On with the
angst...
Ja ne!
~Sabichan~
But I can't help
it if I'm just a fool
Always having my
heart set on you...
Two people stood
in the living room, in shock from the sorrowful noises they could hear faintly
from the room down the hall. Finally one of them broke the silence.
"Miro. Tell
me everything."
The young man
sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ward off the headache
making itself known.
"You should
sit down Shiori. It's kind of a long story."
They walked over
to the couch and sat down facing one another. He glanced over the worrying face
of the woman before him. She was still wearing her formal dress from the night
before.
The moment they
had been contacted by the hospital about Inuyasha, he had rushed over the ball
where she was with Naraku. He found them out on the terrace of the ball room,
embracing. He had been quick to break up that moment when Shiori had noticed
his presence. One look at his face and she knew something was very, very wrong.
At that moment, Naraku's cell phone began ringing. Almost immediately, they all
seemed to make the same conclusion-that this was not just a coincidence.
They arrived just
as they had started cleaning up the two boys. There seemed to be so much blood,
especially from Kouga. A thousand different scenarios ran through his head. And
the second he led Shiori into the waiting room, a whole new one popped up. Hitomi
and Souta sat in the waiting room already. Things did not look good.
Before any of
them could say a word to each other, the doctor had called the two to go see
Kagome.
Then earlier,
when they had brought Inuyasha to see her, Shiori had been frantically asking
what was going on, and who this poor girl was.
"Who did
this to her?" She had asked him.
"Kouga.
That's why Inuyasha is here as well." After she had stared in shock for a
few moments, she asked.
"How does
Inu know this girl?"
"We'll talk
later."
Then Hitomi had
asked them to step out in the hallway. They had all heard the heated argument,
but none could make out what each was saying. Just as he was about to step in,
Inuyasha had been about to leave.
Now it was all up
to him to tell his mother what they had all been keeping from her for months.
"Well a
couple of months ago Inu met a girl. At the bus stop, in the morning. It turned
out they both had the same schedules, him coming to the restaurant, she on her
way to school. So they saw each pretty much every morning. They really hit if
off and they became good friends. They both started coming earlier to meet each
other, to spend more time together- he told you my mother just wanted him to
come in earlier.
"Well
yesterday was her birthday and Inu had told her so much about us, she wanted to
come and meet us. So we closed earlier last night, and Mom made dinner for all
of us and Kagome. That's why Inu asked for that night off, why we showed up
here so early. I mean, She's a wonderful girl, Shiori really. I mean you should
see how well Sango got along with her, and she hates other girls! Um...anyway.
Dad let Inu borrow the Cadillac to take her home, and then all this
happened."
She was silent
for a moment, and he patiently waited for the obvious question that would
follow.
"Why didn't
anyone tell me?"
He took a deep calming
breath and called upon all the strength his mother had taught him.
"Because we
didn't think you'd be very...supportive."
"Well why
not?"
"Because...Shiori.
You've been so...gone. Mom's been so worried about you for years, and frankly,
since Shoji vanished, you've kind of just checked out. Then when Sesshomaru
left, you only got worse. Shiori, you've been holding onto Inuyasha for dear
life all this time. You-what you're doing is suffocating him, but he's so used
to it, that he doesn't even notice it! He's already assigned himself to live
his life with you forever, to always work for my mother, to never leave you. It's
not right Shiori- he deserves to have a life away from you."
"Are you
saying I've ruined his life?"
"No, but you
haven't done a thing to give him one."
"Miro, you
don't understand! Shoji left me to raise the boys on my own! How am I supposed
to do it all by myself?! I don't even know why he left!"
"No one does
and Shiori, I don't know if we ever will." She chocked back a sob. He took
her hand comfortingly.
"Look, we're
not blaming you for not wanting to give up. None of us have either. But you've
become so victimized, so depressed, you've already driven away your oldest son.
Now your youngest doesn't even want you know that he has hope to live life on
his own. He begged us not to tell you. Well he threatened me, but he really
begged my mother. It's been hard for her not to say anything."
"Why doesn't
Inu want me to know?"
"Because he
knows what it'll do to you. You'll start to suspect that he's going to leave
you, just like Shoji, just like Sess. Admit it, you're thinking it even
now."
She cast her eyes
downward, guiltily.
"Have I
really become such a shell of a woman? Am I that pathetic, Miro?"
"You let it
happen. You never let us help you heal. There's a difference between
hope and
obsession. You crossed that line a long time ago."
They sat silently
for a moment. The noises had stopped.
"Is he in
love with her, Miro?"
"I think
he's been in love with her since they first met. But try and get him to admit
that."
"He is
stubborn...just like his father. But maybe that's a good thing. Maybe he won't
give up either, even though they argued-"
"He gave her
the Shikon no Tama." Miroku blurted out. This drew yet another gasp from
Shiori.
"He...gave
her the Jewel?"
"He didn't
tell anyone he was going to do it. He surprised us all. She doesn't know what
it means though. She doesn't understand what that symbolizes. I only found out
myself last night after they left."
"Someone
needs to tell her." He nodded in agreement before adding
"I think you
should." She winced in shock.
"Me? I don't
even know her!"
"You do now.
You saw Kouga. You saw what Inu did to him. He's never hit anyone in his life,
and pardon my language, but he just beat the shit out of him, . She means more
to him than anything else in the world. She needs to understand that. If she
doesn't...I think Inu may be quick to follow in your footsteps."
Her eyes were
steadily trained on the door at the end of the hall. She thought about the
heartbreaking sounds that had been coming from the only family she had left in
the world.
" I need to
talk to Faye."
He nodded as she
rose from the couch.
"I'll take
you."
"I'm going
to get myself a little cleaned up first. I look like hell."
She disappeared
into her room.
**K POV**
"Kagome? Are
you ready to go?"
"Yeah
mom."
Souta pushed the
wheelchair into the hallway, towards the nurses' station. I couldn't wait to
leave. I needed to get out of that room, out of this hospital. I wanted to go
home, take a long hot bath, and then sleep in my own bed. I would've been
smiling just thinking about it, if I wasn't trying so hard not to cry.
Inuyasha's words
still rung in my ears and I found myself fingering the jewel again. I was so
confused. What was I supposed to believe? What did he mean how much I meant to
him?
Absentmindedly, I
signed my name on the release forms, and was on my way home. I was silent the
entire time, staring out the car window at the scenery passing by. We drove
past the bus stop, but I looked the other way.
We pulled into
the driveway and Grandpa and Souta helped me walk into the house and up the
stairs. Meanwhile, my mother was digging through the storage closet for some
crutches she was positive we had from when Grandpa hand broken his leg. He had
fallen down the old well after chasing Buyo in there.
"Speak of
the devil." I muttered as I glanced at the chubby cat lying on my bed.
"Cursed
Feline, move from there!" My grandfather tried to shoo him to no avail. I
sighed in annoyance.
"Move,
Buyo." The cat cheerfully meowed and jumped to the floor, sauntering out
of the room. I plopped down on my bed.
"Thanks
guys. I can take it from here." I did my best to sound sweet. I could tell
they didn't buy it, but they hesitantly left as my mother walked in.
"See! I knew
we had them! Let me just adjust them for you." She bustled about,
murmuring to herself about my height, compared to my grandfathers, then that
the buttons were so hard to press. I sat silently watching her, trying to find
at least some amusement from my mother talking to herself. Nope. Nothing
When she was
satisfied, she looked up at me. She sighed and sat down nest to me, taking my
face gently in her hands.
"Oh, my poor
baby...Look what he's done to you...."
"I'll be
fine Mom. It'll heal."
"Everything?"
Her question caught me off guard.
"Huh? What
do you mean?"
She pressed her
hand over my heart and smiled lovingly.
"Will
everything heal?"
"Mom...don't."
my voice wavered.
"Talk to me
Kagome...What happened earlier?"
"Kouga beat
the crap out of me-"
"Kagome, I
mean today.. with Inuyasha." I stiffened at his name. I was ready to start
bawling.
"I-I ..I
can't right now..."
She nodded and
smoothed down my bangs. Then she leaned forward and placed a kiss on the top of
my head.
"You talk
when you're ready. I'll be waiting."
She stood and
left the room. I exhaled sharply, still holding in the imminent tears.
I grabbed the
crutches and hobbled my way to the bathroom down the hall after I had gathered
some clothes.
I settled into
the steaming water I found waiting for me. `Thanks Souta...' I whispered
mentally.
My body began to
unwind, and my aching muscles sighed in relief.
Before I could
realize what I was doing, tears streamed down my face. I gave in and let it all
out. My anger, fear, my frustration and my confusion...my heartbreak.
"If you
had told me, this wouldn't have fucking happened!"
The anger I had
felt when he had said those words. Everything I had had believed about him came
crashing down. How easily I had trusted him and how easily he had thrown it
back in my face.
The nerve, trying
to blame this whole ordeal on me, to try to tell me I could have prevented it! And
after what we had done, after I had let him...
I began to cry
harder when I thought about what had happened under the God tree.
He had asked me
to sing for him, and I had found that I couldn't refuse. So I did, a song my
father had taught me long ago, the words springing to my lips before I knew it.
And afterwards, the way he had looked at me. Then he had kissed me. I couldn't
have stopped myself from kissing him back if I had tried. I was drawn to him.
It was perfect. He
was shy, somewhat hesitant, and that alone made me bold. I took charge and
deepened our kiss. He reacted and before I knew it, he was the dominant one.
I'd never been
kissed like that before. Never with such intensity, that I could feel it all
the way down to my toes. I found myself wanting to get closer to him, closer. I
didn't think too much of it when I felt his hand slip under my dress-but when I
felt his other hand on my breast...well that kind of got me.
I'd never really
been touched there. I had never let Kouga get that far, not even when he was
still a sweet gentlemen.
This was
uncharted territory for me. His equal tenseness told me it was the same for
him.
I think all of
two seconds passed before I moved again. I pushed forward into his hand,
finally deciding that I wanted him to touch me, I wanted him to be the first.
For the first
time, I had felt myself become aroused. I tried again to get closer, but my
knees were so weak. Then he lifted me so effortlessly onto his lap, like I
weighed no more than a child. I didn't know he was so strong.
A shiver ran
through my body as I thought about what had happened next. I could feel him
beneath me, and he was just as excited as I was, if not more. He brushed his
erection against the pleasure spot between my thighs, and I just lost it. I
starting grinding myself against the hardness below me, tendrils of pleasure
coursing through my body. No one had ever made me feel that way, and for some
reason it made me happy that he was the one causing it.
"Inuyasha."
I whispered as more tears made their way down my bruised face. I had called his
name last night, called to him for help. And he had answered. I didn't know the
full extent of the damage, but I knew he had really kicked the shit out of
Kouga. He had broken his jaw, knocked him unconscious. Souta had said that even
after he was out, Inuyasha just kept hitting him...
I sighed aloud.
This was so hard
to understand. Weighing all of his actions against the single sentence he had
uttered. But I couldn't forget it.
Maybe because
deep down inside I realized he was probably right. Maybe it was all my fault. Maybe
I was lying-maybe I didn't trust him.
"No..." I whispered.
That was
impossible. If I didn't trust him, I would never have called out for him. I
would have called for Souta, or Grandpa. But no...I called out for him....
**I POV**
I woke up a few
hours later, still slumped against my door. That position certainly did nothing
to ease my already aching muscles. I pulled myself up and unlocked the door.
"Mom?"
I called out. My voice echoed unanswered through the empty apartment.
`Where did she
go?' I stumbled
into the bathroom and found a note taped there. I read it aloud.
"Inu, I'm
sorry I`m not home with you, but there are some things that I have to do. There
are things that I need to make up for. I am at Faye's, so call if you need anything.
And don't worry sweetie, Miroku explained everything. I'm sorry for the last
eleven years.
Love, MOM X O X O."
"What the
hell?" I muttered. I wasn't sure what she meant by making up for things.
I shrugged and
set the note back down.
I took a hot shower,
washing the stains of blood from my hair, and letting the steam carry away all
of my ridiculous hopes and dreams of being happy with Kagome.
I tried to bite
back the second onslaught of tears, but failed.
I hadn't realized
it would hurt this much. I had opened myself completely to her, even told her
about Kikyo, my deepest, darkest secret. And she kicked me out.
Said she didn't
want to see me.
And it was all my
own fault. If I hadn't let that stupid remark slip out, then she wouldn't be so
angry at me. She wouldn't have made me leave her...
Last night had
been the greatest night of my life. And also the worst since the night my
father didn't come home.
I had held her,
felt her, tasted the sweetness of those lips with a hunger she seemed to share.
I began to wonder what would have happened if Kouga hadn't decided to make his
grand entrance.
I would have told
her. Told her what my gift meant, what she meant to me. Told her how I couldn't
stop thinking about her, how she haunted my dreams. How just the thought of her
name had filled me with such peace.
Now it only
filled me with pain.
She would never
want to see me again. The look in her eyes said as much.
Perhaps it was
for the best. What could I offer her anyway? I worked two jobs, lived with my
mother, and had never made any plans for the future, let alone even thought
about it.
All I had to give
her was myself.
And right now, I
felt completely worthless....
Tbc…
sniff...sniff....how
sad...