P_M: **waves** Hi everyone! Remember this fic? **Waves around some papers covered with dust and looks at the blank faces** Hmm… guess not. ‘o,O` Well if you do remember this fic and you don’t wanna kill me for taking so long to write more of it then have fun reading! ^,^

Disclaimers: I don’t own Gundam Wing or its characters but can I borrow them? I also don’t own “Unforgiven” by Metallica I simply borrowed the song and changed a few of the words to suit my needs, so please don’t sue me ‘cause I’m poor. ^-^

Innocence lost, Blackness Ensues part 10A

Written by: P_M

The centered italics are the song lyrics and I should warn you that this entire thing is actually a dream that Hilde’s having, more flashbacks (this story seems to be riddled with them), I’m hoping it might explain a bit about her training or at least let the readers know what some of her training was like. I hope it makes sense -_-`

************************************************************************

Standing still I subtly glance around the large training room. The Lieutenant had taken me here, this place known as the forbidden sector. The man in white who had greeted us upon entry to the sector sent a smile my way.

“Ah yes Lieutenant, so this is the one?”

“Yes Sir, she’s the best cadet we have, her scores for intelligence, hand to hand, and piloting are astronomical, we’ve never had better.”

“All right Lieutenant thank you for your help, you may leave now.” As soon as the Lieutenant is out of the building the man turns to me, “So cadet, what is your name?”

“Hilde Schbeiker sir.”

“Ahh, so you’re a German, good that’s a good strong blood line there and believe me Miss Schbeiker you’re going to need good strong blood to survive this.”
Survive? Survive what?

“I beg your pardon Sir but what do you mean?” I don’t like the way this sounds.

“Well Miss Schbeiker you’ve been chosen because of your immense capabilities as a soldier. You will be taking part in a top-secret project in which we will make you into an ultimate soldier. It will be hard but once done no one will be able to beat you. Are you up to the challenge Cadet?”

Grinning I give him a quick salute, “Yes Sir I believe I am ready.”

“Well Schbeiker, welcome to hell, if you’re lucky you might just survive it.”

New blood joins this earth
And quickly she’s subdued
Though constant pain disgrace
The young girl learns their rules

Breathing heavily I run through the dark building, suddenly half of the floor drops out from under my feet. With a grunt I push my feet against a large chunk of the falling floor and vault into the air. Quickly I grab a ceiling beam and hold on tightly.

Looking down I see nothing but darkness where the floor had once been. Pulling myself up I stand atop the beam, assessing the situation before me, I could jump from beam to beam to the end of the room where the exit door is located. Leaping to another beam I make my way towards the exit and to the end of this damned course, I have been training for only a month and so far nothing had been easy, I swear they were actually trying to kill me with some the courses they put me through. The beam beneath me creaks as it begins to snap under my weight.

Leave it to those assholes to make everything in this damned room collapsible.

With a curse I leap to another beam, I hardly allow myself to land before I spring to yet another beam; I continue this until I reach the end of the room. Landing on the last beam I give a cry as electricity shoots through my body; the beam was fucking rigged to shock me.

Losing my balance I fall of the beam, as I plummet down I push my feet against the beam receiving another shock. Ignoring the pain as I continue to push and send my body flying through the air and, conveniently for me, the nearby exit door.

With a grunt I hit the floor, breathing heavily I look up as a pair of boots make their way towards me, it’s one of my ‘trainers’, well whoop-de-friggin’-do.

“Well done Schbeiker, but next time do it faster.” With eyes narrowing in rage I glare, I’d like to see the bastard run this stupid course and see if he could do any better.

With time the child draws in
This whipping girl done wrong
Deprived of all her thoughts
This young woman struggles on and on she’s known
A vow unto her own
That never from this day
Her will they’ll take away

Gasping I run through yet another darkened room, damned courses. Lunging to the left and the right I dodge the lasers that are constantly shooting in my direction. With a quick motion I flip myself over a huge concrete barrier and land silently on the floor.

I barely stop for a second on my flight through the room; I can’t afford to stop, if I stop who knows what new little surprise would happen. Further down the hall four armed guards stand waiting for me with weapons raised, they’re robotic guards with an aim that’s much better than any normal human.

Increasing speed I launch myself at the guards dodging their shots. Flipping over the guards, I land behind one and use the metallic body as a shield. Grabbing the gun out of its hand I dispose of the other three with quick efficient shots. Placing the gun against the back of my shield’s head I blow his wired brain to hell, the tech guys would be pissed when this was over.

A sudden burning pain lances through my shoulder causing me to grunt in pain. Starting to run again the number of lasers firing at me is increased, looking down I see blood coating my shoulder, and running down my chest and arm in thick rivulets.

Shit!

A loud blaring sounds as the dark room is suddenly bathed in light, I have been wounded, mission failed.

“Schbeiker! What the fuck was that? You know damned well that each mission is to be done without wounds! Obviously you’re not good enough yet. Does this mean we need to up the level on the courses or is it too much for you?” A man in all black appear sneering at me with malice, sadistic bastard.

I shoot a galre at the man yelling at me, he can damn well suck my imaginary dick; I damned well could have finished the course even with my wound. This little demand that I complete every mission in perfect condition is almost impossible; wounds are inevitable in some of these stupid courses. What they want was beyond perfection, they want a fucking machine. I would have to work even harder; I refuse to let these idiotic trainers break me.

What I’ve felt
What I’ve know
Never shined through in what I’ve shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

Leaning against the wall in the long hall I take a drag from my cigarette and watched the men scurrying around me. I have been in this damned place for six months now; any fat that had been on my body was long gone and now was replaced with the lean, hard muscles that only came from intense daily workouts and severe training.

“Schbeiker!” Turning I see one my trainers, the one I had for no reason dubbed ‘Ken’, after all he kinda looks like a Ken doll that had been stuck through a grinder, is motioning to me, “Get your ass over here!”

With a shrug my cigarette is snuffed out on the floor and I follow him.

What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

The programmed rain thunders down on me, standing still I study the building in front of me, my target was in there. The voice of trainer 5 is echoing in my head, “Kill him Schbeiker, kill him, he could grow to be a problem that we can’t afford to have against us.”  I have been sent to L1 to kill a boy; my superiours have recently received word that he was being put through training for an attack against Earth.

Apparently he was the son of a known terrorist named Odin Lowe, they say that he needs to be dealt with and they had decided this would be a great training mission for me.

Quietly I let myself into the building, giving myself a second my eyes adjust to the blackness, over time I have developed damned good night vision. Slipping the gun out of my holster I ghost through the place searching for my target, I don’t want to kill anyone, dear god he’s only 14, my age.

Looking down I see the hand holding my gun is shaking, I didn’t want to do this, the picture I had seen of the boy flashes through my head, messy brown hair, blue eyes that still shined. I can’t do it, I know with a deep certainty that I can’t kill this boy. However I can kill whoever had ratted him out, and make it look like I had killed the boy.

My mind rushes through any possibilities of how to get out of this, I can make it look as if Lowe’s son had killed the rat and then he had been killed by me, that would take care of my problem and is the best solution. Funny how I have no problem killing an adult but I can’t kill a peer, my trainers will no doubt kill me if they ever find out about this lapse.

Leaving the building I go about executing my new revised mission. That boy, Odin Lowe’s son had something I lost when I was put into the training program, he still had a chance to live a normal life, I hadn’t seen the blankness in his eyes, if he was lucky it would never be there.

They dedicate their lives
To running all of hers
She tries to please them all
This bitter woman she it
Throughout her life the same
She’s battled constantly
This fight she cannot win
A tired woman they see no longer cares
The old woman than prepares
To die regretfully
That old woman here is me

The muscles in my arms clench and strain as I control the movements of my mobile suit, the battle is fierce as I’m attacked from all sides. Sweat runs down my forehead and back as the enemy suits are destroyed, damned Alliance had decided to attack the base. As soon as the attack was launched I had been sent to neutralize the situation, alone.

Figures.

I grunt as my MS took a shot, gritting my teeth I continue to fight back. Adrenaline rushes through my veins as the fight goes on. My MS takes another shot jolting me violently, I finally snap, screaming in rage I begin to fightt more fiercely then before, a red mist begins to swim in front of my eyes.

Finally all the mobile suits sent by the Alliance lay around me in shreds, panting heavily I take in all the destruction that I had wrought.

What I’ve felt
What I’ve known
Never shined through in what I’ve shown
Never be
Never see
Won’t see what might have been

Screaming I sit up in bed, I had the same dream again, that dream about my parents, my parents being murdered. I haven’t had the dreams for such a long time but lately they have been coming back more and more. I’ve  been in heavy training for sixteen months, and it still continues to grow in it’s intensity, I’ve been killing so many Alliance soldiers in training missions that I could qualify as my own damned army. I don’t feel guilt for killing them anymore, they’ve trained the guilt out of me, it’s a weakness but the more people I kill the more the dream comes back, haunting me with my parents’ screams and the shots fired from the soldier’s gun that killed them.

Muttering a curse I jump out of the small bed that has been mine for the past sixteen months, months of hell. The man in white, I call him Doc now, hadn’t been lying when he had told me that I was entering hell.

What I’ve felt
What I’ve know
Never shined through in what I’ve shown
Never free
Never me
So I dub thee unforgiven

With knife in hand I skillfully dodge my attacker giving a low growl I  sweep with the knife jamming it to hilt into his kidneys. Spinning around in a circle my knife returns slashing across the jugular, it’s time for this little dance to end, I have bigger fish to fry at the moment. As my oppenent falls I reach out and catch the body, heaving him over my shoulders I take the corpse to a place where he won’t be found till morning at the least. Sprinting through the halls my eyes roam searching for my target, the tech room. As I come to the door I reach into a pouch attached to my waist removing a small box and some wires with it. It was electrical lock, several motions and one shock later the door slides open silently.

Once in the room I glide to the nearest computer, with fingers flying over the keys I find, copy, and load the needed files onto a disk. With that task done I tuck the disk back into the pouch and depart leaving a broken door and a dead body as the only evidence, they would never know which files I took, another practice mission completed without a hitch. My trainers would be pleased.

You labeled me
I’ll label you
So I dub thee unforgiven

Sitting in a chair I stare out the window, as the Doc walksover to me I look up, “Hilde there’s a problem with the program.”

Confusion and a lsight undcertainty flit through me, “What type of problem sir? I thought my training was almost complete.” I have been training for two years, how could there be a problem now when the training was on the edge of completeness?

Looking away from the Doc I see another man walk in. I’ve had never seen his ugly mug before, “So this is the subject?”

Subject? They haven’t called me that in a while. I tune out the Doc’s reply, it was when the man said, “What a pity,” that I snap back to reality, pity? What the hell did he mean by that?

Looking back at the Doc I listen as he starts talking, “Hilde, it’s late you may have a three hour rest period before we meet to discuss your future missions.”
With a nod I leave the Doc and the strange guy behind, he thinks I’m a pity? Well screw him.

***********************************************************************

**Pops out of lurkdom** Hehehe, whoops took me a while to get this part out huh? Anybody remember this fic? **listens to the crickets** Actually I think it’s about a year old now huh? Lol, well for anyone who does remember this fic and reads it I hope you enjoy! ^,^ Cal and Saba thanks for going over some this part for me and Cal thanks for the grammar check you did! I guess I should warn everyone that my writing has probably gotten a little rusty, so bear with me please, I’ll do a rewrite to this part if needed.

Disclaimers: The only place I ever will own GW is in my dreams and this story is just me borrowing the characters so please don’t sue ‘cause all I can give you is my little brother.

Innocence lost, Blackness ensues
Part 10b

Written by: P_M

************************************************************************

Gasping I sat up in bed knocking the sheets away from my sweaty body. Hardly any light was shining through the windows letting me know it was just before dawn.
That was an interesting dream, to say the least.

Muttering a curse I hopped off the bed and stalked into the bathroom, damn dreams. With a tug the minimal clothing I had worn to bed fell to the tiled floor and I stepped lightly into the shower.

As the water beat down over my body I began to think about tonight, tonight was the night. I wasn’t sure what the outcome would be or what exactly would happen but I had to be prepared for just about everything, including the fact that I might be wounded. Hell I was expecting quite a few wounds on this little jaunt.
When it came to weapons and technology I was very well stocked and ready for whatever may come. However, with the chance that people would be taking shots at me it would be a great idea to get some type of protection vest. At least I could try to prevent some of my vital organs from getting peppered by bullets.

The only problem with body armor is that it was restricted on L2 except for law officers; that law had been passed when it was realized that some of the worst characters possible were stocking up on it. When it came to mobs and criminals possessing body armor it would have made it very hard for anyone to wound them in order to catch them, thus the restrictions were put up.

Not surprisingly I really wasn’t up to breaking into the local police station. The risks would be too damned high. Besides for all I knew they could have Preventers staked out at the local stations and I didn’t want to run into any of them. When it came to buying body armor on the black market the stuff sold was often bootlegged and archaic to the point where only damned few flying objects were stopped from piercing the flesh. The material for making the new armor was classified so the black market had to settle for that old Kevlar crap that the police had stopped using about a hundred years ago on account that it could no longer protect from half of the guns out there.

Shaking my orange head around I got out of the shower and rubbed my body dry with a nearby towel. I didn’t have much to do today other then sit around and wait for tonight. It probably would be a good idea to break into the so-called base under Eddy’s shop again but since the meeting was tonight they could be down there preparing or they could have beefed up security (not that they had security last time I went there).

I could feel my emotions completely shutting down like they used to before I went out on missions, it’s amazing how quickly old habits, no matter how long they had been forgotten, can come back into play when needed. For years I had lived with Duo in a naïve state of mind never knowing what I had once been. Now that I knew I had to realize the truth of what it could mean. Was there really any point of me ever thinking Duo and I had a chance after this? Not only did he consider me capable of murdering Relena, but the Hilde he was used to, his Hilde was someone whom he protected religiously. He had always acted as if I was some delicate, ethereal being who needed to be protected from the world, something that had always annoyed me. But how would I deal with that now knowing that with my skills, I could easily defend both him and myself? Of course there was still another problem-despite all drawbacks I still loved him.

“Shit,” stepping out of the shower I continued to curse myself. My love for Duo could very well destroy me. I mean what if everything did work out and we got back together, would I ever be able to trust him again knowing that at one point he hadn’t trusted me enough? I wasn’t as sweet and forgiving as Relena constantly holding open my arms despite all emotional wounds given. Shaking my head I snorted in disgust, if I kept this up I might start crying again, becoming an emotional wreck was something that I really didn’t need right now.

Quickly I left the bathroom and put on my cargos and a black tank top. Time to go for a run. My mind was becoming muddled; I needed to be clear-headed for this. I could not afford to let any emotions get in my way-not today. After yanking on some shoes I couldn’t stop myself from grabbing the boot knife and the .44 and shoving both into my waistband. Better safe then sorry.

Locking the motel door behind me I took off at a full run, screw jogging. With all attention focused on my feet, I purposely steered clear of the way that led to the park. That was the last place I needed to go.

It was so early that I was the only person out save for an occasional car ambling down the road. I ran for a good hour or more-despite my years with Duo I was still in top physical shape thanks to the heavy-duty work I did at the scrap yard.

I had wanted to join the Preventers at one point but Duo had balked at the thought of me putting myself into a job where I could be in danger. I had dropped the subject for his sake. But not any more. Today I would become a hunter that I had once been, and to be honest, I was looking forward to it. The old rush was coming back, the flow of adrenaline, the love of danger and the determination that had helped me to thrive during my missions of old.

As I headed back to my motel room a wave of uneasiness washed over me. My instincts were screaming at me that something was wrong.

Standing still on the sidewalk, my gaze swept across my surroundings. I felt as if I was being watched, hunted. Like hell would I stand for that. Bending over, I made a show of being tired and taking a breather while I continued to scan the area looking for the source of my uneasiness.

A flash of movement in the bushes across the street caught my eye almost instantly. I could feel a feral grin spread across my face. Looks like I was going to get more exercise than I had originally planned, good. Shaking my head slightly at the stupidity of the follower I took off running again.

There was a wooded jogging path about a mile away from my present location, it would be the ideal place to catch and question my little hunter who had just unknowingly become the prey in this game. Subtly I kept track of my follower, whoever it was they weren’t far behind, keeping up yet still trying to keep out of sight. They were doing a suck ass job of it too, idiot.

Once on the wooded path I doubled my speed to lose the person behind me. As soon as I was out of sight I leapt off the path and into a nearby tree. Drawing out my .44 I sat on the branch and patiently waited for my prey to appear.

A few minutes passed before he finally caught up. Even worse he had left behind his cover to run on the path and hopefully catch up with me. Smiling at his stupidity, I listened as he bitched.

“Shit! Where the hell did she go!?” Uh huh, he could have tried to be a little less obvious, I swear why did so many of the bad guys seem to complete idiots? It took away any chance of an actual challenge. Panting the man looked around and took off running again.

I could feel my body tensing as he neared my tree; lightening fast I hurdled out of the tree and tackled him to the ground. A quick hit to the neck rendered him unconscious and at my mercy, (not that I was feeling very merciful right now). Sticking my hands under his shoulders I dragged him off the path and into the nearby foliage. With the gun back in the waistband of my cargos, I withdrew the boot knife and waited for him to wake up from his little nap.

It didn’t take long before his eyes opened. Before he could make a noise my hand was over his mouth, his eyes widening in fear as I gave him a feral smile. Scaring the shit out of him would not only make my job easier, but it would give me extreme pleasure, as well.

“Why were you following me?”

Why bother dancing around the point, I wanted to know something and I wanted to know it now.

His head started to shake in a negative but my blade pressed against his jugular stopped that.

“Don’t lie to me jackass, I really, really hate liars.”

To illustrate my displeasure the pressure of the knife on his throat increased, “Now talk before I get tired and my hand slips. You scream or talk too loud for my taste and you die, got that?” As he acknowledged my demand I removed my hand from his mouth.

“It…it was Brick, dude wanted me to keep an eye on you! He said the Preventers were asking about you…” Sweat ran down his face as he spoke fearfully, his eyes going down as if trying to see the blade pressed against his throat.

I allowed myself a minute and stared straight into his eyes silently, I knew the picture I made covered in black with a posture the exuded danger and menace. When needed, I knew how to look intimidating despite my size. And it seemed to be needed, because he wasn’t telling me the whole story.

Growling with narrowed eyes I pressed the blade down a tad more, “Don’t tell me half of the story! I want the whole of it now!”

His eyes were taking on the glazed look of absolute horror, “I can’t tell you… He’ll kill me!”

Snorting in disgust I raised an eyebrow and looked down at the knife I held, “And just what do you think I’m going to do if you don’t tell me what I want to know? Apologize for getting you dirty, bake you some friggin’ cookies and send you on your merry little way?”

Sarcasm rang in my voice. I was already planning on killing him now, regardless of what he told me. I just couldn’t afford to let him get back to Brick. The big meathead still underestimated me to a point; if this guy told Brick about our little outing there was a chance I could lose some of that advantage. It was a nonnegotiable point.

The man started to shake his head; it looked like he was developing a twitch he was so panicked. Was Brick really that scary to this guy? I could take him down no problem, and here this guy was practically pissing himself in fear of Brick, “I can’t!”

Maybe the boot knife was a little too tame to convince him of my intentions, quickly not giving him a reaction time the knife disappeared and the .44 reappeared within my hand. I couldn’t actually shoot him, the gun didn’t have a silencer, and the report would be heard, but if the gun intimidated him into spilling then I wouldn’t mind waving it around a bit. The .44 took the place of where the knife had recently been, “So what you’re saying is that you’d prefer me to blow away most of your neck and face instead of doing a simple slit job with the knife? Fine by me, now talk or the brush behind you is going to change colors.” I cocked the gun to add to the scary effect.

“I… I…” As he stuttered a new smell hit my senses, oh lord the blubbering idiot had just wet himself, gross.

“You know jackass they have toilets for that. Now talk or are you going to piss some more?” Growling I stared the scared man down. I wondered if Brick would particularly care if this guy disappeared.

“As I look at it you have a choice, either you can tell me the rest of the story and you can walk away or you can not tell me and die. Which do you prefer?” As I talked I masked my true intent, no sense in panicking the man to the point where I couldn’t pump him for any more information.

“B-Brick wanted to make sure that you weren’t squealing to the Preventers! He…he said to keep an eye on you ‘cuz you might be workin’ for them!” Stuttering with fear the man looked at me with eyes that had glazed over.

Actually killing him now didn’t seem like too good of an idea, Brick’s little suspicion and this guy following me could work out for the better if I used it right.
Snarling with supposed anger I went off on the terrified man, “Me go to the Preventers!? Is Brick out of his friggin’ mind, I go to the Preventers and I’ll get my ass thrown in a cell and possibly put on death row! Let’s put it this way pal you’re damned lucky you aren’t a Preventer ‘cuz if you were you’d be dead by now.” Let him go and report this to Brick, the more paranoid about the Preventers he thought I was the less likely he’d think that I’d be working for them.

With a snort of disgust I threw the man away from me and holstered the gun, “I’m letting you go this time asshole but I catch you doing such an obvious tailing job again and I’m going hunting, got that?”

Standing up I went back to the trail and resumed my run, I wondered if all of the Assassins were such pansies, if that was the case I wouldn’t have much trouble tonight.

Tbc..