This is different from the previous chapters so far. How so? Read on to find out… =)

Disclaimer: I would rather choose short-lived freedom, than being embraced by an illusion forever. (Camui Gackt, Oasis)

Altered Memory

Chapter 4 – Part I: Delve into the Man’s Mind

At first, Kenshin thought she was faking to gain his sympathy. Angrily, he reached down and shook her, but she didn’t move. Her greenish pallor and her limpness convinced him the faint was real and a sickening fear punched him below the belt. Swearing, he gathered her up into his arms.

It was about a quarter of a mile back to the house but she felt no weight at all, her body as frail as a bird’s, only a tiny pulse fluttering at her temple to show she was still alive. How did she manage to look so innocent and childlike? he thought savagely, looking down at the thick lashes fanning against her bloodless cheeks, her raven-black head pressed against his chest.

The shock had been like a kick in the gut when she’d walked into Yoshida’s sitting room yesterday; thinner, although she’d always been delicately built; different, with her hair cut short instead of lying down her back, but he’d known her instantly. It was like being caught in a timeslip, the fingers of that old obsession clutching at him again.

Why had she come here, disturbing his peace of mind when it had taken years to get her out of his system? Hadn’t she wrought enough havoc then?

He’d watched her grow from a sweet, appealing kid to a highly desirable young woman. Even at sixteen or seventeen, he’d sensed in her the capacity for passion, and the first time he had kissed her, that passion had burst into flame with an urgency that had shaken and delighted him. And like a fool, he believed it was a response she felt for him alone.

That evening of Misao’s birthday party when Kaoru had enticed him into the summer-house at Merrifields should have warned him she was her mother’s daughter and not as sweetly innocent as she appeared. He could have taken her then without protest, and might well have done had not Shura’s fortunate appearance reminded him he had a more urgent priority.

His lips tightened as he remembered his incredulity when he’d heard that Kaoru was up on a charge of manslaughter. At first, he’d been convinced there was some terrible mistake, until they’d told him the facts, that at the party she had drunk herself out of her mind, has taken her brother’s car without permission and had killed a child in mindless progress. Even then, when his first shock had subsided, he’d felt pity for her and concern, believing he knew what the knowledge that she had taken a life would do to a girl as sensitive as Kaoru. But he’d been wrong about that too. Kaoru’s sensitivity had been only in his own imagination. If she could show so little concern for the man who had been the only father she’d known, how could she care about some child who was a stranger to her?

God, but she’d got off lightly! Merely a conviction for drunken driving because her defense had pleaded that the child had contributed to its own death by being out at that time of night on a bicycle without lights. All it had cost Kaoru was her license – Yukio had paid her heavy fine – and in return, she had laid on him a death sentence. For a few days before her trial, her stepfather had a massive stroke. But she had never, not even once, been to see him.  Instead, she had taken off for America to her mother, and life that sickened him. Kenshin only hoped Yukio never heard any of the stories. He especially hoped and prayed that Enishi Mishima’s drunken boast that he’d had Kaoru himself more than once hadn’t come to Yukio’s ears. It had taken Kenshin a long time to get over that piece of information himself.

But he had gotten over it. He’d cut himself off from the social circle that had once included Kaoru so he didn’t have to listen to any more stories of her flitting from lover to lover like her mother, had worked like a slave to drive out the disillusion. He hadn’t lacked for female company but had made sure his relationships were of the casual variety.

It was only recently he’d felt the need for something more permanent, the need for a home and a family f his own. He still hadn’t decided where that home would be but he had chosen the wife who would share it. Tomoe was ideally suitable. The only child of an industrialist, she was wealthy enough in her own right not to be merely attracted by his money. She was sophisticated enough not to expect him to be like some love-sick boy. His life was mapped out the way he wanted it to go and he was damned if he’d let Kaoru Kamiya’s sudden, unwelcome reappearance disturb things.

Angrily, he shouldered open the back door of Vine House and faced the accusing looks of the two women hovering in the kitchen.

“She’s hurt!” Meg stepped forward to brush back the sweat-dampened tendrils of hair clinging to Kaoru’s forehead.

“She’s only fainted,” Kenshin replied tersely.

“But what happened? Where was she?” Yoshida demanded. When dinnertime was approaching and Kaoru still hadn’t returned from the winery, she had sent Kenshin in search for her.

A dull flush stained Kenshin’s cheekbones. “I set her to work in the vineyard this afternoon. She was till there.”

Both women stared at him in horrified disbelief. “Kenshin, you didn’t! are you mad?” He had never seen his aunt so angry. “Get her up to her room at once. Meg, call Dr. Taseki and tell him what’s happened, then come upstairs and help me to undress her.”

Wordlessly, Kenshin carried his burden across the hall and up the stairs, wanting to be irritated by the women’s panic but deeply uneasy himself at Kaoru’s continuing unconsciousness. He laid her on the bed and stood looking down at her, feeling unaccustomedly helpless as he willed her to come round.

“Whatever possessed you, Kenshin?” His aunt’s voice behind him startled him, the fact that she had struggled up the stairs unaided a measure of her anxiety. “Dr. Taseki specifically said she was not to get overtired.”

“She really is recovering from an accident then?” He pushed his hands distractedly through his red hair. “I thought that was just an excuse so she wouldn’t be asked to do much work.”

Yoshida stared at him in bewilderment. “Why on earth should you think that? I don’t understand you, Kenshin. I’ve never known you to dislike someone on sight before – and for no reason that I can see.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her all he knew about the woman she was defending staunchly, but instead he said, “You have to admit she was very evasive when I asked her about this so-called accident last night.”

“And that was enough to make you assume–” Yoshida sighed and limped across the room to sink tiredly on the edge of the bed. “Maybe she was foolish it to play it down like that, but that’s Kaoru. She didn’t want it known what had actually happened to her, but Dr. Genzai told me what a very close brush with death she’d had. And he trusted me to look after her!” She glared at her nephew accusingly. “If he can forgive you for this, I don’t know if I can. What that bomb blast failed to do, it seems you’re well on your way to accomplishing.”

Kenshin stared at her, anger and disbelief fighting a losing battle against her certainty, but before he could say a word, Meg rushed into the room. “Dr. Taseki will be right over.”

Yoshida levered herself to her feet. “Perhaps you’ll leave us now, Kenshin. We must get Kaoru into bed.”

Biting back the questions that seethed in his mind, Kenshin glanced once more at the still, white-faced figure on the bed before walking out of the room that seemed to have no imprint of the woman who had occupied it for almost a week. Either Kaoru had taken his aunt in so completely, or there were things he ought to know. Running downstairs, he rushed to his study. It was time he did what he ought to have done the moment Kaoru Mishima Kamiya walked back into his life. Picking up the phone, he dialed Dr. Genzai’s number.


The little mare broke into a gallop and Kaoru shouted aloud in joy, her long hair streaming behind her, the wind hot in her face. So drunk on the triumph of outstripping Kenshin that she never saw the rabbit hole, and the next moment she was sailing over Marinka’s head and crashing to the turf. Her head felt light as if it didn’t belong to her and she hurt everywhere, but Kenshin’s arms were around her and she knew she was safe. She wanted him to hold her like this forever and ever. She wanted to tell him but something seemed to have happened to her tongue it worried her, not being able to speak, because if she didn’t tell Kenshin how much she wanted him to go on holding her, he might let her go.

And then his arms were suddenly gone and there was no more safety anywhere. She was alone, roaming the face of the earth, searching… searching… the cold streets of London, the burning African bush, the shattered, war-torn Middle East. She could sense again the tension that never relaxed, the fear that was a familiar taste in her mouth. The street with its bullet and bomb-scarred buildings was busy but was tense and uneasy with everyone hurrying. She heard the whine of the shell and grasped her companion’s arm, felt the terror as they cringed together, looking behind them, saw the building heave a split second before the blast threw them forward. She screamed…

Hard hands gripped her shoulders and forced her back against the pillows. She opened dazed, fearful eyes to see Kenshin Himura’s grim face staring down at her and for a moment thought she was still in the grip of the nightmare.



Do you agree with Kenshin's reasoning? I think maybe now we can at least understand where his annoying attitude comes from…

Hmmm, so how was it? It's different this time, right? I just wanted to take a different approach this time! =)