A/N: If you’re an Enishi fan, read my notes at the
bottom after reading the chap. If you’re not an Enishi fan, still read my notes
at the bottom! =)
Disclaimer: After the visit to the beach,
it's hard to believe that we live in a material world.
Altered Memory
Chapter 5 – Part II: Breaking the Barriers
Kenshin was suddenly grasping her
shoulders and shaking her. “You’re not to say that.”
Something in his voice brought her head
snapping up and she stared into his angry amethyst eyes. “It’s true though. You
said yourself it was worry over me that caused my stepfather’s stroke and so
contributed to his death.”
“But then I didn’t know–” His eyes
searched her face and his hands tightened on her shoulders as if he was going
to draw her to him. The tension that leapt and crackled between then was a
tangible thing, stopping Kaoru’s breath so that her lips parted involuntarily
as she swayed towards him, drawn by an irresistible force.
And then as if realizing he was still
holding her, he let her go abruptly, as if the contact burned him. “If you’re
telling the truth–” he began.
She drew a shuddering breath. “What reason
could I have for lying?” she flung at him. She was shaken by the fact that she
had come close to revealing her feelings and yet it had angered her that he
should find her touch so repugnant. “What reason would I have for refusing to
see him? It just doesn’t make sense. I had everything to lose and nothing to
gain by going it alone.”
“I’m not accusing you of lying.” He raked
both hands through his fiery hair. “In fact, the more I hear of this, the more
convinced I am that you’re not.”
“You mean you believe me?”
Kenshin hesitated, a strange, almost
tortured expression on his face. “Just tell me one thing.” He walked to the
fireplace, his thin shirt taut across his shoulders as he leaned both hands on
the mantelpiece, staring at the unlit logs. Then slowly, he turned and faced
her. “Was it true that you let Enishi – that you and he slept together?”
It took a moment before what he was saying
sank in. “No!” She stared at him with wide, horrified eyes. “How could you even
think it? He was my brother.”
“Not by blood,” he said tersely. “There
was no reason–”
“There was every reason,” she contradicted
him fiercely, the most being that she had been in love with the man who was now
accusing her of what was in her own mind would have amounted to incest. She
gave a shudder of revulsion. “He didn’t even like me, and I certainly never
thought of him in that way!”
“And if I told you he’d admitted it? Had
actually boasted to me that he’d had you more than once?”
She lifted her chin and met her gaze
unwaveringly. “Then he was lying,” she bit out.
For several seconds longer, Kenshin held
her gaze then he turned and beat his clenched fist against the mantelpiece. “Oh
god, what a fool I was! What fools we all were!”
Kaoru watched him in bewilderment, unsure
if his outburst meant he believed her or not.
He looked at her. “We all forgot Enishi
Mishima was no great respecter of the truth. And we both forgot how much he
hated you.”
She put up her hands as if to ward off
what he was saying. “I know he never liked me, but hate?”
“To have done what he did to you? Oh yes.”
At her bewildered look, he crossed the room quickly and took her hands. “Don’t
you see, Kaoru? There was no way Yukio Mishima could have given Enishi those
instructions to send you away. For the first few days after his stroke, he
could barely speak. So if Enishi lied to you and to me, he must have lied to
his father too. The whole rotten business was one colossal lie! He took
advantage of his father’s illness to create an unbridgeable rift between you,
to get rid of you.”
Kaoru sank slowly into a chair. “Oh no…”
she breathed, appalled. “Maybe I deserved his hatred, but to do that to his own
father. And why would he do such an awful thing?”
“I don’t think we have to look far for a
reason. He always regarded you as the cuckoo in the nest, taking his share of
the cake.”
Kaoru raised troubled eyes to his face.
“You mean he was afraid I was taking his father’s love away from him? But Yukio
loved us both.”
“I don’t think it was his father’s
affection he was afraid of sharing. Yukio was comfortably well off but he
wasn’t all that wealthy.”
“Money! But I meant to be independent,
earn my own living.” Even as she denied it, she still felt chilled.
And Kenshin knew it. “As far as Yukio was
concerned, you were his daughter and would be provided for. And Enishi didn’t
like it one bit. I can think of any number of times when he deliberately tried to
turn his father against you. The accident and Yukio’s illness gave him the
perfect opportunity. And though he might have succeeded in banishing you from
the scene, he still didn’t get what he wanted. His father still left you half
of his estate.” He looked at Kaoru’s stunned face. “Doesn’t that prove Yukio
still loved you?” His voice was suddenly soft, almost caressing.
When there was no response and her
expression still remained stunned, he frowned. “Don’t tell me you didn’t know
about that either! It was advertised long enough in the newspapers here and in
America.”
“You forget, newspapers are not readily
available in the African bush.” But Enishi could have traced her easily for he
knew which hospital accepted her, and their records would have told him about
the relief agency. That knowledge finally convinced her of her stepbrother’s
callous deception.
“Of course, you must have been working for
the relief agency by then.” Kenshin frowned again, as if the idea angered him.
“I’m sorry if I have given you too many shocks today. But a good thing about it
is that you need not go back to such dangerous work.”
How could he say that! She shook her head.
“I’m not interested in the money. Do you think it means anything when all I can
think about is that Yukio died believing I didn’t care about him… that I’d
deserted him?” The tears spilled over and she was powerless to stop them.
“Kaoru…” He groaned her name and he drew
her out of the chair and folded her in his arms. “Please don’t cry. You know I
never could bear it when you cried.”
Kaoru had cried for everything that had
been done ever since that night of the party. And under all the storm of
emotion, was the feeling of rightness that it was Kenshin’s arm supporting her
as he had so many timed before. Even when the storm began to subside she felt
no self-consciousness at first.
“Kaoru, it does no good to break your
heart over it now.” One hand came up to wipe her tears away with his fingers,
an expression of tenderness on his face. “Just remember Yukio loved you right
up to the end, and you loved him. None of Enishi’s manipulating changed that.”
A measure of peace settled over Kaoru’s
heart. “Thank you.” She smile dup at him, her soft mouth trembling, the lashes
fringing her blue eyes spiky from her tears, and because she wore no make up,
it gave her face an innocently childlike beauty that caught at the heartstrings
of the man holding her, bringing the barriers he had erected against her, which
had been severely tested during the last hour, finally crashing down.
But Kaoru, aware only of a subtle change
in the way he was holding her, responded to it mindlessly, letting her head
fall, her arms circling his waist, her hands spread against his muscled back
moving with an unknowing sensuality. All rational thought was suspended. When
his arms tightened around her, when the hard thrust of his body left her in no
doubt of his arousal, she felt only wild elation.
It was his audible gasp and his agonized,
“Kaoru!” as her mouth sought the tanned column of his throat that brought the
alarm bells clamoring in her head. She remembered that she had never belonged
there for he had never loved her. He belonged to Tomoe now, the woman he was
engaged to marry, and Kaoru could only feel shame at having forgotten that.
She stiffened, pushing away from him. “I’m
sorry. I I didn’t mean to embarrass you.” She endeavored to keep her voice
light.
His mouth quirked upwards and his eyes
smiled while his arms seemed reluctant to let her go. “Do I look embarrassed?”
She flushed and stepped away from him.
“No, but I am. I wouldn’t want you to think I was still suffering from that
childish infatuation I inflicted on you years ago. You’ll have to put that
little show of feminine weakness down to the shocks I’ve received this morning.”
She watched the smile die out of his eyes.
“Kaoru, I don’t know what–”
She didn’t want to listen to his excuse,
and broke in with a laugh that sounded hollow. “You will thank Tomoe, won’t
you, for loaning me your shoulder to cry on?”
His face was suddenly blank and remote,
and into the crashing silence, Yoshida’s voice called across the hall, “Kaoru,
where are you? My dear, are you all right?”
Kaoru seized the opportunity to escape,
dragging open the door.
“Oh there you are. You were gone so long I
thought you might be ill.” Yoshida sounded relieved but looked at her
curiously.
“No, I’m fine – Kenshin and I – I mean, I
bumped into him and as I wanted to speak to him–”
“That’s right, Yoshida. Kaoru had some
silly idea that I’d be happier if she left Vine House. It’s all right, I think
I’ve convinced her she was wrong and she’s agreed to stay. Isn’t that right,
Kaoru?” His tone was polite, even friendly, but his eyes were steely,
challenging her to deny his assertion.
And Kaoru knew she couldn’t meet that challenge when Yoshida was