I should start from the beginning...I know you both have a lot of questions. I have returned with answers to those, and also some you weren't expecting."

I nodded, already knowing what he meant. `Dad...'

"Sess. Please. Tell me why you left...and where did you go?"

He took a sip of the coffee and sighed.

"Do you remember what we argued about the night before I left? Do you remember what I said right before I walked away?"

"Yes...You said I was suffocating you." She recalled quietly.

"That's my reason, at least one of them. Mom...you were just so...lost. After our father...vanished, you seemed to abandon us too. And I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't help hearing you cry night after night, and not be able to do anything about it. It was killing me, both of us. So I set out to do something about it."

"Sesshie? What..."

"I went to look for him."

She nodded for him to continue, but we could both see the pain in her face. She looked like she knew what was coming.

"I searched everywhere for Dad. All across the country. But after two years, I ran out of money, and patience to be honest. It almost seemed like he just fell off the face of the earth. I couldn't find a single trace of him. Then one night, it occurred to me, that I should have started at the beginning...his beginning. So I tracked down Uncle Myouga. I found him living in the east. He wasn't alone, though..."

It seemed like the whole world was holding it's breath right then. I could feel the air grow thicker around me, could almost feel the pounding of my mother heart on the cusp of this revelation.

"I found him, Mom."

A moment of silence passed. She looked ready to fall apart.

"I saw him, with my own eyes, and I spoke to him, I asked him how he had gotten there, why he was there, why he had left...but he couldn't answer me. He...he didn't even know who I was."

I winced in pain as I thought about how that must have felt. To call out to your father and him not

even realize that you are his son.

"Sess...I..I don't' understand..."

"He was dying, Mom. Something...something happened to him that day that he left us. He lost every memory he'd ever had, he..he couldn't even remember his own name. He left, wandered around alone for years until finally he came across Uncle Myouga about a month before I showed up. Mom, he died that night. I was right beside him."

She didn't sob, or even whimper. She just breathed steadily staring at the cup of coffee in her hands absently, just like I had witnessed so many morning before. An eternity passed before she finally looked up at us, smiling gently.

"I...I can't...bring myself to cry...I'm sorry...I can't find any tears to shed for Shoji...It hurts, my husband is gone... I... never got to say goodbye....But..."

"It's okay mom...I know how you feel." I finally spoke up. I leaned over and took her hand, Sess placing his on top. "I feel relieved...it's something we've been searching for so long, finally answered. And it doesn't hurt like I thought it would. Maybe...because I'm just glad he's at peace...glad that we had some time to prepare ourselves for the worst...and the worst wasn't as bad as we had expected it to be."

I felt like I was rambling, but no one spoke to stop me. I could tell by the look in each of their eyes that they felt the same way that I did.

We had lived our lives thinking the unthinkable-that a man so full of life and love had simply turned his back on everything and everyone, and left without even a glance back.

We had lived our lives thinking some terrible evil had ripped our foundation from us, a murderer or a sinister plot. We had each been plagued with the nightmare of imagining him dying cold and alone,

calling our names in the dark.

We had lived our lives by the day, and as each had passed the hurt got a little less, and then a little less. We finally realized he wasn't coming back, and that we would probably never know what had become of him. We would live forever with an open wound in our hearts, a question longing to be answered, but longing in vain. And even thought it stopped hurting, it didn't stop killing us inside.

This was our salvation. The selfish but forgivable right of those left behind. The end to what had slowly torn us apart, the salve to heal our wounds.

This was the answer to the question we had been living for eleven years.

And it wasn't a grand caper to murder my father and steal his company and his wife. It wasn't for money or greed. It wasn't even for lust or forbidden love.

It was a disease that had lain low and unnoticed for his entire life.

My father had had a terrible car accident when he was about my age. It had left him mostly paralyzed from the waist down. I can still remember being young enough to ask him why he couldn't walk...

We all accepted it. My father was happy, and he never let it get the best of him. He let it become just another part of his life.

Mostly due to the fact that it's so rare, but also that ever since that day, he had had a severe aversion to doctors, the disease remained undiscovered

Not that it would have mattered if it had been found...it was already too late.

No one could have stopped it.

Uncle Myouga had explained when Sess had asked him how it all had happened. After all, since he had come across my father sitting on the street in front of a church, he had taken him in like he had when his parents had died.

He was evaluated, researched, debated over and finally diagnosed with a rare disease had only affected three other people in current medical history.

Sess explained how the disease worked.

"It's called Adrenomyeloneuropathy, or AMN. It usually starts in males around their twenties or thirties, and there is no cure. Unfortunately, we would have been able to catch it early had our father not been paralyzed as he was. You see, it usually starts with the legs. Since it's a degenerative nerve disease, it is also slowly progressive, and the symptoms appear gradually. Dad happened to be a rare case as well. He was able to function normally for a few years after the onset of the disease, so we were unable to notice the changes going on within him.

"But he must have known somehow, that something was wrong with him. I don't know or understand why he wouldn't have said anything, but...I do suppose that was just how he was. Always strong, never complaining, and stubborn. Unfortunately...that's what led to his demise.

"You see, in Dad's case, he was fine for years, able to withstand what was going on inside him. But he could not hold back for long, and everything....everything came crashing down. Mentally, the disease destroys all of the mind and senses-his memory was the first thing to go. The reason Dad didn't come home that night, all those years ago...he couldn't even remember who he was, let alone who we were. From then on, I can only guess what happened. He somehow made his way across the country, not far from where Uncle Myoga now resides...How he got there? That will forever remain a mystery. How Uncle Myoga found him, however, was a work of the Gods. He took him in once more, and after being examined by several physicians, He was diagnosed. Within a few months, he deteriorated into a near vegetable state, losing almost all cognitive capacity. When I got there... He couldn't even remember how to speak. His body began to die as the rest of the mind was slowly destroyed. But when I saw him, I could tell: His mind was already dead. In a way, I guess we were kind of right. Dad did leave us that night. Dad died before he even knew he was dead."

We all sat in a pained silence as each of us contemplated how hard it must have been for my father to bear-the loneliness, the confusion. The hurt was especially apparent in Sesshomaru's eyes. It was understandable-after all, he had been the only one who had actually seen the shell of a man my father had left behind.

My mother began to cry finally. Then I did, then Sess. We wept together for the man we had all loved more than life itself, our foundation. As each of us dried our tears, I looked outside at the now setting sun. How much more vibrant it seemed, how much clearer the sky looked.

It was the sunset of a chapter of our lives.

Mine and my mother's thoughts turned to the now somewhat mysterious man who sat in our midst.

Sesshomaru had grown up well, strong and tall. So different from the lanky teenager I had last seen. The only thing that physically proved that that boy had not disappeared was the purple tribal tattoo that graced his wrist.

He had gotten it on his sixteenth birthday, after a friend from the track team had gotten him drunk for the first time. I had been waiting up for him, my mother long ago asleep from a bout of tears. He had snuck in quietly, the smell of alcohol long reaching me before the sound of his footsteps. He was a mess and he seemed to be clutching his hand for some reason. When I asked he clamped his hand over my mouth and dragged me into our room.

*flashback*

"Sess, what's wrong with you? How come you smell so bad? And what's wrong with your hand?"

"Inu, I need you to keep a secret, can you do that?"

"Depends on what it is? Are you hurt?" I asked trying to touch his bandaged wrist. He pulled away sharply.

"No! ...Yes...Well...it hurts. Look....Ryuuchi got me drunk for my birthday, his parents were out of town.. Then, he kinda talked me into something really stupid...You have to promise not to tell Mom. If you do, I'll kill you."

He meant it. I swallowed nervously, waiting for him to show me what was under that bandage. He peeled it back slowly and I gasped when I saw the purple design there.

"Holy Shit!" I whispered. He bopped me on the head.

"Don't curse, you're too young. Now, remember, I'll kill you if you tell Mom. And whatever you do, don't ever drink. It's bad for you."

I nodded, looking up into his slightly red eyes. No matter the condition he had home in, I still gazed at him in awe. My older brother was the coolest guy I knew. And he was always looking out for me. Even now, he was teaching me through the mistakes he made himself. And even though he had threatened me with certain doom, he had entrusted me with a huge secret. I wouldn't let him down.

I snapped out of my reverie as my mother began to speak.

"Sesshie? What happened to you after that? What did you do? How come you never called or wrote..."

"I was...afraid."

We looked at him stunned. He just glared back flatly.

"What? I can feel fear too you know. It's just...I was afraid to come back. I wasn't ready to tell what had happened and...I didn't want things to get worse. I stayed with Uncle Myouga. He taught me everything he knew about business just like he taught Dad. I started out over there working in the mail room of a real estate company. A year later, I was giving presentations to the Chairman. Before I knew it, I was the Chairman. I seemed to have made something of myself but...it was never really enough. There was always something missing, and I didn't have to think twice to realized that it was you, both of you. You're my family and I abandoned you. I wanted to call so many times, but I was just so afraid of you hating me. I couldn't bare it. I didn't think I had a chance to come back into your lives. Finally I just got so goddamn lonely I couldn't take it anymore. So...Here I am ....I'm home."

"Oh Sess, how could you think I would hate you? You're my son no matter what! I'm so happy....I'm so happy I have my family back." She hugged him tightly. I noticed the curiosity in his eyes.

"Mom...You're different...what happened to you?"

"It's an even longer story, Sess." I said staring at my hands. My mother reached out to me and I took her hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Does.. this have something to do with...that girl?" He asked tentatively.

"Yes...It has everything to do with her." I whispered.

My mother fixed dinner as Sess and I went into my room.. our room to talk. I explained my relationship with Kagome from the very beginning, from the bus stop to her birthday, to Naraku and Mom, to the Skikon no Tama, and even about Kikyo. I told him everything, trying not to leave out a single detail, trying to make him see and understand just how special Kagome was, not only to me, but to everyone else in my life.

"I can't understand it Sess. She's perfect for me...And I know I'm perfect for her...It's like...we were meant to meet, to be together, and I know how sappy that must sound coming from me, but...it's just what I feel. I can't live without her...She's the one for me."

He nodded thoughtfully, looking the picture of her I held in my hand.

"She's beautiful."

"That's not even the half of it." He sighed and turned to look at me.

"I didn't come back for just you and Mom, Inu. I came back for someone else, too."

I looked up at him, confused.

"Who? Miroku?"

"No, not Miro." He chuckled and shook his head. " No, my plight is somewhat similar to yours Inu. You see, I have someone that I need to find, someone I should have never let go of to begin with."

I knew immediately who he was talking about. The one person who Sess had loved with his entire heart, the one he was sure he was going to spend his life with.

"Inu...I came back to find Rin."

I nodded and thought back to the black haired girl Sess had gone out with since before my father had left. They had been inseparable, always together. She had been a welcome addition to our lives. She was lively, fun, a little goofy sometimes. She was in many ways the exact opposite of Sess. Where he was quiet, she was loud, where he was reserved, she was outgoing.

They were so in love, it seemed like nothing could tear them apart. But, just like Me and Kagome, something did. Someone did.

One night, a man had abducted her as she was leaving work. He raped her and stole her car, deserting her in the middle of nowhere. Someone found her the next day, almost dead and called the police.

Sess had gone crazy, so angry and hungry for revenge on the man who had hurt his only love. But through all his rage, he didn't do the things he should have done. He didn't comfort Rin with love and affection. He did so with promises of vengeance and vows of retribution. Eventually, she grew away from him, her once childlike demeanor already lost with her innocence. She broke up with Sess two months afterwards and asked him not to call anymore.

It was hard on me too. She had become something of a big sister to me, and she had been there for us when Dad disappeared. Now she was gone too. It wasn't too long before Sess started to argue with my mother, and eventually leave our lives as well.

"I haven't heard from her since you guys broke up. I don't even think she lives in the city anymore."

"No...I'm sure she never left. She loved this place too much. I wonder...I wonder what she's doing right now. What she's done with her life...If she ever became an artist, is she ever got her own apartment like she always wanted. I miss her."

We both sighed at the same time, our hearts going out to the women who had left us behind. We looked at each other blushing slightly and I looked away.

"Feh...Look at us whining. What's become of us..."

"We're in love...nothing we can do about it." He smiled. "Shingetsu men are never wrong."

"Yes they are.. I am."

He was silent for a moment before he stood.

"No...You're not wrong. For once I'll admit that you, Inuyasha are not wrong."

I chuckled.

"Never thought I'd hear that from you.. but you can't fix this...I can't fix this...She's made up her mind...I'll just have to live with it."

"You weren't so ready to say that earlier today." He said quietly. I tensed knowing exactly what he meant.

"I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come Sess."

"I followed you, I was curious as to what you were up to. Then I see you walk into the old graveyard,

and I just knew something was wrong. You used to be afraid of the dead."

"Shut up...Look....Don't tell mom about this... I will when I'm ready to...But don't worry about me right now...Trust me...it's the furthest thing from my mind."

He nodded and turned to the door as my mother called to tell us dinner was ready. Then we heard her begin to sing, probably not even noticing she was doing it. We both smiled, reveling in the sweet voice we had grown up with, that we thought we'd never hear again.

"Inu, I have a feeling things are going to be looking up for us from now on. A very good feeling."

Tbc…

okay, looong chapter, I know.

and now a few words of defense:

First off, AMN is a real disease, and is the milder, adult form of ALD, which is the one discused in the movie "Lorenzo's Oil"

There is no actual cure for it, and death usually occurs within a few years of it's onset.

I actually did a lot of research into this, even going so far as to ask my neurologist to help me explain it, and to see if the scenario I created was realistic. He said it's very possible for it to happen in a rare case, even though the disease is rare in itself. So there!

As for Shoji being paralyzed and never mentioning it beforehand, well I honestly couldn't find anywhere else in the story to say it before. Being disabled affects your life greatly, yes, but if you learn to live with it, you can be as normal as the person walking next to you. I thought of Shoji as a normal, loving man, who just so happens to be in a wheelchair. I didn't mention it because it wasn't necessary to. As for them having sex, YES it is possible! No, I'm not disabled myself, but I have had a boyfriend who was. *winks*

So while I'm not expecting kudos for Shoji's strory, I do hope you're all happy to hear my inclusion of Rin. I do like the pairing, and couldn't imagine my strory without it! So be prepared for her entrance, and man you guys are gonna love that!

Thanks again for reading, and I hope you continue to do so after this rather...shaky chapter...