A/N: Here’s another installment for you guys! You will now know what Kaoru and Kenshin’s past relationship is. How exciting! Sano will also make an appearance! I warn you again that this is AU, people! That’s all… forge on and read!

Disclaimer: Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.

Altered Memory

Chapter 1 – Part II: Journey

That had been two days ago. Kaoru turned from the bathroom mirror and began to dress, pulling on the cotton skirt and shirt she wore now that she was allowed out of bed during the day. Not that she had really expected Dr. Genzai to come up with anything. With the best will in the world, he couldn’t work miracles. She couldn’t possibly afford the fees any private convalescent home he might know of would demand, and he would hardly go around asking any of his friends to take her in, even if she’d been willing to accept the charity of strangers.

Anyway, the almoner had given her the name and address of a small private hotel she could move into when the hospital discharged her tomorrow. It solved her most immediate accommodation problem, even though it left her future for the next six months highly problematical. The hotel charges for room and board, comparatively modest as they were, would run through her savings before the first month was up. As Dr. Genzai had said, her life the last six years had often been hard and hazardous, but at least, she had always known she had a bed to sleep in, food – though sometimes unpalatable and not very plentiful – to eat and congenial company to share her burdens. It made her feel threateningly vulnerable to know she on her own, that for the next six months she had to feed and house herself on pathetically small resources and at the same time, build up her strength to resume her work.

Tears had actually flooded her eyes before she stiffened her backbone, despising herself for succumbing to self-pity. She began briskly to clean the bath. Once she had been discharged, from the hospital she would have more than enough time on her hands to look for somewhere cheaper to live. And as soon as she had overcome this sill tendency to weep at the drop of a hat, maybe she would be able to find a part-time job.

The ward was still humming when she returned to it, visitors huddled around each bed. Kaoru always chose visiting times to have her bath, knowing she could have leisurely soak without anyone battering impatiently on the door. And it made her feel less conscious that there was never anyone to rush in to sit beside her bed.

But today as soon as she pushed open the door the little dark-haired student nurse pounced on her. “Miss Kamiya, I was just coming to find you. You have a visitor.”

“Dr. Genzai!” In spite of warning herself this visit might mean nothing, Kaoru couldn’t help a sudden stirring of relief as the gray-haired man rose from the chair beside her empty bed.

“Why so surprised to see me?” he asked as he handed her into the chair and himself perched on the edge of the bed. “Didn’t I say I’d be in touch?”

“Yes, I know, but-” Kaoru flushed. “I know my problem’s very small beer compared with the ones you have to solve everyday.”

“The problem of someone you care for is never trivial,” he admonished. “And I have solved it. In fact, you’ve solved a problem for me too, or at least the problem of a very dear friend of mine.”

“I have?” Again, Kaoru felt that weakening surge of relief, although she was intrigued to know what he meant.

“I’ve found you a job,” he said triumphantly, and Kaoru’s jaw sagged in astonishment.

“But – but I thought you said-” she began.

“And I meant exactly what I said, but this is rather a special job. Let me explain.” He settled himself more comfortably. “An old friend of mine, a Mrs. Yoshida Soseki, is due to have a replacement operation on a badly arthritic hip, but unfortunately a couple of weeks ago, she caught a nasty virus infection that’s pulled her down badly. What she needs is not so much nursing as a watchdog to make sure she builds up her strength again sufficiently to face the operation. Her nephew’s been trying to persuade her to agree to having a nurse, but she’s been very stubborn about it, refusing to have ‘someone starchy fussing over her and bossing her about’ as she puts it. A very independent lady is Yoshida.” His voice was wry, but betrayed a wealth of respect and affection for his troublesome friend.

“Well, I’ve been to see her,” he went on. “I’ve told her about your predicament, and frankly the idea that you’re both in the same position – that you too need to recover your health and strength – tickles her fancy and has removed all her prejudices about having a nurse in the house.” He grinned complacently. “Actually, it’s a very neat solution. Your job will be to see she follows a strict regimen – a regimen you’ll follow yourself, of course – while Yoshida will see herself as looking after you, so she won’t fell her independence is threatened. And both I and her family can relax, knowing there’s someone in the house trained to spot any signs that she’s not responding to the building-up treatment as she should.”

It sounded too good to be true, to have companionship and a roof over her head and still feel she was earning her keep. “You’re sure there really is a job for me to do?” Kaoru asked doubtfully. “I’d be most terribly embarrassed if I thought this friend of yours was taking me in out of charity.”

The doctor’s gray bushy eyebrows shot up towards his hairline. “You’re a fine one to knock charity, Kaoru. Don’t think I don’t know where the salary you could have saved to see you through an emergency like this has gone.”

Stunned that this man appeared to know very much, her lips parted in a gasp, then mortified color stained her neck and flooded into her cheeks. “I don’t see that any small donations I might have made in the past to help people in real need entitles me to sponge on your friend for six months, Dr. Genzai,” she said in a strangled voice.

“Sponge!” The doctor looked taken aback, as if he didn’t know how the conversation had come to take this turn. “Who said anything about sponging? Kaoru, haven’t I already explained that any benefit you get out of the arrangement you’ll be repaying in full by the favor you’ll be doing for us? Maybe Yoshida’s case isn’t as desperate as those you’ve been handling this last six years, but she does need you. Pain is still pain whether it’s suffered in poverty or with all the trappings of luxury, and believe me, wealth doesn’t protect anyone from personal tragedy. It didn’t help Yoshida when her husband had a massive heart attack while driving along the motorway a few years ago. She lost her husband, her only son, her daughter-in-law and her grandson that day, and sustained injuries herself to her legs and pelvis that have led to her present worsening arthritic condition. Can’t you find it in you’re heart to feel some compassion for her?”

Kaoru hung her head, feeling crushed and humbled by the doctor’s disclosures. Perhaps working for so long in war-torn and famine-stricken areas of the world among people fighting for mere survival had led her to dismiss the needs of those more fortunate. And if she was honest, she would admit her pride had revolted at the thought that this friend of Dr. Genzai, a pampered and cosseted member of that more fortunate society, had been persuaded, perhaps reluctantly, into taking a waif into her home. Pride and a deep-seated conviction that she didn’t warrant anyone’s charity, however reluctantly given.

But the word-picture Dr. Genzai had drawn erased these personal considerations from Kaoru’s mind. Poor Mrs. Soseki, to have lost her whole family like that! Kaoru knew only too well what it was to lose everyone she loved at a stroke, to know herself utterly alone, but where in her own case she had only her own criminal stupidity to blame, Yoshida Soseki had been guiltless, the victim of a cruel accident. Kaoru’s heart went out to the unknown woman in piercing sympathy.

Her voice was husky with emotion as she said, “I’m sorry, Dr. Genzai. Of course, I’ll help your friend. I’ll do everything I can for her as long as she needs me.”

Dr. Genzai leaned over and squeezed her clasped hands. “Thank you, my dear. You’ve taken a weight off my mind.” He had been going to add, ‘a double weight,’ but thought better of it. It had been Kaoru’s warm compassion for someone in need that had prompted her cooperation and to remind her of the benefits to herself might even now upset what he saw as an ideal solution. But once again, he couldn’t help wondering at this fragile woman’s reluctance to think of her own comfort and well-being. He knew so little about her except that she was one of the agency’s most willing and selfless nurses, and he couldn’t help but be curious to know what it was that had made her the way she was.

Stifling that curiosity, he said briskly, “Now that’s settled, the hospital will be able to discharge you tomorrow morning, and Yoshida’s arranging for a car to be here to pick you up. The personal belongings you left behind in Beirut were packed and returned, so I’ll make sure they’re on hand in my office first thing in the morning and the driver can collect them before he comes here for you.”

Kaoru had the breathless feeling that events were sweeping her along too fast. “That’s very kind of Mrs. Soseki,” she murmured uneasily, “but doesn’t she want to interview me first? I mean, surely she’ll want to assure herself that I’m the kind of person she’ll be happy to take into her home? It would hardly help her to regain her health if she found she didn’t like me.”

Amusement curved the doctor’s mouth at the very idea that Yoshida could take a dislike to this self-effacing young woman. They were rather alike in some respects, both having a quick compassion for the helpless and vulnerable. “Well, in the normal course of events, I suppose her nephew would have spoken with you first, but as he’s out of the country on business at the moment…” He shrugged, his smile widening. “Not that either of them would question my recommendation, I think, and I’ll eat my hat if you and Yoshida don’t take to each other on sight.”

Kaoru found herself smiling in response, her doubts fading at his confident optimism. “What time would you like me to be ready?” she asked quietly, and knew that come what may, she had committed herself to caring for Yoshida Soseki, for as long as it took.

“Let’s say 10:30, shall we?” Dr. Genzai suggested. “That’ll give the driver time to collect your luggage from my office first, so there’ll be no delays to your journey. You’re bound to find it tiring, your first day out of the hospital.”

Kaoru realized suddenly that she still did not know her destination. “You haven’t told me where I’m going – where your friend lives,” she reminded him.

Dr. Genzai struck his forehead with the heel of his hand. “Ah – stupid of me! It’s Suffolk. Deepest Suffolk. A tiny village not far from Framlingham. I doubt if you’ll find a more beautiful house or a more peaceful spot on the face of the earth. And whether you’ll admit it or not, it’s what you need, my dear, a period of recuperation for both body and spirit.”

At the first mention of the word ‘Suffolk’, Kaoru went very still. It was a part of the world she’d once known well, at least an area on the Suffolk/Essex border. A part of the world that stirred memories she would rather not recall, a time of her life when she’d known happiness and security, when she’d believed herself to be facing a blissful future instead of the bitter hurt and disillusionment that had culminated in the night when her safe world hade been irrevocably shattered.

The nurses who had looked after Kaoru so well said goodbye to her on the ward and a porter escorted her down to the main entrance of the hospital, carrying the small bag that, together with the single suitcase the agency had been taking care of, constituted all she possessed.

Stepping out of the lift into the busy entrance hall, Kaoru knew a moment’s panic, an urge to return to the familiarity and security of the ward, but the porter was leading the way to the reception desk and a tall man in a tweed suit turned at their approach.

“Miss Kamiya?” he asked, and when Kaoru nodded, his face split into a grin. “I’m Sanosuke Sagara. Mrs. Soseki sent me to collect you.”

Kaoru held out her hand, responding to his grin with a smile of her own. “Hello, Mr. Sagara. It’s very kind of you and Mrs. Soseki to go to so much trouble on my behalf.”

“Tha’s no trouble, Missy,” he assured her in his slow burr. “Though to hear my Meg talk thass all kind of troubles I could get into, spending a night out of her sight.” His brown eyes twinkled. “Is this all you’ve got?” He took her bag from the porter, who waved goodbye.

“Yes. That is – there’s another suitcase-”

“Oh. I’ve got that safe and sound,” her escort assured her. “We’d best get on our way then.”

Sanosuke led the way to a gray Rover parked nearby. “Would you like to sit up along o’ me?” he asked when he’d put her bag inside, and she nodded her agreement.

“I didn’t realize you’d had to stay overnight in London because of me, Mr. Sagara,” Kaoru said as he slid into the seat beside her. It must have taken you away from more important things.”

Her companion glanced at her curiously as she spoke, noticing her anxious embarrassment. “Never think it,” he assured her. “Been a nice change for me. And tha’s giving this ol’ car a chance to stretch her legs ‘stead of puttering round the lanes. And if you’re worrying about putting us to expense, then don’t. I stayed at the boss’s place. He has his own flat here.”

Kaoru had assumed Mrs. Soseki was his employer but his reference to his boss as ‘he’ made her wonder. The nephew Dr. Genzai had mentioned? For some reason, she shivered in apprehension.

“You cold?” Sano asked, and turned up the heater.

“I’ve been working abroad and I’m afraid I’m not acclimatized yet. Neither are my clothes suitable for an English summer,” she said wryly.

“And you’ve been ill, I believe?”

“I – had an accident,” she prevaricated, unwilling to go into the details of the circumstances that had put her into the hospital. “They – the doctors – insisted that I took on less taxing work until I’m fit enough to go back to my old job, hence this post looking after Mrs. Soseki. But I want to stress that I’m not an invalid, Mr. Sagara,” she hastened to add, “and I don’t expect either Mrs. Soseki or her staff to treat me as such. I may not be fully fit but I’m perfectly capable of pulling my weight.”

Sano shot her another glance before returning his full attention to the road. Not an invalid, maybe but she certainly looked as if the first puff of wind would blow her away. “Just as long as you help get our lady on her feet again, Missy,” he said. “And it’s Sano.”

As the car swept along the road and she saw signs to Sudbury that she said, “It’s all so changed!”

“You know this part of the world then?” Sano asked, noting the crease in her forehead that drew her brows together.

Kaoru let out a long breath. “Once, a long time ago. Almost another lifetime.” And because Sano’s silence was questioning, “There was a school friend I used to stay with…”

Misao Himura. The nearest Kaoru had ever come to having a sister. Popular Misao, impulsive to a point of recklessness and yet with a sympathy that made her fiercely protective, fiercely loyal to those who earned her friendship.

Kaoru, guilty at leaving her stepfather she adored when she knew he was so hurt, almost paranoid with shame at her beautiful and utterly amoral mother’s well-publicized affair with an American actor and her departure for America with him, had found to her horror during her first few days at boarding school that her mother’s misdoings were common knowledge.

It had been Misao who had put an end to the malicious comments, who had stilled their cruel tongues. Kaoru could see her now, her single black braid swinging like an angry panther’s tail, her green eyes spitting fire as she had taken Kaoru’s defense.

It had been holidays spent at Merrifields, Misao’s lovely home about five miles from Sudbury, that had shown Kaoru the warmth and stability of family life; mother, father, uncle, aunt, and a clutch of cousins all sharing the enormous, beautifully kept but still homely farmhouse. And Kenshin, of course, Misao’s elder brother.

Kenshin. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about him for so long. Already a man when they had first met, twenty-two to her own very naïve thirteen years. He had teased her out of her painful shyness, comforted her when she took a toss from the little mare he was teaching her to ride, and later, when because of her friendship with Misao, the two families – the Himuras and the Mishimas, her stepfather, Yukio and stepbrother, Enishi – had been drawn closer. Kenshin had protected her from Enishi’s hurtful and confidence-destroying remarks.

When she had first known him, she had wished fervently that Kenshin could have been her brother instead of Enishi, who had never accepted her. But by the time she was eighteen, she had known a brotherly relationship with him was the last thing she wanted. She knew now it could only have been a girlish infatuation, but dear God, how she loved him with all the ardency that had been in her. And how his rejection had hurt!

Yet until that terrible moment of disillusion, there had been times when she had felt certain he was at last seeing her as a woman and not a child, when she had been certain he was as aware as she was of the overwhelming forces pulling them together, moments when he had kissed her, sometimes with a drugging tenderness, sometimes with a suppressed anger, as if he felt drawn to her against his will.

In her naïve infatuation, she had read all the signs wrong, of course. He had only encouraged because he had seen her friendship with his sister as a steadying influence on the volatile and easily led Misao. And that had been the most ironic twist of all!

“A long time ago?” he queried teasingly. “Couldn’t be hat long. What are you now, twenty-teo, twenty-three?”

His voice startled her out of her painful memories. “I’m twenty-eight, Sano, and it was another lifetime.” Because that night of Misao’s eighteenth birthday party had broken the thread. She had never seen Kenshin or Misao again.

It had hurt dreadfully that they had followed her stepfather’s lead and cut her ruthlessly out of their lives, but it was no more than she had deserved and after ten years, the hurt had blunted to acceptance. She could even wonder what they had done with their lives. They would both be long married by now, of course, perhaps with families of their own. But when she found herself wondering if Kenshin had married the glossy Shura Kimo, she found the idea painful.

Kaoru could still remember their shared laughter, Kenshin’s and Shura’s, laughing at her, still feel the echoes of the burning humiliation that had seared her.

Silly to let it touch her now. She hadn’t thought about Kenshin Himura in years, and she didn’t want to think about him now. Resting her head back against the seat, she shut hey eyes.

“That’s right, Missy, you have a bit of a snooze.”

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Chapter 1 is done! Chapter 2 will start with the coming of Kaoru to her new “home”! We will finally see Kenshin! Yes! I’m so excited! And I just want to tell y’all that I already have an outline for this story so don’t be afraid that I will suddenly stop… I dislike authors who stop their work especially when they’re story is already so good…