Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the creation of Nobuhiro Watsuki, with the manga and anime rights belonging to Jump Comics and Sony Entertainment, respectively. FF is non-profit, meant for entertainment only.

Lost In the Madness

(JouChan)

Chapter One

*************

The figure crept through the streets in the dimness of night, virtually undetected. Daybreak was edging in on the shadow. The figure moved stealthily on through. His destination was the Kamiya Dojo. It had been a year since he had last been here and though he didn't expect to get taken in he couldn't miss the opportunity to see her one last time before he continued on his journey. It was almost morning; she would be up by now. The silhouette made it to the tree right outside the dojo walls, when he got there he was surprised at what he'd found. The dojo was in ruins.

Where were all the people?

The figure jumped from his spot on the tree branch. He had landed with in the once beautiful walls of the dojo.

Yahiko ran outside.

He froze.

Kenshin was standing there.

It had been longer than a year since he had last seen this man. The answer to all there problems as well as the problem itself.

“What are you doing here?” Disdain dripped from the child’s voice.

Kenshin looked at Yahiko for a moment the child had never been rude to him.

“What happened?” The face of the individual remained expressionless.

Yahiko was at a lost for what to say. Where do you start? Everything just went downhill after he took off.

She got sick because of him. She was taken away from him and all of the actions of this man standing here.

“You have no right to know what happened. Here or to anyone might have lived here.” Anger reinforced the strained voice.

‘Might’ what was that supposed to mean. Kenshin’s mind turned the word over.

“Where’s Kaoru-dono?”

Yahiko turned his back on Kenshin, the man he had once looked up to. He couldn’t hold the tears back anymore.

“Where’s Kaoru-dono?” He held onto Yahiko a bit firmly.

Yahiko tried to shrug him off but it was to no avail.

Kenshin turned the boy around to face him. He was crying. That really made him worry. The dojo was in ruins and there was no one was around. He was apprehensive.

“What happened? Tell me.” He lowered his face to the boys.

Yahiko turned his face. Not wanting to see the man in front of him. His lip trembled. “Ka........ Kaoru got sick.” His voice was broken. “She was taken away about six months ago.”

‘Sick’ She was fine when I left he thought. ‘Taken Away’

He walked the boy over to the steps and sat the boy and himself down. “What happened?”

The boy still wouldn’t look at him.

“After you left Kaoru became sick. Not like before when you went to Kyoto. This was different. She would sit on the porch and stare out into the sky. At first she would cry and do it for an hour at a time. Then she would sit out there longer and longer until all she was doing just sitting there. At first doctor Genzai and Megumi tried to snap her out of it but eventually when she started becoming worse they just gave up on her. Doctor Genzai said there was nothing he could do for her. One day, a man came. It seems that he had been in his carriage one day when he drove by the dojo, the gates were open and he had seen Kaoru. He.” Yahiko felt he couldn’t go on anymore. The tears streamed down his face and onto his Gi.

“He had seen her and he took a liking to her. She seemed to respond to him. He asked her if she would go with him.” Yahiko turned his face to Kenshin.

“She couldn’t have known what she was doing. We tried to tell the man she was sick but he wouldn’t listen. He took her. We haven’t seen her since.” Yahiko was bawling now. She had left him, all alone. His only family had been taken away from him.

Kenshin pulled him in close. Yahiko struggled against the embrace but Kenshin didn’t let go. He held him tighter.

When Yahiko had calmed enough Kenshin pulled away.

His eyes had hardened. How could this have happened? She was so strong.

“Yahiko.”

The child turned to the man.

“I know you blame me for what’s happened. Now it’s only fair I tell you why I left.” Kenshin turned his head away and stared out into the yard, not really seeing anything.

“That day, everyone had been out of the house. Everyone except for Kaoru-dono and myself. We were having lunch when a man showed up. He and a couple of others had been sent to fetch me. He was alone; all the others had been killed. He had bloodstains on him. His best friend had died in his arms. A battle was breaking out, threatening to turn into a revolution. At last count, they reported 150 dead and 20 missing. I couldn’t just stand by. If I had, war would have eventually reached Tokyo. So I did what was needed. I went back and fought. Battles such as these can’t be won in a day or lost in a week. Kaoru-dono didn’t want me to go. She tried to get me to stay but I just couldn’t. I.” Kenshin seemed lost in the moment. “I told her that Japan was overall more important. I was a rurouni, I had warned her that one day I would leave.” Kenshin’s voice was neutral.

What ever he felt inside was not revealed neither by his expression nor his tone. “She begged me to stay. There was nothing I could say to comfort her. I left her here on the porch. I couldn’t promise her I’d be back. If I were killed in battle she would never have forgiven me for breaking my promise to return, so I just left.”

Neither spoke for a while. They just sat there in silence.

“Are you going to stay?” Yahiko’s question hung in the air.

Kenshin turned to the child. He hadn’t grown at all since he left. He looked scrawny. Was there no one here at all anymore.

“I have to go find her.”

Hope seemed to sore into Yahiko’s eyes and this time when he cried it was filled with grief and joy.

Kenshin remained on the porch while Yahiko took a nap. Seems crying had taken the energy out of him.

He stared off into space. Lost in thought. She had gotten sick. Sick how? The man who had taken her, who was he? And where had he taken her?

He sensed Sano near by. Kenshin turned his face only to be knocked of the steps. He was shocked.

“Bastard! What the Fuck are you doing here?” Sano spat at Kenshin.

Kenshin slowly stood to his feet. He wiped the bit of blood from the side of his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Sano.” The tone was controlled.

“Haven’t you done enough?” Sano stood a couple of feet away, his fists clenching and unclenching.

Kenshin looked at the man he had once called best friend. Everything had changed.

“Answer me damn it!” Sano was just itching to hit him.

Kenshin regarded him with a cool gaze.

“I came to see Kaoru-dono.” Kenshin’s voice much like his gaze remained impassively.

“She’s not here, so GET OUT! Or I’ll throw you out!” The anger was quite visible.

Kenshin regarded him, accessing his state of mind.

“I will find her.” Kenshin said before turning his back on Sano and making his way into the dojo.

Sano stood in the yard, a bit puzzled by the statement.

Kenshin passed by her room. The door was open. He stood there just outside the room looking in. Everything was in order. They must have cleaned up after she left.

He continued on his way to his room and sat there. When Yahiko got up again he’d question him properly. He must remember more. Anything that could give him a clue as to where to start. For now, he would have to rest. He’d been walking for almost three days straight. He yawned. He’d never expected this.

*************

Yahiko opened his eyes. They felt puffy, he’d been crying because.......... His memory was a bit fuzzy. Kenshin was back. He allowed a small smile to come to his face. Kenshin would set everything right again. He hadn’t abandoned them like they thought. He’d gone off to fight. Trying to do things himself, to keep everyone safe.

“Why are ya smiling kid?” Sano was sitting to the side.

“Kenshin’s back.” Yahiko flung his blanket and stood up.

“Why?” Sano had gotten up along side Yahiko.

“He wanted to see Kaoru.” Yahiko looked down.

“I told him what happened. He said he would go find her.”

*************

Kenshin got up to find Yahiko, he hadn‘t been able to get much rest. Nightmares had plagued him, depriving him of the much-needed rest.

He found everyone at the table, Yahiko, Tsubame, Sano, Megumi, Tae and Dr. Genzai. He’d been caught of guard for a moment. But his mask fell into place almost immediately.

He sat by Yahiko and waited.

Sano wasn’t happy with the way Kenshin had left. And Kaoru had been too distraught to say anything they could comprehend. Whatever the reason, they knew he wouldn’t allow himself to come back. Kaoru had kept saying he had told her. He was a rurouni and was going to have to leave her.

They all stared at Kenshin before Tae began; “we didn’t expect you to come back.”

Dr Genzai stopped her. “ Kenshin you do understand she is sick?”

Kenshin nodded.

“Her illness is not physical it’s mental.” The doctor waited for Kenshin to absorb the information.

He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“She’s not herself. She’s lost touch with reality. And that’s what caused her physical illness. She stopped eating all together. Towards the end, she was more like a doll. We dressed her, bathed her, fed her etc. Do you understand?”

He had been listening intently till the ‘lost touch with reality’ part. She couldn’t have become.....She wouldn’t. She was strong. His departure wouldn’t have caused her this. He couldn’t accept this.

He looked up at them but his features didn’t reveal anything.

Sano recognized the look for what it was a mask.

“Do you know who took her?” The tone was neutral.

“Yes we know.” Megumi held Kenshin’s gaze.

“It was some rich man from Aomori. His name is Yasuyoshi Tokuma. Seems he fell in love with her at first sight.”

Kenshin felt the blood in his veins ice over.

“He talked to her and she seemed to respond. We told him she was sick but he said he would take care of her. We told him it would bring great dishonor to her, if he made her his wife while she wasn’t aware of what was going on. So he made her a deal. He told her; he would give her three years. He would give her a chance to get to know him and to get better. If at the end of that time she accepted, she would become his wife.” Dr. Genzai waited for Kenshin to take it all in.

“She accepted.” Kenshin voice was no longer neutral. It was cold; it made the hairs on their arms stand on end.

They all nodded.

“I will leave tomorrow at first light.”

He stayed at the table while Yahiko said goodbye to Tsabame and Dr. Genzai gave Megumi instructions before he himself left. Tae and Megumi made dinner. They all ate quietly and went to bed pretty much the same way.

*************

By the time sunup came around, Kenshin was bathed and dressed. Ready for the journey ahead.

Sano was the only one up. He stood just outside the gate waiting for Kenshin.

“No matter how you find her, you can’t walk away from her again. It will kill her.” Sano knew he’d find her. No one could ever keep her from him when he was out to find her.

Kenshin nodded.

He could read between the lines.

Sane or insane, married or not.

He would take her back.

*************

Kenshin looked at the town ahead, Sendai. He was about half way to Aomori. Soon he’d be there.

Kenshin continued to make his way into town when he saw a carriage in the middle of the road. Odd.

He still couldn’t quite make out why it wasn’t moving till he got closer. It was being held up.

Kenshin took careful notice of the situation.

One nicely dressed man, another in uniform must be the coachman. And three thieves, one with a gun and two with swords. Hmm.

He approached the men slowly. Any fast movements and they might fire at the detained men.

The man with the gun saw Kenshin approaching first and pointed it towards him. “Stop where you are.”

Everyone turned to Kenshin.

Kenshin kept walking towards the men.

The man shot at Kenshin.

He blurred.

Everyone lost sight of him until he reappeared behind the thieves. “Do Ryu Sen” he called out; sending the men and debris flying all over the place.

The other two men still had their hands up.

“I would suggest you leave while the men are knocked out.”

 The men put there hands down. The coachmen ran towards the front of the coach and the younger man held onto the door. “Thank you.” The younger of the men bowed towards Kenshin. Kenshin returned the bow.

He watched them go and when they were at a safe distance he began to his walk towards the Sendai again.

*************

Finally he got to Aomori, finding the house to of Yasuyoshi Tokuma wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. There was only one Yasuyoshi house in Aomori. The House was fairly new, it had been finished sometime last fall. His ancestrole home stood in Akita. The house there was more than six generations old, it’s were he had grown up.

Tokuma.

The man that held Kaoru-dono. He stood outside the gates. The house was built in a western style, it looked like one of the government buildings in Yokohama. It was very big. From what he’d been told Yasuyoshi owned a lot of land. He looked through the gate one last time before jumped over it and into the grounds.

He landed just fine but was spotted by the guards.

What to do?

The guards pointed their guns at him.

“I’m here to see Yasuyoshi-dono. I hear he’s looking for a bodyguard.” Kenshin kept his features unreadable.

One of the guards poked him with his rifle. “So you think you’re good enough, eh?” The man poked him with the rifle. Kenshin allowed the statement to go by. He was used to been taunted. Kami only knew how much of that he’d had in the last couple of years. Saitou came to mind.

One of the guards seemed to stare at him more intently than the others did. Kenshin’s gaze fell on the man. The man tore his gaze away and went into the house. About a minute later the man came back out. “Oi! Bring him in.”

Kenshin was ushered into the library. This is where he’d meet Yasuyoshi. When he got there though he was shocked. His expression may not have changed but he felt a tingling sensation under the skin of his face.

The man looked at him with an astounded expression.

This was the same man from Sendai. The man who was being held up.

“You’re the hitokiri battoussai?” The man sounded amazed.

Kenshin took the time to evaluate the man, now that he was closer. The man seemed to be in his early twenties. Classic features pale skin, dark hair, dark slanted eyes and average height. A man of wealth. Lean and well poised.

“I am.” Kenshin wasn’t so sure how to proceed. He knew he just could sneak in and take her. That’s not how he did things. He felt awkward explaining who he was and why he was going to take kaoru-dono back. This man had every intention of marrying her. He just didn’t know what he was going to do.

“How did you hear I was looking for a bodyguard?” The man had taken a seat at his desk.

Kenshin stood in front of the desk. This man had a lot of western commodities. “People talk.”

“I see, well the bodyguard isn’t for me it’s for my.” Yasuyoshi stopped not sure how to continue. “For my future wife, she wants to go out of the house but I just can’t let her go out without supervision. She’s very beautiful and because of my wealth, I’m afraid that someone might try to hurt her. You understand.”

Despite his efforts Kenshin felt this overwhelming wave of anger taking hold of him. He stood straight and rigid. He didn’t want to understand why? He had a feeling he already knew, anyhow. Kenshin didn’t trust himself to speak so he just nodded.

“Ok well, the job requires you to be accessible at all times because of that room and board are included. You are the best; a man of your reputation I assume charges a lot. Well money isn’t a problem. I want the best for Kaoru. Do you accept?” Yasuyoshi was very eager to gain the Hitokiri Battoussai as an employee.

“I accept.” Kenshin voice was crisp and curt. His anger had managed to break through.

Yasuyoshi stared at him for a moment. “How about a name?”

“Himura Kenshin.” He forced his voice to a neutral tone.

There was a knock on the door and both men turned around to see a petite woman come in. Beautiful was the only way of describing her. She appeared very fragile. Very pale. She kept her big blue eyes on Yasuyoshi as she came in.

Yasuyoshi rose to meet her half way. “Kaoru-chan, I’ve got the bodyguard I’ve promised you. Now you can leave the house whenever you wish.” He stepped aside so she could look at her bodyguard.

Deep blue met amethyst.

His eyes bore into her but she broke the gaze. She turned to Yasuyoshi; “I don’t want him wearing that.” She said pointing to his Gi. “I hate purple. Do you understand Tokuma? I hate it.” She turned her back on Kenshin and walked out of the room.

Yasuyoshi stared after her before turning to Kenshin. “Please excuse her. She’s a bit sick. As an employee of mine you will be required to dress in the same colors as the guards. I hope you understand.”

Kenshin was still processing her reaction to him.

She hadn’t even addressed him. Did she know who he was? Kenshin eyes focused on Yasuyoshi, he was still talking. ‘Uniform’ was all he caught.

Kenshin nodded. What else could he do?

“All right then, I’ll have someone show you to your quarters and give you some clothes.” Yasuyoshi stepped out of the room and called in a guard and gave him some instructions. “Himura-san, this is Hisaishi Toshio he will take you to your room and get you what you need.”

Kenshin noted it was the same guard from outside. The one that seemed to recognize him.

*************

Kenshin stood in his quarters they were very comfortable. He was a couple of doors down from Kaoru-dono so it was all right. It was all that really mattered. Kenshin stood in his room wondering if he should try and talk to her. He had changed in to the clothes he’d been given. He was wearing a deep blue Gi. The color was very familiar. Along with new white hakamas. He looked very much like his former self.

The hitokiri.

Kenshin left his room and knocked on her door.

The door slid open. The face of a woman appeared. She appeared to be a servant.

The women took one look at the man in front of her and nearly fainted. He was gorgeous. Beautiful long red hair. Curvy mouth and his eyes, they seemed intense. The girl noticed he wasn’t looking at her but behind her. At her lady to be more precise. This guy must have been the new bodyguard they were all talking about. She stepped to the side so he could come in.

The other women who’d been brushing Kaoru’s hair dropped the comb. Kaoru’s face turned to her bodyguard with a blank expression. “Leave us,” She said to her attendants.

Kenshin watched as the other women filled out of the room. When the door closed he turned his attention back to her.

Their eyes met and they gazed at each other.

“Kaoru-dono.” Kenshin began but was stopped by the flying comb aimed at his face.

“Don’t you dare address me by that name!” She was shaking. Her anger directed her actions. “The rurouni is dead.”

He looked at her.

“Do you understand?”

“I HATE the rurouni. He is DEAD! And when he died so did his Kaoru-dono.” Her fury colored her cheeks with a pink flush.

“The rurouni is not dead.” He said as he came closer to her.

She slapped him hard across the right side of his face.

He was stunned.

And so she slapped him again and again till he grabbed her hand. She kneed him and he growled at her.

“Don’t.” His eyes had gained a glint of liquid blue.

“Those eyes are the only one you are allowed to show me, battoussai. The rurouni is dead. No one else can have his eyes.” She jerked her hand back from him.

“You are mine now. You serve me.” Her eyes were hard like steel. Her look could almost seem hateful.

She pulled something out of her kimono and threw it at Kenshin.

Kenshin caught the small item in his hands. It was a small ribbon. A hair tie, deep blue like his Gi. “You will wear you hair up.”

Was she serious?

“Or?” He asked relaxing his posture.

Her face contorted in anger. “You don’t want to know. You are mine and will do as I wish and whenever I wish it.”

“You’re sick.” He immediately knew it was the wrong thing to say. He hadn’t meant it the way it sounded.

She pulled a dagger out of her kimono sleeve and threw it at his face. He simply moved his head to the side but wasn’t prepared for the second one she let go. That one nicked him in the ear. It was a small cut but it still drew blood.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

The clock in her room chimed four.

That seemed to break her out of her spell. She sat at her table with her hands resting on top. Seconds later a knock was heard.

Kenshin watched as she called the servant in. The woman served her tea and was then dismissed. When the door closed she addressed him. “Sit.” Her tone was polite.

He couldn’t fathom why the change in attitude.

He took a little too long and he could see how it made her angry. She picked up one of the teacups and threw it against the wall. It smashed on contact. She was consumed by her rage, despite that though she remained sitting. Kenshin sat in front of her. She clenched her jaw but ultimately took calmed, she took a long deep breath. Her eyes closed and when she opened them again they were an unfocused blue. She served him tea and gave him a little cake. She watched him take a bite out of his before she continued with her tea.

When they were done he picked up the tray to take outside but she grabbed his hand. “Where are you going?” He looked at her and her eyes narrowed.

“I have servants for that.” She let go of his hand. She stood and picked up the brush from where it had fallen earlier. She made her way to the window seat Tokuma had built for her and commenced brushing her hair.

He set the tray back down and sat on the floor a couple of feet behind her. Watching her. Observing her behavior, what his departure had done to her. If he hadn’t left she would still be all right.

She seemed to sense his thoughts; she stopped brushing her hair.

She stood up and walked behind him. She sat behind him and loosened his hair. She ran her finger through his hair, caressed it. She let it go and began brushing his hair. She parted his hair in half and brushed each side one hundred times. When she was done she pulled the hair tie from his hand and tied his hair in a high ponytail. She crawled to his front and brushed his bangs. She put her brush down and parted his fringe with her hands.

She slapped him hard and grabbed his shoulder. She shook him. “You are not allowed to have those eyes. You’re not allowed. You’re not allowed.”

His eyes must have turned back to purple while she had been brushing his hair, he thought. He had to grab her hands and sit her back down.

He sighed, he didn’t like seeing her like this. He would do as she asked. She saw the color she despised being replaced by an eerie blue. She calmed almost immediately.

She kneeled in front of him and touched his face with her hands she wrapped her arms around him and brought his head to her chest. He could hear her heartbeat. It was faint. She let him go just as quickly as she had embraced him.

She handed him her brush and sat in front of him. Her back to him.

He picked up the brush and started to brush her hair slowly. It had grown a lot since he had last seen her. It was so soft.

“Kaoru-san?” Someone was calling from the outside the door.

Kaoru didn’t turn. “What is it?”

Her head was leaned over while he continued to brush her hair.

“I came to get you for dinner.” The voice sounded of an older woman.

“I will be having dinner here tonight. I don’t feel well enough to step out.”

The brush paused mid stroke.

“Yes ma’m.” The woman outside could be heard as she left.

Kaoru moved to the window. There were small little lights out there.

On closer inspection she could see they were fireflies. The tears fell with out her knowing. Her mind went hazy, she stepped back. She could feel her legs giving out. She made it to her window seat; she was beginning to feel like before. She didn’t want to feel like before, when the world seemed to move slower and things didn‘t make sense.

Nck, Nck,Nck.

“Come in.” Kaoru kept her face averted.

“Please just leave the tray.”

The women bowed towards Kaoru’s direction and left.

Kenshin was still in his position holding the brush.

She rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her kimono and made her way over to the table. She started serving two bowls, arranging small patterns on the rice with the vegetables? “The foods ready.” She called out to him and the sound of her voice was so sweet and tender it almost made him cry. She sounded perfectly fine, like she wasn’t sick at all.

She had served him so that he was next to her this time. Earlier during tea, she had made him sit across from her. She looked at him with a blank expression, like she wasn’t really there.

All the others days couldn’t possibly be like this he thought as they continued to eat silently.

Over view: (I think this is necessary since on the last fic not all of you were on the same page.) So far Kenshin our adorable rurouni has come back from fighting. He makes a stop at the Kamiya Dojo to see how his Kaoru-dono is doing but when he gets there she's gone. To make things worse she's sick. When he finds her, he realizes that everyone was right, she's lost touch with reality. She's insane. But things for him are only going to get worse. She hates the rurouni.

Chapter Two

*************

The first day had been awful.

How far did her illness run?

She hates the rurouni.

He should have left her alone. All this thoughts ran through his mind as he made his way to her room.

Kaoru stood in the middle of the room while her attendants picked up the glass from the floor. She’d smashed her hand mirror on the floor, screaming for her bodyguard. She often had this kind of episodes.

They had called for him as soon as she had started screaming.

Kenshin conditioned his emotions, making them unreadable and unexpressive. This is what she wanted. She hated the rurouni but to what extend. It seemed to be the personality she disdained. She seemed to accept him, even want his company as long as his eyes weren’t purple.

All the women turned to the door as Kenshin walked into the room. Kenshin felt her ki going up. She was getting angry.

The women were starting to drool at the site he made. They had thought he was gorgeous yesterday but with his hair up like that the women were powerless to his looks.

Kaoru ran and threw herself at him. “BAKA” She shouted as she clung to him. Her arms rested around his neck as she cried into his shoulder. He was taken by surprise but wrapped his arms around her nonetheless.

The other women’s mouth dropped open.

Kaoru pulled her face back and he wiped the tears of her cheeks with his right sleeve. She sniffled.

“We always have breakfast together.” She said as she drew herself closer to him.

The women in the room were perplexed by the statement. He’d only been here for one day.

Kenshin gazed at her, careful not to let his guard down. He didn’t want his eyes to change color, she’d have fit.

“Madame” Same woman from yesterday, except the door was open so Kenshin was able to get a look at her.

And elderly women with salt pepper hair.

Kaoru stepped away and proceeded to leave with Kenshin following her closely.

She arrived at the dining room shortly, Yasuyoshi was already there waiting at the table. She took her seat at her usual spot, across from him. Kenshin stood next to her but didn’t sit down. He was quick to notice that the table only had two place settings.

“Ah, Kaoru-chan I’m so glad you made it. Are you feeling better?” Yasuyoshi Tokuma said as the servant started to serve.

“Yes,” she said as she turned her face upwards. “Why are you sitting?” She said to Kenshin.

His face turned to hers hadn’t she noticed.

Tokuma felt uneasy. “Kaoru-chan he can’t sit with us.”

Kaoru face turned immediately back to Tokuma. “What do you mean he can’t sit with us. I want him to sit with me.”

“Kaoru-chan, there are some things you just don’t seem to understand. He’s an employee.” Tokuma twisted the napking in his hands.

She seemed bewildered. “Do you have any idea who he is?”

“Kaoru-chan, please.”

No. I don’t think you understand. He’s the hitokiri battoussai. He could kill you where you sit before your guards there,” She pointed at the door. “Can even pull out their weapons. And you’re telling me he can’t sit here because he’s not good enough.”

“Kaoru-chan that’s not what I said.” He sighed in exasperation. Sometimes she took things the wrong way.

“I should hope not because if anything, you are the one who’s not good enough to sit with him.” She felt unrestrained anger. How dare he assume he’s better than anyone else.

“Kaoru! That’s enough” Tokuma sat up fast almost knocking his chair over in the process.

Kenshin moved closer to Kaoru in a protective move.

Tokuma couldn’t believe it. The man he’d hired was protecting his future wife from him. It was absurd. He wasn’t going to harm her.

Tokuma’s guards drew their weapons out at the site of Kenshin’s move.

“I would suggest you place your swords back in their sheaths.” Kaoru said as she heard what the men were up to. She didn’t hear them put them back in so she went on. “You understand that by drawing out your swords, you’ve challenged him to a fight?”

Tokuma was astonished, all this because he wouldn’t let the Hitokiri eat at their table. He sat back down with a big flop. He sighed. “All right he can sit.”

“I’ve lost my appetite.” She said as she stood. Kenshin didn’t move away from her.

“Kaoru-chan?” Tokuma called after her as she left the room.

She walked to the kitchen and sat down at the table, Kenshin stood next to her. “Kane-chan.” She called out to chubby women. Mid-forties. With a round face and a kind smile.

“Kaoru-chan, what brings you here? I thought you were having breakfast with Yasuyoshi-sama.” The women paused in her baking to look at Kaoru.

Kaoru just shook her head. “Can we have breakfast, please.” Her voice was polite.

Kane didn’t think twice. She served them breakfast all the while smiling a them both. Kaoru grabbed Kenshin hand and pulled him closer till he took a seat. When he did, she let him go.

*************

After breakfast they had remained in the kitchen. Kaoru listened intently as Kane told her about the latest incident her seven year had caused.

Kaoru smiled at the elder women she had befriended since first getting here. She tuned to Kenshin to see he was just sitting there with his eyes closed. She briefly wondered in he’d gotten enough sleep, before deciding that what they really needed was a picnic.

“Kane-chan will you prepare me a picnic. I think it will be nice to have lunch out.” Kaoru gave the other woman a big smile as she nodded.

“All right, I’ll just go get my book and then will go.” She yelled over her shoulder as she ran out of the room.

Kenshin was about to follow her but was stopped by Kane’s hand on his arm. Kenshin turned his attention back to Kane.

“You seem to care a great deal for Kaoru.” She voiced her thought to him.

“I am a bodyguard. Her safety is my business.’ He kept his response dry.

And you think she could be attacked in the house?” The woman raised her left eyebrow at him.

Kenshin didn’t respond.

“A friendly warning. Don’t get attached to her. She’s had it tough. Love is something she sees as dead to her as her rurouni.” It was all the woman before she started to prepared the basket for Kaoru.

Kenshin looked at the woman and wondered just how much she knew. It was obvious Kaoru had never described him because neither the Kane nor Yasuyoshi had recognized him as someone from her past.

*************

The walk had been a long one. Kenshin frowned, it was obvious he didn’t know Yasuyoshi’s grounds as well as he‘d like. If they were ever attacked the perpetrators could easily hide out here without ever been seen.

Kaoru kept her eye out for that one tree. She knew it was out here somewhere. She paused trying to remember where it was. She slapped her forehead and ran off to her left.

Kenshin was quick to follow. It seemed she’d found her spot. The site was really amazing. She stood under a huge tree. It seemed to have grown on a small hill because from where she stood she could see down into a valley of flowers.

She kept her eyes on the flowers all the while he set things up.

She sat soon after he set the blanket down and proceeded to take things out. She served him sake and proceeded to tell him how come across this small hideaway. Kenshin watched her take a sip of the alcohol and wondered if it still affected her in the same way.

“A couple of weeks back, once the doctor deemed it fit for me to leave the house, I wanted to come to the gardens but Tokuma just wouldn’t hear it. Said I was still too weak. So when he left for one of his meetings in town I ran off into the gardens. It was so nice to finally leave the house. I must have walked for hours. I collapsed on this spot, I was so tired from walking. I took a nap here for who knows how long. When I woke up the sun was setting. I ran all the way home. The guards met me half way. Seems Kane had come up to see how I was doing but hadn’t found me in my room she asked around and came to the conclusion I had run off. So she alerted the guards. I was mad at first but Tokuma made me see she did because she cared for me. Didn’t want me to get sick again.”

Kenshin only nodded in understanding.

They had their lunch while she caught him up on the house hold gossip. She was like a child divulging the biggest secrets in the land. He just observed her.

“Kane makes such great food don’t you think? I think she does.” She was all chatter this morning. She spoke as she put things back in the basket. She retrieved her book and pushed Kenshin forward. He had taken a seat right by the tree so he could have something to rest on but she was trying to make him move now. He didn’t move to sit right next to her. She made herself comfortable and pulled on him till his head rested in her lap. “I already started reading this but I’m going to start over again because you’re going to feel lost later on in the story if you don’t hear the beginning.” She opened the book to the start and held it up with her left hand. The right hand stoked his hair.

How Could I Not Fall In Love With You

By Yume

Life has always been so hard for me I don’t understand.

From the moment my real father died till now. All is hell. Maybe I should start from the beginning, my name is Aeka I don’t have a last name because I come from a poor family, so there is no last name. My father died when I was two years old. My mother who was a beautiful woman remarried about two years later. She married a man who had money but who’d come to it out of fowl deeds. This man had a son. A boy about five years older than me. My mother must have been happy with her new life. But good things never last long. Yusuke, my step father was only with us for three years. He was murdered sometime before my sixth birthday. The man who killed him Jurai, tried to get my mother to marry him. Even after ten years, the memory of that day still comes to me so clearly. I came in from playing outside. I had been hungry so I looked for my mother to give me some food. I came to see this man slap my mother across the face he was yelling at her. Whore! Do you really think you can do better than me. My mother who had fallen onto the floor held her cheek. She yelled back at him. I rather be a whore a hundred times over than ever stoop so low than to sleep with you. I would kill my self before I ever became your wife. He seemed so enraged. I watched in horror as he picked her up and shook her. I could watch anymore. I ran out only to crash into my brother. Yosho had never liked me much. At least I thought he didn’t. He always kept to himself and he’d never play with me.

He asked me what was wrong and I told him. As soon as the man’s name left my mouth he ran off into the house. I stood there where he left me for what seemed like forever to me.

Kaoru paused to turn the page and then continued to stroke Kenshin’s hair.

I finally couldn’t stand it anymore. I ran back inside. What I saw it still makes me sick. Jurai had beat my mother to death. He’d killed her but no before taking away her beauty. He body laid crumpled up in the left corner of the house. When my vision was finally able to move past the figure of my mother. I saw Jurai. He laid far off to the right. He was all bloodied up. As I got closer to his body I noticed my brother laid a couple of feet from me. He had a large gash over his eye but other than that he was fine. My eyes were drawn to the sword he held in his hand. It made me realize that the blood on his Gi and on his Hakama weren’t his. I turned back to Jurai. I was a lot closer now. I could see his head had been severed. I had never seen so much blood before, I felt like screaming but I couldn’t. I just stood there a couple feet behind my brother staring.

I know I was in shock. I never saw him move till he grabbed my face with his hands. I looked into the face of my step brother. He looked different, colder. It was almost like he’d spent all his life to achieve this one moment. How could that be possible, he was only nine.

He took me to my room and told me to pack only what I could carry. When I was done he told me we’d be leaving soon to get some sleep. I just looked at him. I think he must have understood. He held me until I fell asleep. We left at sun up right after he burned our house.

She paused to turn the page but Kenshin grabbed her hand. “We need to leave.” He said.

Kaoru looked around and noticed the sun was setting. She placed a small red ribbon on the page to mark her spot and got up.

Kenshin threw everything together into the basket while she stretched.

*************

As the got closer to the house they could see guards outside waiting for them. Kenshin didn’t like the feel to this one bit.

Hisaishi Toshio, the guard from before.

He approached them. “Yasuyoshi-sama wants to see you right away.”

Kenshin nodded and they stepped into the house. He left the basket near the entrance. They made their way to Yasuyoshi’s office in silence.

The moment Tokuma saw Kaoru he embraced her. “Kaoru-chan. You’re not still angry are you?”

Kenshin turned his face to the side. The sight of the two embracing, made him feel odd. It stirred something in him. Something he hadn‘t felt in along time. It was rage.

“I bought you something while I was in town. I hope you will forgive me.” Tokuma had left her to retrieve a packaged wrapped in silk from his desk.

She looked at him from the package. “Thank you,” she said as she bowed to him.

He smiled.

I’m going to be going away for awhile. There are some problems with my business that I really must attend.

“How long?” She tilted her head to look at him.

“I’m afraid it will be a couple of months. I should be back sometime before New Years.” He gave her a coy smile. “Are you going to miss me?”

“A bit. You wouldn’t let me leave this house with anyone else.”

Tokuma frowned.

“Will I be allowed outside while you’re gone?” Her expression gave no sign to her thoughts.

“Yes, of course. It’s why I hired him.” He said pointing at Kenshin. “I’m sure you’ll be safe with him.”

Kaoru nodded.

“There are some things I need to discuss with Himura-san before I leave I’ll see you at dinner.” Kaoru bowed to Tokuma and left the office.

She took the basket from where Kenshin had left it and took it to the kitchen.

“I think by now you are a bit more aware of Kaoru’s problems?”

Kenshin didn’t respond so Tokuma continued.

“What I tell you will remain between us.” He didn’t way for Kenshin to answer. He just continued on.

“Kaoru is sick as I know you must have noticed. She’s has gotten better over the last couple of months so I look forward to the day she will be all better. Than we can marry.” Tokuma seemed lost in thought.

Kenshin felt a deep coldness sweep through him. In the past he had only felt it when Kaoru was in danger. She was once again someone’s objective and that didn‘t settle to well with him.

“Why is she like this?”

Tokuma gazed at Himura. The man gave him the creeps. He was always so serious and sometimes the look he got in his eyes, it made him wonder. He had heard stories of this man. It made him wonder just how many of them were true.

“I think, well from what I can make out anyways. She had been in love with a man. I don’t know his name. She called him her rurouni. She kept saying he was dead because he’d never leave her. He’d promised. He would never break his promise. When I first found her. I remember being taken in by her. She’d been sitting on the porch of her dojo. She’d been wearing a beautiful pink kimono. Her hair was down. The look in her eyes had been fathomless. They were a deep blue, she had seemed lost in thought when I approached her. She had gazed at me with those eyes and it was too much. I felt victim to her beauty. When I spoke with her I noticed there was something wrong. But didn’t quite understand what. I only got a chance to speak with her before two men came out of the dojo. An older man, looked like her grandfather. And a younger one, spiked hair bandaged hands, her brother. That one hit me. But the grandfather stopped him from hitting me again. Anyways they told me what was wrong with her and I understood why she sat out there. She was waiting for him to come home. Usually I would have left things alone. Gone on my way but it had been the look in her eyes when I had first seen her. It was unfocused but so full of love. I figured if I could get her to look at me with half the love she had for this other man. She would make me the happiest man in Japan. So I made her a deal. Despite the protest of the others in her family. She agreed and I took her.” The man smiled at the fond memory.

Kenshin didn’t know how to feel. All he knew was he didn’t want to be in this house right now.

“Did you have instructions for me before you left?” This conversation needed to finish quickly so he could leave.

“Yes, of course. I’m going to be gone for about three to fourth months. I would take her with me but if I lost her in China I don’t know if I’d be able to find her. I will leave money with Kitsaki, when ever you two leave the house be sure to ask him for money. Sometimes she’ll want to buy something she didn’t intend to. I’ll also leave your salary with Kitsaki he’ll give it to you every month. She tends to run off so be on the look out for that. I think all of you should be pretty safe here at the house. The guards have their swords but if there is ever an emergency there are guns. I have also ordered for them to take their order from you should something happen. I’m sure you’ve had your share of surprise attacks. Was there anything you wanted to ask me?”

Kenshin shook his head ‘no.’

“All right then. Lets go have dinner.” Tokuma stood and made his way to the door.

“I can’t. There are things I need to do.” Kenshin had turned his face but not hi body.

Tokuma nodded and left.

Kenshin didn’t bother with a door. He leapt out the window and into the yard. He ran until he couldn’t see the house anymore.

When he finally stopped he was by the docks. He made his way in to the bar and sat in a corner. All he could think was he had caused it. He had been right to assume it. She had loved him. She had waited for him to come back. But now she hated him. She’d told him so. In her mind he was dead. He drank until the bar closed

*************

The sun had come up just as he’d been leaving the bar.

All that alcohol made him slow. He estimated he’d make it sometime before breakfast. With any luck he’d make it home before Kaoru realized he’d spent all night out. He continued his long tread for almost an hour.

Finally he could see the house. He snuck in through the side instead of jumping the gate. From there he used the a water fountain to leap up to his room. He was thankful he’d left his window open.

He took a quick bath and changed his clothes.

As he was leaving his room though he noticed that his blankets were a bit crumpled up. That could only mean one thing.

He got to her room in seconds.

He opened the door, it was unlocked. What he saw frightened him. She laid on her bed, with her hand over her stomach. He approached the bed carefully. Her eyes were opened but she didn’t seem to be focused on anything. It looked like she’d been crying. He passed his hand over her eye. She didn’t blink. He shook her a bit but there was no reaction.

He sat on the bed and held her up by the shoulders. He hid his face in the crook of her neck. He really felt like crying. When he’d left her yesterday she had been fine. She must have gone to his room and seen he wasn’t there. She must have assumed he had left.

He eased her back down on the bed slowly. What could he do.

He looked at her closely. “Kaoru-dono”

He saw life come back to his her eyes. She blinked.

He had a feeling that might work.

Her hate for the rurouni was big enough to break her out of this. He was glad she was better but it saddened him to know she hated him that much.

He always thought he wasn’t good enough for her. He had too much blood on his hands for someone as pure as her to love him. Yet she had and he’d been too stupid to see it. Now all that was left was hate.

Her eyes were regaining focus. She looked up to see Kenshin staring at him. She raised her hand slowly to his face.

He leaned further down at her gesture and when he was close enough she slapped him. The sound resonated though out the room.

He didn’t move back though. If this is how it was going to be between them. He needed to set some ground rules.

“Where were you?” She asked him as she propped herself on her elbows.

He backed off and stood by her side of the bed. He looked down at her before he turned his back on her. “Out.” His voice remained neutral.

She felt confused.

“What do you mean out? Where? Where you alone?” Her voice was rising.

He had his back to her. He’d just noticed the window was wide open. She could get sick with the window open like this. He went to close it and heard her get of the bed.

“Answer me when I talk to you?” Her face was getting red.

He took his time closing the window. He wasn’t sure if he should handle things like this. But his soft side seemed to stem from the rurouni and she didn’t respond to him one bit. Just the opposite, it would upset her quickly.

He turned around and held her with a cool gaze.

Her eyes narrowed in response.

“Where were you?” Her voice shook

“I told you all I need to tell you. I’m an employee to Yasuyoshi. If anything, I answer to him.” His voice had grown cold.

She stepped back. She held her hand to her head. “No. nO. NO!” She screamed and fell on her knees. “No you are mine. Mine!!” She shook with fury.

“I think it’s time we set some rules. My job here is to keep you safe but that is all. I owe you no, explanations.” He started to walk away but she rose to her feet might quickly. She grabbed him by the front of his Gi and kneed him. He fell to one knee and she took the opportunity to knee him again, this time catching him under the chin. He fell to his back and she straddled him. “You are mine,” she said before she kissed him.

He lost himself in the moment, grabbing her by the wrists so she’d let go of his Gi. The move was to get her to lay on him completely. He realized what he was doing was wrong. Taking advantage of the moment. But if this kiss is all he’d ever get from her, than he’d take it.

***************

Yasuyoshi Tokuma, a man he just recently started to dislike. He was supposed to leave for Nagasaki today. He would be gone for a while. Business.

He didn’t understand how Kaoru was supposed to get to know Yasuyoshi when they hardly spent anytime in the same room. Either way it didn’t matter. When ever the opportunity presented itself he’d take Kaoru.

Kenshin stood by the second story window and watched as Yasuyoshi left. He already had specific instructions on what to do if they were attacked.

He didn’t need to be there with the other guards.

The memory of Yasuyoshi saying his goodbyes to Kaoru came to mind. He’d been forced to watch as Kaoru had bid him farewell. He’d come in a few minutes after they had broken away from there kiss. His eyes had turned to twin pools of fire. He’d let his vision roam over her figure. Her Yukata had opened to expose her most shamelessly. The deep plunging neck ended just a bit from her belly button. While the bottom of her yukata had moved to the side. One leg, the one she’d kneed him with was completely exposed all the way to the thigh.

She’d been completely indifferent to the hungry look he’d given her. She’d simply refastened her yukata and took a seat at her dresser. She’d started brushing her hair when Yasuyoshi had come in. Kenshin’s eyes narrowed at the memory. He didn’t like the way he’d just waltzed into the room.

He’d embraced her again and cupped the side of her face. He’d told her to be good. To listen and be careful. He’d take her out when he got home. She’d only nodded. She’d allowed for Yasuyoshi to kiss her on the forehead and bid him good bye.

Yasuyoshi left with a smile on his face.

Kenshin however had been left with a murderous rage. He was been unreasonable but the fact was that this other man had every intention on making her his wife. That fact alone didn’t sit well with him at all.

He left the window when he saw the carriage taking the other man away. Away from the house and away from them.

Kenshin made his way back to Kaoru. They spent the rest of the day in silence.

*************

Winter would be here soon; the nights were starting to get cold.

He looked out the window. It was around midnight or so. He felt tired. He was so glad she liked sleeping in. It gave him time to get a bit of extra rest. She didn’t like for him to leave till she fell asleep.

He yawned. He’d been here for two months and still he couldn’t get her to address him properly. It was always ‘battoussai’ to her. She hadn’t mentioned the others either.

Kenshin made it to his room and laid down. Sleeping this way gave him the impression that everything was ok. Like they were at the dojo.

Almost.

He closed his eyes and fell asleep. He dreamt of a time when a worthless rurouni was welcomed home from Kyoto by a beautiful ken-jutsu instructor.

*************

Kenshin was up with the morning sun. He watched from his spot as the wind rattled things outside. He was by the window when someone stood next to him. He didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. “What do you want to do today?”

“I want to go outside today. And by outside I mean past the gardens. I want to go into town.” She stood straight.

He turned to look at her and she turned to him too. Sometimes it was pointless because her eyes remained iced over. But today they seemed softer.

He nodded at her and they left.

She had a carriage take them into town so she could do some shopping.

The carriage dropped them off and went back to the house. She planned to be there all day long it seemed.

She walked on ahead of him. She did that sometimes. Like she wanted to distance herself but the moment he stepped away she became irrational, took him too long to calm her down. So now he walked close to her and she would either step away or come closer. It always depended on her mood.

She had stopped at a small shop and bought a gorgeous kimono. She smiled at him. They moved on to the next one and bought some perfume. She stopped at a store to buy some new pillows but the girl smiled too much at Kenshin. Kenshin didn’t notice but she did. She felt her ears get hot and her breathing increased. She grabbed Kenshin’s arm, since he had been right next to her and hugged it to her chest. His head turned toward her and she came closer to him. He felt her arms snaking in through the sleeve of his Gi and rubbing his arm underneath. She drew him closer and pulled him away from the shop.

The girl at the shop stared wide eyed at the blatant demonstration of affection. You just didn’t do that in public.

Kenshin didn’t understand her behavior. She grabbed him and pulled him out of one shop just to let him go as soon as they got to the next one. He allowed her the space she needed while she looked around.

Kaoru was looking at the most odd necklace. It was silver. The way it was cut it made it sparkled. The man showed her another one right next to it. It was the counter part. She made a little ‘Oh’ sound. The smaller one was very shinny, the charm was a like a small coin but it seemed broken. The second one was bigger, the charm on this one was also a coin sized it seemed to be the counter part of the smaller one. She put the pieces together and turned it around. The design on the back had an intricate pattern. It formed a heart. A complete one. She smiled at it. She bought them both plus a nice bracelet.

She walked out of the shop. Kenshin was just outside waiting for her. They walked to a little restaurant where the sat down to eat.

When they finished Kaoru excused herself, she really needed to wash her hands. That little bowl wasn’t enough to get the smell of fish of her hand. Kenshin watched her leave the table. She’d been really quiet today.

Kaoru was coming back down the hall when someone grabbed her. She was able to let half a scream out before she was knocked out.

The man looked at the small women in his arms. It was easier to kidnap her than he thought. He’d been following her since she’d gotten out of the jewelry shop. She must be someone’s mistress. She was certainly pretty enough. He made his way out of the restaurant where two other men were waiting for him.

Kenshin heard the scream and ran to the back of the restaurant but there wasn’t anyone there.

*************

Kaoru opened her eyes but shut them quickly. The light hurt her eyes. She was hanging from the ceiling by her hands. She stood on chair she noticed. Her eyes scanned the room. She noticed one man sitting by a table a couple of feet away. “Oi!” She yelled at the man.

The man turned to look at her and his eyes just lit up. She wasn’t sure she liked that look. She shook her hands. “Let me go!” She struggled against her binds; she felt the rope digging into her wrists. “LET ME GO!”

The man came closer and leered at her. She looked down at her kimono and it seemed like it had fallen open. She swung her leg and kicked the man in the face. The man stumbled backwards but didn’t fall. The man wiped at his mouth and when he saw blood on the back of his hand he became angry. He slapped Kaoru hard with the back of his hand.

She felt the coppery taste in her mouth; he’d split her lip open she could feel it. She started laughing till tears started coming down her face.

The man just looked at her. “Why are you laughing?”

She smiled. “You don’t know who I’m with, do you?”

“You’re gonna tell me.” He looked very threatening.

Kaoru smiled and the man knocked the chair out from under her.

She heard the rope snap as it ripped into her wrists, she could feel the blood starting to drip down her arms.

“Is this a kidnapping because you’re doing it all wrong?” She fought to keep her voice from showing the pain she felt.

The man came closer and slapped the other side of her face. From her position she was close enough to kick him in the groin. The man fell on the floor. Another one came running in. “Hayao” The new man approached the fallen one. “She kicks Yusuke.” Was all the fallen man was able to say.

Yusuke looked up at Kaoru, she seemed angry.

“I’m going to clean you up. Don’t make me bind you completely.” Yusuke started moving forward her but was stopped by Hayao.

The door opened to reveal one more man. He was panting. “I just came from the restaurant. There’s a crazy man looking for a Kaoru.”

They all turned to her. “Can you guess what my name is?” She said to them.

“Who are you with?” Hayao called from his pot on the floor.

“I’m with someone who’s going to kill you for what you’ve done to me. I’m with someone very famous. Can you guess who I’m with?” She was taunting them she knew. But she wanted to enjoy the shock that was bound to appear on their faces when they found out who she was with.

Hayao was finally of the floor. He pulled a dagger out of a purple handkerchief he had in his Gi and started walking towards her.

The sight of the color purple made her completely lose it. She felt panic, hate, anger but mainly confusion. She was screaming hysterically. She had turned completely pale.

Hayao figured the dagger had scarred her so he brought the purple clothe out of his Gi to cover it and put it away. But he didn’t get a chance to.

She gave one long frightful scream. “KENSHIN!!!” After that she went completely limp.

The men starred at each other completely bewildered by what had just happened.

Yusuke motioned for Hayao to cut her down. “We should move out while she’s out. Someone might have heard her scr.......eam.”

His last word was barely heard over the crash of their front door. Asato was thrown away from the door with the blast. He landed right underneath Kaoru’s feet. The man Yusuke and Hayao saw walk in was a small man. A red head with weird colored eyes. They saw him come in right after the debris. “How the hell are you?” Hayao asked.

Kenshin didn’t see anything but a limp body hanging from the ceiling. Her body was bloodied up, her legs exposed and a dagger lay a couple of feet from her. Kenshin stopped walking. He felt everything just come to a stop. Felt himself go numb, when he turned to the three men in front of her his eyes were yellow. Too many times, too many failures.

Asato was just getting up from the floor. Unfortunately he was the one closest to Kaoru.

Small Notes: Lets make sure we're all together on this, ok. Now the house, I hope you guys were paying attention. Yasuyoshi has a western style home. Think Mansion; balconies, library dining room etc. Kenshin himself said that Yasuyoshi had a lot of western commodities.