Hey Minna! Thanks
agiain for the wonderful reviews, you guys are so awesome!
And I have to
admit, I love when you guys ramble! Makes the reviews just so much more
personal, and I feel so love-ed!
Ok, I know no one
wanted to say it, but I know the past few chapters seemed like they were just a
lot of filler, but it was necessary to show you what they're both going through
being away from each other. Poor kids...I put them through so much hell don't
I?
Well, you ain't
seen nothing yet!
Within the next
five or six chapters, you're all gonna be exploding like our good friend
Soranji.
Five or six seem
like a long time from now?
Did I happen to
mention I'm putting up three or even four tonight?
You love
me...admit it XP
So here we go,
and I hope you like!
Ja Ne!
~Sabichan~
You have found
her, now go and get her
Remember to let
her into your heart
Then you can
start to make it better
**K POV**
I sat under the
God tree, gazing at the empty seat beside me. It had been a month since I had
talked to Inuyasha. A whole fucking month.
My sigh was lost
on the breeze as it blew around me, ruffling my bangs. My eyes did not waver
from the void beside me.
Everyday since my
birthday, I had been drawn to this same spot, and here I would sit for hours at
a time.
"What have I
done?"
Inside I begged
the Gods, the Earth itself for some kind of reply. All I got was silence,
crushing silence.
I had been so
close, right on the very threshold of a new life. Inuyasha's kiss had opened
that door; and had Kouga never showed up, I would have stepped through it, with
no hesitation in my heart.
But here I sat
alone, just like I would always be. Alone, because there would be no other for
me. No matter what I would do, who I would try to love, no one could fill the
void that stayed by my side truer than my own shadow. No one could ever take
his place.
I vaguely noticed
I was crying again. I closed my eyes and imagined that night like I had so many
times before. I pictured myself holding him tight, my lips pressed firmly to his.
I could see myself pulling away and looking deep into his eyes. I imagined
myself saying the words I should have said so long ago, something I had felt
long before I had ever realized it.
"I love
you"
Ever since the
first day we had met, something inside me had changed. Those ten minutes we had
spent standing in the rain, sharing an umbrella-those precious seconds had been
the turning point of my entire life.
Not my 18th
birthday, not even my 20th! No-it was that gloomy day, when golden eyes had
first looked into mine.
I fell for him
right then and there.
All those days we
had spent together at the bus stop. Each one had made had made the strange new
feelings grow stronger, but no matter how the emotions confused me, I was never
afraid of them. They were for Inuyasha, and therefore, they could be trusted. Just
like him.
But that didn't
matter now.
My chance in life
to be truly happy was gone. I had pushed him away when I should have pulled him
close.
I had kicked the
only man I'd ever loved in my entire life right out of it. And I only had
myself to blame.
`He would
never forgive me...'
The thought only
brought more tears to my eyes. He was gone, out of my reach. I didn't even
deserve to see him again. What I had done was unforgivable.
"'Gome?"
I heard Sango's
voice in the distance, coming my way. I had almost forgotten she was coming
over.
"I'm
here." I called half-heartedly. It wasn't that I didn't want her to be
there. It was just that I hated people seeing me cry-and that was something she
had seen far too often in our barely blooming friendship.
She came around
the corner of the house and into my view.
"Sorry I'm
late, babe. Had an errand to run."
"Liar."
She winced at the
name, though it lacked any malice. It was just that I knew full well where she
had been. True, I had been the one to ask her not to talk about Inuyasha in
front of me...but still.
"Yeah. Are
you mad?" She asked somewhat timidly.
"No. I have
no right. You guys are friends too, long before I ever came to wreck
things."
"Stop saying
that. You didn't `wreck things', `Gome."
"So then how
is he?"
She froze and I
could see the look of indecision cross her expressive face. She wasn't sure
whether or not to tell me the truth.
"And don't
lie to me, Sango."
She threw her
hands up in defeat and sat down next to me.
"You're such
a bitch. You always know...He's, well. He's not so great. He misses you,
Kagome."
"Right..."
"He does! You
should see how miserable he is without you! You have to talk to him at least! Please?
He needs you!"
"Like water
in his lungs..." I muttered under my breath. I could have sworn I heard
her growl.
"That's it!
I'm fed up with the both of you! I can't take being in the middle
anymore!! You're both miserable without each other, and you're both making each
other even more miserable by not clearing up this whole misunderstanding! Because
that's what it is Kagome! It's a fucking misunderstanding, miscommunication, a
mistake-"
"You like
prefixes don't you?" I interrupted her little rant out of habit. I clamped
a hand over my mouth as soon as the words came out. Her face lit up.
"See! That's
the Kagome I fell in love with! That's the first non-depressing piece of
sarcasm you've said in a month! Oh babe, you're still alive in there aren't you
?!"
She wrapped her
arms around me as she gushed over my smart mouthing. I had to smile. She was
good at making me do that... I sighed into her shoulder.
"I'm
alive...Just not happy. I miss him, too. You know that. But...I really screwed
things up. No matter how you say he feels, I'll never be able to live this
down. He'll never forget what I did..."
She placed her
hands on my shoulders and pulled away to look at me. Her gaze flickered between
the jewel that I wore around my neck and my face. There was a look of
seriousness in her eyes that I had never seen since we had become so close.
"Kagome.
There's something you need to know."
"What?"
"I'm...It's
not my place to tell you. But I think it's time you had a talk with
someone."
"Sango?"
"Just...trust
me. I know that's asking a lot. But you have to, please. You have to
know..."
I looked in
confusion at her sincere expression. But I could tell her concern was genuine. Sango
had nothing to gain by hurting me, she could be trusted. But I couldn't help
but feel a knot of apprehension form in my stomach. Finally, I nodded.
"Okay."
She smiled and hugged me tight again. Then she grabbed me by the hand and
dragged me from my seat on the bench.
"C'mon. We
should go now. The sooner the better...But first I want to raid your
closet."
"Oh Sango!
My little tomboy's become a woman!" I said dramatically. She glared at me
flatly before shrugging and continuing to drag me into my house.
**I POV**
I wandered
through the graveyard, taking my time to get to my destination. I had been
coming for the past two weeks, since the day Sango had given me the pictures.
It was kind of an
accident really. I hadn't intended to end up at the historical
cemetery-instead, I had felt drawn there, like some sort of invisible force was
pulling me in. The fact that it was two blocks from Higurashi Shrine may or may
not have played a factor.
"Don't kid
yourself..." I muttered under my breath.
I had actually
been on my way to her house that day. I just needed some sort of closure, something
to justify the intense depression I was feeling. I was tired of thinking Kagome
hated me. I needed to hear it from her. So I walked with full intentions of
pushing myself out of her life completely before I could do any more damage.
Before she became
as hopeless as I was.
But I had gotten
lost, my thoughts had consumed me so much that I hadn't realized where I was
going. Before I knew it, I stood before the gates of an ancient burial ground. Then,
that feeling had come over me-that curious tingling feeling that ran up and
down my spine. I needed to go inside.
That's where I
had found him.
Seikai Higurashi.
Kagome's father.
The moment I had
stepped through the gates I had walked straight to his grave. An eerie chill
had passed over me when I realized how coincidental it was. Too coincidental.
But that feeling
had faded away. I read the inscription beneath his name, and this immense
peacefulness and thoughtfulness had flooded my mind. I committed it to memory
within minutes.
Chances are never
given-It is up to us to take them
Now, I sat down
cross legged on the grass before his gravestone, already feeling my mind begin
to open. I began to think about Kagome, and all of the chances she would be
taking in her life, the one she would lead without me. I thought about how
happy she would be, how easily she would succeed at everything she would try
her hand at. She was special, and the world would know just how special she was
one day.
"I mean
you've seen her. She's brilliant, she's enchanting, she's so beautiful
and...you'd have to be crazy not to love her. I can't imagine why she was, you
know...alone all this time. She's so perfect. You must miss her so much-"
I suddenly
realized that I was speaking out loud. . Alone in the cemetery. To the
tombstone of Kagome's dead father.
"Maybe I am
crazy. But it's her fault. She made me this way. She did this to me, made me
feel like this. Now I`m talking to a dead guy that I never met..."
I stared at the
weatherworn marble, almost expecting an answer. It never came. But for some
reason...I wasn't disappointed. And I didn't feel so alone. So I kept talking.
"I wish my
father had a grave. So I could visit him. It's hard not knowing, you know? You
see, he disappeared. And I'm pretty sure he's dead. I think his best friend killed
him to get my mother. Now she's kinda messed up in the head too. My brother's
gone. I think he went to look for Dad. But I don't know, because he left a
couple years ago. Haven't heard from the guy since. I don't think he found him.
I think he really is dead. It would be nice to just know. To just have closure
about the whole thing. Like your daughter. I just wish I knew what she's feelin
right now. Is she still pissed, is she okay? Does she even want me
anymore...that is to say if she ever wanted me in first place. I mean, I can't
say if she did, even though that night felt like she did. But I don't know-you
see, this
is my first
time."
"I'm pretty
inexperienced with how to deal with girls and...the guys I know aren't really
much help. I don't have anyone to really turn to. Well anyway, I'm pretty sure
it meant something to her, she's not very experienced herself I guess. But that
night...it was the greatest thing ever. And I'm not talking about the whole
kiss, I mean just being with her, just that feeling. She made me so nervous,
but I <i>liked</i> it. It made me feel alive, and well-I'd do
anything to feel like that again! I just want to be with her, just make her
happy. I just wish I knew what she was feeling... I just wanna know if I still
have a chance-"
I stopped in the
middle of my soliloquy. I wanted to kick myself in the head for being so damn
blind. It just made so much sense right then. The whole reason I had been led
here in the first place, and the words that echoed over and over in my head.
Chances are never
given-It is up to us to take them...
"Fuck..."
I whispered. A smile began to form on my face, for the first time in a month. I
could feel my heart leaping with every beat, and a long forgotten confidence
coursing through my entire body. I reached in to my shirt pocket and pulled out
the picture I had been keeping there, my favorite. We had leaned together at
the table, after Faye had insisted at least a dozen times. Just the two of
us...
I brushed my
thumb over her face and smiled even wider. I finally fully appreciated the look
of contentment on her face as she rested against my shoulder. She was happy
there. With me.
I set the picture
down, propped up against the gravestone. Then I patted the top as I stood.
"Thanks Mr.
Higurashi." I said softly. Then I turned and ran out of the graveyard,
past the heavy iron gates, and on towards the shrine
Hey Jude, don't
be afraid
You were made to
go out and get her
The minute you
let her under your skin
Then you begin to
make it better
Tbc…
Please pay attention
to the times for the next few chapters, don't want ya to get confused.