Please note that in the last chapter, Inu went to the graveyard the next day. This next section will be jumping around a bit, so please bear with me.

*This next part with Kag happens in the wee morning, hours before Sango even goes to give him back the jewel.

*(Sango talks to Kag after Inu is dragged home, Kag tells her to give him back the Jewel. Sango waits unitl the next morning to give him some time to recover before she has to break his heart a second time by returning the Shikon no Tama)*

Then the last part picks up where we left off last chapter...oohhhh...you guys are gonna love this....

Ja ne!

~Sabichan~

Is love so fragile...

and the heart so hollow

Shatter with words...

impossible to follow

You're saying I'm fragile...I try not to be

I search only...for something I can't see

*K POV*

**Three a.m.**

I sat up in bed. What a nightmare I'd been having...So horrible...

In it, I was back on the night of my birthday, only things did not turn out the same way. Kouga had hurt Inuyasha, and then come over to me. He had ripped off all of my clothes, and ravaged my body with his mouth, leaving teeth marks and broken skin everywhere. When I called out for Inuyasha to help me, Kouga had only laughed and pulled me up by my hair to see what he was doing.

"Looks like your lover boy already has his hands full!" he sneered.

And under the God tree, on the same bench were Kikyo and Inuyasha, in the same position we had been in that night, their lips locked tightly together his hands gently roaming her body. I had given up then, and just let Kouga have his way with me as I watched the couple doing all the things I had wanted to do that night. The worst part was hearing them, proclaiming a love that hadn't died after all those years apart.

I felt sick, and I scanned my room for the trashcan that I'd kicked away in my earlier rage after I had made him leave. I stumbled out of bed and grabbed it just in time.

I walked dizzily to my bathroom to rinse out my mouth afterwards. That's when I saw myself. I looked like Hell had run me over twice.

I splashed the cool water on my face and gargled it to get the awful taste out. I had been crying too much. I sighed and patted my face dry, then made my way downstairs to brew myself a cup of coffee. As I went through the motions of fixing it, I thought about Inuyasha, and how much he had loved it. How curious he was, watching me make it, anxious to learn my little secrets here and there.

I flicked a stray tear from my eye as it percolated.

"Did you want some too, Aunt Kikyo?" I said softly as I realized she'd been standing behind me for quite some time.

"Kagome, I-"

"I'll make you some too. I like making things for people. It makes me feel useful. Dad used to say cooking is good therapy. He always made me some French toast when I was sad. No matter how hard I try, I still can't make it as well as he did."

She smiled as she came to stand beside me. She ran her fingers through my hair tenderly, and I fought the urge to pull away.

"Kagome. My sweet. Please let me talk to you."

"What more is there to say? There's nothing left, and I'm not sure my heart can take much more of this."

"Let me explain what happened today." I shook my head.

"That doesn't matter anymore. I sent him away. He won't be back either. I gave him back his gift. I gave him back his soul."

"Why?"

"Because you love him don't you, Aunt Kikyo?"

She was silent. I poured the coffee, mixing just the right amount of sugar and cream into each cup.

She followed me to the kitchen table.

"You're right, my sweet. I do. But you have to know that no matter how I feel, it will never be returned."

"You had your claim on him first. You touched him first. I can't come between that."

"But I <i>can't</i> love him! I can't have him Kagome! I'm thirty nine years old. He's only 21.

There's no way it would every work. Especially while he's still so in love with you."

"But can't you see, Aunt Kikyo? I can't be with him. If I were to take him, take the love he's offering me, If I were to love him back...I would be with him forever. And you...you would have to witness it. How could I do that to my own family? How could I rub my happiness in your face, when your own love life has been so unfair?"

"Kagome, you can't sacrifice something so right simply because of my mistakes-" I shook my head, interrupting her.

"That's not my only reason. Like I said, you touched him first. You have been where I have not. And I can't bear the thought of it. I just can't deal with all that's already happened. I put him through hell with Kouga. I put him through hell for a month without speaking to him. And now <i>this</i>? My aunt is his first sexual experience. It's....it's just, something's not right. It shouldn't be this difficult..."

She stirred her coffee and took a sip.

"Your father taught you so well. You don't know how much I miss my brother, my sweet. He would be here to guide me, he was so wise. He would know what to do. He'd also talk some sense into you."

I looked up at her a bit surprised.

"I didn't have sex with him Kagome. You know that. I almost raped him. Yes, that's what it would have been, rape. He was so scared, he could hardly move. He didn't even lay a hand on me until he pushed me away. I never even got to kiss him. Not until today that is. Kagome, you are his first, and you...you are his only. He was so angry with me after you ran away. He called me the biggest mistake of his life. And he was right. I was. But it's amazing what loneliness can do to you. All those years ago, his sadness gave me power to overcome my own, and then I abused that. I gave him an ultimatum-to be with me, or lose the only kindred spirit he had at the time." I swallowed hard and asked hesitantly.

"He....he didn't touch you....?"

"Not even once. The only reason he came back that night was because he had no where else to go. All he wanted was to be loved. I couldn't do it at the time, nor should I ever have been able to. No, he knew something better would come along, deep down inside. You know, he told me something about his family, about the men. That they get these feelings. About the woman they're going to marry. They say that Shingetsu males are never wrong."

The words echoed over and over in my head. Shiori's voice, Aunt Kikyo's, Sango's.

I broke into a sob, my entire body trembling with sorrow at what I had done. I had pushed him away when all he had wanted was to love me.

And all because I had believed I wasn't his first. That someone had been there before me. All because I was selfish, when in fact, I wasn't all that pure to begin with. I had let Kouga kiss me, and in the beginning I had kissed him back.

Aunt Kikyo had never kissed him before today.

"What have I done?" I whispered.

"You have to fix this. It's still possible. He won't stop loving you."

I looked up into her eyes, which were brimming with tears as well. I saw my reflection in them and quickly turned away.

"NO."

There was no way I could ever forgive myself for what I had done. I had betrayed him in so many ways, had pushed him away twice, when he was at his lowest. And even if he did take me back, I would forever be haunted by my own trespasses. No. I didn't deserve Inuyasha. Never.

"Aunt Kikyo. I can't. I've done too much. He may forgive me, but I never can. Not after what I've said, and what I've done. No. He can go on without me. I gave him back his soul. Now he can love again. I'll just have to live with my own decision."

She nodded and stirred her coffee once more. After a few minutes of thoughtful silence, she spoke.

"When do you leave?"

I glanced up at her, eyes wide with shock.

"How?" She chuckled softly.

"How did I know you were leaving? Because you are my niece, and the same blood flows through our veins. We are Mikos Kagome, and once in her life, every Miko must make a journey to find herself. I took my journey, but my path went astray. So now I am back at my beginning, preparing to make a new start. I know that look in your eyes-I had the same look when I first left my home."

Somehow, this woman who I had despised and envied in so many ways had become my confidant.

She understood my reason for leaving, She understood my reason for not going back to Inuyasha.

She understood me.

"When do you leave?" She repeated. I took another sip of coffee, the warm liquid relaxing the lump in my throat.

"Tonight."

*I POV*

I sat frozen on the ground staring at the figure before me, my eyes wide and disbelieving. The dagger fell from my hands and onto the marble tombstone, a loud clang echoing through the graveyard. He took a step forward, his brow furrowed in concern, but his eyes lit with a glimmer of amusement. Finally, looming right above me, he spoke.

"Why Inuyasha...You look as though you've seen a ghost."

I blinked once, twice then again for good measure. Nope, he was really there. I wasn't just imagining it. He reached out a hand to me, the amusement gone from his eyes, concern now the dominant emotion.

"Y-you...Wha-..Se-...Se..."

"Don't tell me you've forgotten your dear brother's name?"

"Sesshomaru?!"

Tbc…

Bet ya didn't see that one coming!

On to the next chapter!